Stop The Abuse.

So this is actually the first piece of art I've submitted on YWS in my whole time being on the site. I've been drawing or sketching for as long as I can remember, so I'm not really sure why I haven't posted any of my art work here. Oh well!

So, I did this for a completition in my town against child abuse. I'm kind of fond of the idea behind it all but I understand that some people might not understand the message I hope to get across from the poster itself. Basically, if you can't see already, it's someone's eye and the reflection of what that person is looking at; an abused child. If you still can't see that after me explaining I'm going to be worried.

About the lettering, I know the spacing is wrong but don't worry; that has all been altered in the real thing. All reviews will be welcomed and appreciated.
Thanks.

Spoiler

I really like the idea behind this, and I think it shows pretty clearly.
You can totally ignore my crazy nit-picking mania, which starts past this point.
Alright, the shape of the eye is good, but if you want you can add a tear duct and eyelids. The pupil's really big, and while I know you're probably not going for realism, I'm pretty sure nothing's reflected in a pupil. I mean, it's a hole and everything. So you could shrink the pupil, darken the iris, and add the reflection in there. Even if you don't do that, irises are never really colorless.
The hand is well-drawn but I think the placing's a little awkward. It sort of detracts from the message and the eye, so you could just get rid of it.
Eyelashes are quite a bit farther apart, don't abruptly start and stop, and curl the opposite way then in the drawing.
I think a reference photo would be useful, and there are tons of pictures of eyes on google images.
Whew. Sorry, I'm not a nit-picker by nature and it makes me cringe to say not-necessarily positive things about other people's work. Again, good job. Thanks for sharing.

Hey there,


Just a quick review because the title caught my eye.

I like how the child is in the eye, it's great symbolism, and also the bricks in the background reinforce the dark nature of violence, so I liked that effect
The fist that is also great and gets the message across effectively without crowding the picture.
However, if i was to say one thing, the words along the bottom, could maybe be a bit more even in size and not as squashed at the end. Also even though it does look great, maybe a different font would add more strength behind your point...

Overall, I like the message and the image itself. It's a great topic to do, and I can't wait to see more of your work

Wow, I think this is great. I love the idea of the eye looking at the child, and you can feel the emotion of sadness coming off of the person. I wish you would upload the final product to see what changes you made

1) The child looks like it is in the eye, instead of being reflected like you said. Maybe you should add a glint to make it more realistic, because the eye looks kind of flat and hollow.
2) Maybe work on the lashes a bit, they are a bit distracting with their volume. Making them smaller will bring more focus to the center of the eye. And eyelashes go from the end to other end of the eyes, not just the middle.
3) To make the iris (colored part of the eye) better, maybe you could shade it in. As I said before, leaving it white makes the eye look empty.

That's about it from me

Don't you worry Kagi, I have understood the message behind your sketch before reading your words.

I loved your idea, the abused child in someone's eye; I find it well matching the message you want to convey. As for your drawing, I see the way you drew the eye fascinating! They eye lashes however should have been drawn by a thinner pencil and not so well close to each other. I also like the way you drew the child inside this eye as well as the hand. I'd like to comment on the "Stop the abuse" statement as you can see the letters are not on the same line together and it would have been better if you have written than below the eye a little bit not above it. But overall, it is AWESOME! ( You should really post more of your work, I love to see more of your drawings )

Hello Hamgee! Here as requested. I'm not much of an artist and therefore not very good at reviewing artwork, but I'll give it a shot.

First off, I think this concept is great. Your portrayal is fantastic, too, and overall I think it's a beautiful piece. There are a few things I'm going to nitpick about.

The eyelashes seem very thick and look almost like a meadow of grass. I think they could be a lot more sparse and a little more pronounced, making each lash a bit thicker and even a little longer than you've drawn them. They also seem to end well before the eye rims end, and I think they could extend that length, diminishing in size as they reach the ends.

