Tainted-Chapter 5

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Finally, I've finished editing another chapter of Tainted! God...this one took ages. Well, I hope people like it and review it. I like feedback and I really like people who actually take the time to review my stuff and not just read it. Lots of views are nice but lots of comments are better.


Chapter 5


This bastard is pissing me off.

Duskin was almost my shadow until dusk fell and the others rose from sleep. Wherever I went in my own house, he was in there a few moments later. Doesn’t he know that I’m just about ready to kill him? Apparently not, as he continued this until Zainah walked into the room fully morphed. I looked at her and almost smiled. “Zainah, did you morph just to scare poor Lia shitless?”

Zainah sat on her striped butt and smiled, showing her giant canines. “Yes,” she said with a gravelling purr. “No one splashes a cat and get away with it, eh Kat?

Every time she said my name she tried to make a joke out of my nickname being the same as her type of Were. “In that case Zainah, I’ll ask you to rip the poor boy in front of me to shreds.” We both smiled but Duskin went as pale as I was. “And Zainah?”

Purr. “Yes?”

I’m going to enjoy this. “You’ve got your claim.”

Her eyes brightened to the point of blinding and she looked at Duskin for a moment. Her deep voice reverberated off the walls as she said, “Hehe, I am so going to have fun with this one.”

I thought he was about to choke on his next breath of air he took it in so fast. He managed to splutter out, “What are you guys talking about?”

I decided to act on his fear. “Zainah’s going to play with you for a little while. Have fun you two.” I got up and left the room as Zainah morphed back and collapsed into a laughing heap on the floor.

I stood in my bedroom listening to her laughter. It was almost cackling by this point. I finally let go of my self-control and fell into a ball on my bed laughing. Nick crawled up from his bed in the basement, saw us laughing, shook his head in disappointment and went into the kitchen to dig around in the pantry.

When our laughter had finally been drained, I went back into the living room to find Zainah turning on her feline charm. I grabbed Kailee and made her watch with me as I leaned against the wall. I looked at Duskin and he sent a ‘help me’ look. I guess he didn’t like cats. Go figure.

Zainah stared at me with her he’s-no-fun look and left the room. Duskin looked a little relieved. I said, “Duskin, apparently you’re no fun to flirt with.” He looked a little startled and I heard Zainah snicker in the kitchen. Kailee was having a lot of trouble holding in her giggles and I heard Nick choke on whatever he happened to be eating. Lia stepped out of the den looking like she just woke up. She had no idea what we were laughing about and made it clear she didn’t want to know by ignoring us and joining the others in the kitchen. Everyone dispersed until Duskin and I were alone again, with me still laughing softly.

“Oh shut up,” he said, sounding cross.

It only made me laugh harder. I felt my eyes change to their rare golden colour. That meant I was feeling pretty good right about now. That didn’t happen often.

Well, this is weird.

The change made me feel a lot happier than normal. And it caught Duskin’s attention. He looked a little surprised at the colour. Golden eyes aren’t exactly the most common in the world, even for vampires. He had that glint in his eyes again; the one that made it feel like he was touching me even from across the room. You’re going to make me hit you if you keep staring at me like that.

I felt someone coming and called out to the household. “Guys?”

I got a response very quickly. “Yeah?”

“Time to prepare for the hunt. And get the door Duskin. Pread’s shipped us his new Vipers, a new crossbow for me and a supply of blood to last Kailee and I a few weeks.” The doorbell rang. He sent me a confused look that I returned magnified. “The door Duskin?” He got up off my couch and I followed him to the door. When he opened it, I saw…No fucking way, Pread.

“Pread! What the hell are you doing here? If you’re only here to nag me for breaking the last crossbow, get the hell outta my house.”

He sighed as if I was missing the point yet again. “Dan said you needed these?” He tapped a giant box with his shoe. I wondered how the skinny kid had gotten it here. “I’m out before you trying to rope me into going with you.” He eyed me suspiciously.

Pread, you can’t fight so why the hell would I bother?

Our light brown haired and eyed boy hadn’t been eating well for a while, or sleeping. The hollows under his eyes were caverns and his body didn’t look like much more than bone. If I asked what was wrong, he’d tell me to go fuck myself. He didn’t like me all that much. My drinking of blood in his presence may have caused that.

“You’re a techie, what the hell are you doing here?” That was me, being my usual charming self.

Pread shrugged but gave me an icy look that chilled my bones. That didn’t happen often. “I was here on other business. Take your guns, I’m leaving.”

He kept his word, we watched his back until he hopped into his van and drove off.

Well, that could have gone better. “What the fuck is his problem?” I growled.

Duskin had nothing to offer so I left him to cart in the box. I glanced in the hallway’s mirror on my way back to the living room; my eyes were brown.

And men say women are hard to figure out.

I plopped onto my couch just as Duskin came in through the doorway. Kai and Zainah returned from the kitchen and stared at the box he was setting down on my coffee table with interest.

I waved my hand and he tore the cardboard box.

Oh, that may be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

The Vipers were an iridescent black. The reflected light off them was even a midnight blue. The barrels were shorter, more suited for street fighting. I even saw, maybe there is a God, corner shots.

Now, a corner shot is technically military only. But since Pread developed his own design, our department gets a whole bunch of fun toys.

A corner shot is for, easy to guess, shooting around corners. It’s a giant and bulky housing for a pistol. So, while my guys get to crouch behind cover, we can bend this thing around a corner and shoot at whatever we want. Comes with its own little camera so the shooter can see everything. I wanted to drool. Badly.

“Close that mouth of yours Kitty before your jaw falls off,” Zainah said with a little smile. She sidled up next to me, checking out the box’s treasures for herself. “Damn, no wonder. A corner shot? What did they have to pay Pread to get him to hand these over?” Her eyes were gleaming like an animal.

Kailee shifted against the wall and I caught a glimpse of silver. Her hunting knife, clipped tight to the waistband of her jeans. She was ready to go out so the rest of us should hurry up. I tossed her a Viper and reluctantly left the corner shots alone; those were for the humans. After loading in the cartridge and checking the safety, I felt pretty good. Badass and ready to blow a Taint’s head off.

“Let’s go fuck up someone’s night.”
Who's ever name is written in this note shall die.
My allegiance is to L, the world's greatest detective.
But my twisted mind enjoys Kira's exploits.




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I think you overused the use of profanity in this piece. As I have learnt, you can't base the whole story around f bombs. I will admit, the opening line was appropriate, but I don't think the last line should be there. It was humourous, and I am sorry if that made you confused, but I did it funny. It probably wasn't your intention but it's just funny. I don't know- it just was. That's why I think you should do what I am doing for my novel: as it goes on reduce the use of profanity. Of course it is going to be necessary for some parts, but not every 3 paragraphs. I hope to see an improvement. Sorry if I seemed blunt- I'm just trying to help out the best I can.



Mudwesterner
— BlueAfrica