The Blues Man

Here is the Blues Man,
sitting on the bench and scrutinizing the world,
holding his guitar with pride,
and pouring his soul into his music.

Here is the Blues Man,
narrating the pain and frustration that led him to succumb;
he is a a poet, a story teller, a song writer.

Here is the Blues Man,
an outcast in such society,
laughing at the ignorance surrounding him,
hoping his soulful music and
truthful words could make a difference.

The Blues Man will live in in each and everyone of us,
until the word equal will not
mean different any more.

I quite like this poem! I liked the message you were trying to bring acroos though I was disappointed when the third stanza did not contain that repeted first line. But that's okay. I like the flow though some lines seemed too long to fit but they only just did. I only realised one slight error:

holding his guitar with proud,

I think here, instead of 'proud' you meant 'pride' because it doesn't seem to make sense.

Keep writing!

Hey there! So I think that there were a couple of things that could be played with in this poem to make it really shine as I'm sure you want it to.

First stuff:
Now, this kind of concept has been played on again and again, through many different people with many different aims and goals and details thrown in. Most of them have a strong tone, in rhythm and diction, that gives the poem the feel of a blues song in itself to reflect how much the "blues man", as you've called him, influences and what kind of tune he carries, the absolute soul of the song he's singing. Unfortunately, you've yet to capture this feel. Where is the smooth rhythm and the nice round diction, the notes flipping off an instrument? Make us feel this. Right now you're stuck telling us what he's doing and how, instead of letting us experience it. Try loosening up a bit; let yourself ramble, if need be, describe in what's it's like rather than how it looks and then cut back what you need to, so that we have the experience, but it's still concise.

Now, onto the second part.
Your message itself is unclear. You need to pump it throughout the entire poem to make it strong and maybe even consider rewording it at the very last bit. Also, think, how does he live inside of us? Is it through his song or his work and what about the people that haven't heard him? You give these vague ideas without developing them or letting us know, and so we're completely unclear as to what's really going on. Make these sharper and make him more concrete in who he is and why he's doing this and how, and the message will be that much stronger.

Last and by far the briefest part:
the grammar in this is atrocious.

I really loved this! It has a kind of mysterious feel to it. Just the name sucked me in. I think you should be just a tad more specific as to why you gave him the name, "The Blues Man". Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I got from this he's sitting on his bench playing soul music on his guitar, and this guitar and the songs he writes and plays are his life, and the lyrics in his songs are very meaningful. That's what I got from the poem, but yet it's one of those poems where you read them a few times and you come up with a couple different idea as to what it could mean. Those poems are often the best in my opinion.

One thing that you could add, possibly, would be maybe one more stanza before the last. To say that The Blues Man lives in each and every one of us is a bit confusing, since before you said something about making a difference. I wouldn't come right out and say what you mean by the connection between equality and difference, but maybe you could just hint at it a bit.

I loved the message you were trying to get across here and I like the way you went about it. However I have to say that, for some reason, it doesn't quite read right. You're stopping and starting in the wrong places and this means that the flow isn't as smooth as it perhaps needs to be. I struggle with the flow and it does just take practice. You really need to sort out the sentence structure and punctuation as well.

The image created here is good but needs developing. It's a good start, keep writing!

Thank you for the comments. I do apologize for the structure of the poem but I wrote it as soon as I had the thought. I will have to definitely look at the last sentence, and I agree that it does not flow well with the rest . The poem was inspired by an old blues song and I understand that for some of you it was unclear, that is because the poem relates to a part of history which not everyone looks at with the same eyes. Thanks again:)