Ballad of a twisted mind. :)

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Do you feel lost and all alone, like the universe is a stranger?
Do you feel threatened and belittled, like your dreams are in danger?
Does the appalling darkness electrify the sublime light?
Does the obscurity condemn every outlook that ever seemed bright?


A dark poison slithering through my veins,
Plaguing my body, or at least what remains.
A loathsome glow deep within my chest,
Somewhere near the heart, on a shady quest.


A shadow of your former self, you all but remain,
Weathered and seasoned, in an envelope of pain,
Looking for an escape, somewhere to hide,
From the monsters within you, all so snide.


A menacing nightmare, impossible to elude,
You all but go insane-hyperventilate and delude,
Alone in the throng, or fitting into the vacant?
Yet to explore your purpose- it remains latent.



Within an arm's reach, the end awaits,
the final purpose is what the hardship resuscitates,
An immense light - blinding yet delightful,
in a moment of optimism, makes you surprisingly insightful.


Maybe it isn't the end yet - maybe it isn't time,
Maybe it rains for a reason, and the pursuit of happiness isn't a crime,
There's more to life than just suffering and pain,
There's more to the people than a side inhumane.


it's been so long, you've forgotten the sound of content,
you've always meant well, but it wasn't a mutual intent,
The darkness is illuminated, the spark has resuscitated a fire,
A glow within your chest, from a poem that a girl did inspire,


An adhesive for the cracks, a bond for the breaks,
My heart is darned, by the sunshine and it's flakes,
My inconvenient cardia,racing at her magnificent sight,
My mind in a sea of tranquility, whilst my soul wallows in plight


Dumb struck and astounded- a gaping fool i all but remain,
Looking at the seraph who belongeth not to the mundane,
The radiance is finally here, no more reason to complain,
Freeing your soul from it's twisted, dark membrane.
Last edited by ahmedBurooj on Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Why can't we have drops of sunshine, and rays of rain?




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Hey there,
So, first off I'd like to say that I don't have anything to nitpick- it all looked pretty good to me.
I really enjoyed this piece; it really makes me think...and it's so deep! The questions at the beginning were gripping- so that was well done, and the rest of your poem followed through excellently.
-Briggsy :)
but the sky is love and i am for you
just so long and long enough
-E.E. Cummings




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I really enjoyed it!
I like the conclusion it came to at the end, it was a very good way to sort of wrap it up.
Can I just say that the line, "in an envelope of pain" really got me. Its very descriptive and almost makes you feel the pain of being trapped in some woven pain. I loved it.
I'd say very good, and of course, very morose. Really gets across a twisted mind. Haha good job!




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I like it! The words form a picture in my head and the lines give me something to think about!I can't nit-pick because you used some word I didn't even know and all the spelling looks right to me. Awesome job!




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Hi there!
First off, I really liked this, it was very deep and, of course, twisted, but you didn't over do it and it is very well written. I usually don't like rhyming poetry, I think you can write just as well with out the rhymes, but in this, it was very good. Great job and keep writing!
So many people treat you like you’re a kid
so you might as well act like one,
and throw your television
out of a hotel window.
–Gerard Way



Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe.
— John Milton (Poet)