Sometimes, chapter Nine

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Hey again! I'm really starting to enjoy writing this story, so it really will mean the world to me to hear what you think of this chapter. I want to know whether the plot is progressing enough, or if it's moving too slowly.

As for what happened in the last chapter - Cassie took Harriet clubbing, Brandon was wearing some revealing shorts, and Harriet and Sonny had a moment in the cloakroom. Enjoy!


I hobbled into class on Friday morning. My feet felt like they were on fire and I blamed the fact that Cassie had made me wear heels last night.

It had been agony walking to the bus stop to catch the night bus back to Cassie’s house. We’d been stopped numerous times by drunken fools trying to get us involved in their gibberish filled conversations. I’d humoured them at first, but when the third group of guys had stopped us and I’d spotted one of them staring unabashedly at my chest, I’d decided enough was enough. I’d dragged Cassie the rest of the way to the bus shelter, my ankles throbbing and my ears buzzing from the music that still seemed to be thumping in my head. I’d practically collapsed onto Cassie’s bed when we’d gotten back.

I tried to distract those looking at me, from the way I was walking, by waving enthusiastically to Lara. She smiled back and I sighed in relief as I fell into my seat. Aiden appeared next to me within seconds.

“You look knackered,” he said, dropping his bag onto our shared desk with a thud. “Were you up studying all night?”

“Ha-ha,” I replied dryly.

“It must have been an important essay for you to have stayed up past a suitable bed time.” He laughed at his own insult and I rolled my eyes.

“If you must know, I went out last night and I didn’t get back until one in the morning.”

Aiden slapped a hand over his mouth and widened his eyes at me. I wondered at their fascinating colour before pouting at him.

“I didn’t know the library stayed open that late,” he said.

I huffed to myself before setting out my notebook and pen.

“Do you have to have some sort of secret membership card to get in? Or do you have your own key?” He was watching me out of the corner of his eye as he unpacked his bag.

I turned to him with a look of satisfaction, ignoring the pain in my feet. “Actually, I went to The Rooster with Cassie,” I said.

The shock on Aiden’s face was real this time as he raised his blonde eyebrows at me. “You’re messing with me!” he exclaimed, regaining control of his expression. “You don’t know how to party.”

The sudden need to gloat overwhelmed me and I was glad that Mr. Lloyd hadn’t started class yet; I wanted to tell Aiden everything. “If you don’t believe me, ask Sonny. He was there,” I said, with a sideways glance at him.

He shook his head. “Nah. You’re lying.”

“Text him,” I insisted, nodding to where his phone was sticking out of his jeans pocket. “I dare you.”

Aiden cocked an eyebrow at me. “You actually went to The Rooster?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“Well, what brought that on?” he asked.

“A certain someone said I didn’t know how to have fun.” I raised my eyebrows at him pointedly and smiled. “That showed you.”

He leaned back in his chair and tucked his hands behind his head. His arms looked bright white against his black t-shirt and I noted that he definitely didn’t have a tan like Sonny. My thoughts flickered back to last night and I couldn’t help beaming.

“I guess you do know how to have fun then.” Aiden sounded pleased. “Although you do know that going out to a club once, doesn’t make you a party animal.”

“Well, duh,” I replied. “I’d still rather read a book than be holed up in a room with too loud music and a bunch of sweaty people.”

“Knew it.” Aiden smirked. “I bet you can’t keep up this new, fun Harriet.”

I tapped my pen on my lip. “Oh yeah?”

“You’ll be back to being a nerd within a day.”

Before I could stop myself, my fingers were pinching his arm.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and sat back up straight. “What was that for?”

A little shocked at my actions, I shrugged. “For calling me a nerd.”

“Okay, maybe I was a little harsh.”

I smiled when I spotted him rubbing the spot where I’d pinched him.

“Alright then. If you want to prove me wrong, come to the cinema with me tonight.” He scratched his jaw. “I mean, the whole band’s going to see the new action film. They won’t mind you coming. Leanne’s always saying how you two get on like a house on fire. And Sonny will be there.” He said the last part with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. “You won’t be happy until I visit the cinema, will you?”

He laughed. “I’m just trying to help you with the whole Sonny situation. The fact that the cinema is the setting is just a coincidence.”

Mr Lloyd chose that moment to start the lesson and I had to wait fifteen minutes until I could continue my conversation with Aiden.

“Well?” he asked, once I’d finished writing the aims of the lesson into my notebook.

I bit my lip and looked out of the window, as if it would help me make a decision. “Alright then. As long as you don’t think anyone will mind.”

“Course they won’t. You’re cool.”

I turned back to face him and smiled.

“The only thing is, the film starts at nine so you might not be home until midnight.” He pulled a face at me and laughed. “Is that too late?”

I smirked and purposely knocked his pen to the floor. “It’s alright, I stay up later on Fridays. There’s no college on the weekends so I don’t have to worry about getting all of my work done.”

This earned me another laugh from Aiden. “That’s alright then. We can’t have you falling asleep halfway through the film because you’re not used to staying up.”

“I got in at one this morning, remember?”

“And I didn’t get back from Roz and Warren’s until two. You don’t see me complaining,” he said.

I picked my pen back up and set to work on today’s assignment. “Is that why you look like you haven’t slept in a week?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

I looked up to see him trying to look annoyed. “Yes?”

“Have you looked in a mirror today?” he asked. “You don’t exactly look as fresh as a daisy.”

“As fresh as a daisy?”