The reflection is good, but I think, since this is for child abuse, that the child needs to be more of a central, prominent figure. A lot of the pupil is taken up with the wall and the surroundings, and I think you could make the child larger and give a little more importance to it. I'm also not quite sure what the thing behind the child is, by the footprints -- it looks like a kind of purse or something? I'm not sure what it is and what relation it has to the theme. That's just a minor nitpick, though.

Last, I'm not sure if the fist is completely necessary. I mean, it works for the whole empowerment side, but where it is in relation to the eye, it just seems...odd. Too many body parts in a space that aren't attached to each other or in proportion just make it look a little off.

But again, those are just some minor nitpicks from someone who can't really do any art. And overall, I think it's a great piece of work. I wish you the best in the contest!

Hey there!

Okay, so overall this is nice. It sets a good tone, and the overall effect is, I think, what you were going for. But obviously there are some things that could be improved on (in no particular order...).

--Like what Ranger said, one of the first things I noticed were the eyelashes. They should definitely be thinned out, each given more their own stroke. Right now, it looks like you did a fast back-and-forth kind motion, which may work for some things, but not this. Don't get me wrong - you can have a lot of eyelashes and have them thick, but as of now they're kind of all blended together.

--Again like Ranger, the fist seems out of place. From the eye, we get a more desolate tone, a portrayal of beaten, lost, alone children. But then we get the fist, which shows empowerment and a banding together to fight... which I guess is the point, fighting to save the children, but I think more the point than that was to show what we need to save rather than showing the power behind saving them. I'd get rid of the fist. I just don't think it's working towards your advantage.

--Can I just say that I love the letters? So yeah. Sorry, I'm kind of just bouncing around on my points.

--Someone said (I don't remember who) that a tear duct and eyelid would make this more realistic - those things would be very good for this. I'd suggest maybe even taking it a step further - putting detail in the iris, shading maybe, instead of just having it all blank white. And some faded vein lines of the white part of the eye might look nice too, though be careful not to overdo them.

--The girl inside - for the most part, she looks good, but (and this is probably a little too nitpicky...) her limbs are a little... limp. Like noodles. They have no real definition, no real shape. If you could somehow show them with more developed bends and such, that'd be amazing. Though I do realize I'm being incredibly petty over this.

--My final comment is... confused. I coulda swore that the part with the girl and such was inside the eye, like it's hollow or something and the front was either cut out or made clear for our benefit. And that what we're seeing is her soul, in essence. Her pain. Her abuse. But everyone's saying that's her reflection. Which, I guess, is okay, but for me it kind of takes away from the greatest aspect of this - the most intriguing, thought-provoking thing. I don't know, this is probably just my idiocy shining through. But I coulda swore...

Anyway, review over. This is good. Thanks for the request. (And sorry I took so long... most of this was typed up days ago, I swear... >.>)

loveness, ultraviolet <3

Hey, wow!
You're an excellent artist
I also love the idea.
I mean, most people can draw a picture of a sad or lonely person... which signifies abuse. Usually. But this shows that you have true imagination
I like the fist in the corner.
At first I was going to mention the fact that I wasn't so keen on the eyelashes, but now I see that they're more like shadows, which, to me, shows that you've thought this through. However, I'd suggest smudging parts of it, as well as smudging some of the other parts of the eye - some parts are shaded in more than others... I don't know whether that was to emphasis certain areas or not, but you should definitely work some more shading-in into your work as you're good at it.
Overall, you're a very good artist and I want to see more of your artwork

Good luck,
Emmzziee

I love the concept with the child in the eye, and it's very well done you're an amazing artist.
I think mostly everything has been said except:
On the hand, you've drawn the thumb like it's another finger and it makes it look a little awkward. Your thumb sits almost sideways compared to your other fingers, so a few slight adjustments to the shape and knuckle placement would fix this easily.

But in all this is well done, I love it!

Wow.
I really like the idea you've got in this picture.
I personally think there is nothing wrong with a bit of artistic license, and you can do whatever you like with the eye.
It still looks realistic enough to convice me and I really felt emotion flowing from this picture. Good job!
I would agree that the hand seems a bit misplaced, but I like how it's behind the lettering.
Overall you have a really great picture here. Well done!
~Leopard