The lesson of the TP

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1431
Reviews 8
By: (pen Name) Oliver B.Hogg III

I have a fancy squiggly stick
Inside my bathroom stall.
On the stick reside the best,
My T.P. standing tall.

Standing up, straight and proud
In a column made of six.
The evils of procrastination
Got me in this awful fix.

I started out without a care,
And 6 rolls on the stick.
And from then on, before I knew,
The clock began to tick.

Then it came, the number 5
Though I didn’t feel the heat.
I didn’t care, as long as there,
Was T.P. for my seat.

At 4 I felt the same old lull,
And the comfort of its splendor.
So much was my easy life,
I failed to seek a vendor.

By 3 I knew that it was time,
To go shopping at the store.
But couldn’t for the pains of standing,
And walking out the door.

With 2 came the urge, the need,
Of a little extra push.
But why do I care, as long as there
Is T.P. for my tush.

At 1 I lost the want I had
To go and buy some more.
So with 0 now I had forgot,
To visit the local store.

“The T.P.‘s gone!” I yelled,
“We need to buy some more.”
So into our little car I hopped
To visit the local store.

While in the line, I saw a sign,
It read buy one get one free.
For odds and ends, and easy Mac,
And yes, double plush T.P.

The moral of this story is,
As I’m sure that you can see.
Whenever it is you get the chance,
Buy one, get one free.
peace be the journey




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1002
Reviews 7
This is really funny. I like it a lot. You could turn this into a full story. Your mechanics are perfect, unless I missed something. It's realistic in a sad sort of way. I thought the ending really summed it up.

Good work,
Keren




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1130
Reviews 152
gosh I loved it!! It was so funny and lively.. See i loved it so much that I even forgot to say hi to you... Hi!!! your poem was nicely written and the rhyme went along nicely too (something I find very very hard to do). The flow was smooth and it went on with a fluidity I loved!! Very well written!! Best of luck for whatever else you write!!
Harshita:)
The answers lie within.. You only need to look.. :)




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 2647
Reviews 313
Bahahaha, I absolutely loved this! Its like something I could have read out of Where The Sidewalk Ends, extremely cute and just extremely funny =]

The flow was great, I saw a few instances here and there that were literally a second off, but other than that, its absolutely flawless.

The way you told the story was just amazing, how you told us what happened as each roll dissapeared, but the moral of the story was the best. It was just adorable =] Really well done.
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)



Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
— Charles Mingus