“Yeah.” He scribbled something messily on his paper and I guessed it was supposed to be the first bullet point that Mr. Lloyd had written on the board for us to copy down. “It’s something my mum always says.” He tutted. “Old people.”

I rolled my eyes. “I got three hours sleep last night. You can’t expect me to look like a supermodel.”

He raised an eyebrow at me quickly before glancing behind. “Lara’s always going out to town and she looks pretty hot.”

“Yeah, well I’m not Lara.” I pressed down unnecessarily hard while writing the beginning of my essay.

There was silence as Aiden finally seemed to set to work and I managed to almost write half of my assignment before I felt him tap my shoulder with the chewed tip of his pen.

“What?” I asked. I sounded strangely harsh and I hurried to correct that. “I mean…”

“I was just gonna ask you if you fancied sharing the details on what happened last night.” He was grinning at me and I couldn’t resist smiling back. Mostly out of glee at the thought of rubbing in the fact that Sonny had finally seemed to look at me last night.

“Well, if you insist,” I replied.

***

“You do know you’re working the nine to three shift tomorrow, don’t you?” Leanne asked as she shimmed into a pair of impossibly tight jeans. She yanked at the zip before turning to look at me.

I narrowed my eyes.

“Alright! No need to give me evils.” She laughed. “It’s just that you don’t usually go out anywhere if you’ve got to be up early.”

“I know,” I replied. “Maybe it’s time I started letting go more often.” I suddenly remembered something both Aiden and Cassie had said. “Live it up a bit. You know.”

She laughed again and fixed her hazel eyes on me. “Going to see a late-ish screening of a film, doesn’t make you hardcore.”

“I don’t want to be hardcore,” I insisted. “I just want to be more fun.”

In fact, I saw going to the cinema tonight as killing two birds with one stone. I got to show Sonny how fun I was, and prove Aiden wrong. Not that I cared what Aiden thought anyway.

***

I glared enviously at Leanne’s back as I followed her out to her car. She’d parked it at the end of the driveway and each time my feet crunched on the gravel, the voice in my head whined at how unfair life was. I loved Leanne, but why did she always have to look perfect? I just couldn’t understand how she could look so stylish in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I noticed she had her leather jacket draped over her arm as she came to a halt at the drivers-side door and I frowned down at my plain jeans and trainers in disgust.

“Why do you always look so good?” I asked her once I’d clicked my seatbelt into place.

She stuck the key in the ignition and shrugged.

“I’m going to look like a boring person next to your friends,” I announced, sinking in my seat a little.

“A boring person?” Leanne looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “Harri, we’re going to the cinema. It’s going to be dark inside. Who cares what you look like?”

“I care!”

Leanne rested her hands on top the steering wheel and sighed. “Why?”

“Because… ‘cause I do,” I stammered, unsure how to express my feelings without actually saying, ‘Because I fancy your best friend and I want him to like me and he won’t like me if I look like a boring, serious, child.’ Yeah, that would go down well.

Leanne was looking at me with a strange expression and for one heart-stopping moment, I thought she’d cottoned on. My heart leapt to my throat and I found myself reaching for the car stereo. I jabbed at a couple of buttons and a song full of angry guitars burst out of the speakers. Leanne winced and turned the volume down.

“Harri.” She looked uncomfortable, almost like she didn’t know how to phrase what she was about to say. I held my breath. “You know I’m crap with emotions and stuff. But honestly, you look great.”

I smiled, both in relief and gratitude. “Thanks.”

She lifted a hand off of the radio controls and awkwardly patted me on the arm before coughing, almost to break the silence. “So, can we go now?”

“Okay. Just as long as you buy me popcorn.”

***

Leanne didn’t have to bother forking out four pounds for a carton of popcorn. We got there late, thanks to my moment of insanity about my choice of outfit, and Sonny had already treated everyone to snacks and drinks.

“I assume you like popcorn,” Sonny said. He passed me my carton and my fingers brushed his as I took the cardboard container from him. A pleasant tingle shot its way up my arm.

I nodded quickly and prayed that he couldn’t see the blush creeping its way onto my face. But who was I kidding? The fluorescent lights in the foyer were probably helping to make my red face even more visible.

I offered him a smile when I caught him still looking at me, before hastily turning so I could pretend to study the new release posters.

“Smooth,” Aiden whispered and I turned to glare at him. He was standing next to me, also pretending to be looking at the poster for the latest horror film. “You would have thought he’d only bought you some popcorn by the smile on your face.”

I narrowed my eyes even further. “It doesn’t hurt to dream,” I muttered.

“Shut up!” Aiden said. “I don’t wanna hear your fantasies.”

I cocked an eyebrow and turned to face him, no longer concerned in feigning interest in the posters. Besides, Sonny was talking to Leanne now. I could hear them behind me. “Really? Well, I had to hear how hot you think Lara is.”
I watched with satisfaction as the tops of Aiden’s ears tinged pink.

“You actually care that I said that?” he asked, looking perplexed.

I shook my head and cursed mentally when my fringe fell into my eyes. “No.” I brushed my hair back. “It’s just that I had to listen.”

Aiden looked like he was about to say something when I heard Sonny speak up.

“Guys, we’re going to the screen now,” he said.

I spun round to see him looking at both me and Aiden and I noticed that Leanne, Roz and Warren were already showing their tickets to the attendant.

“Okie dokie,” Aiden replied.

Sonny nodded before turning to catch the others up. He rested his hand on Leanne’s shoulder when he reached her and I felt a twinge of jealousy at how close they were.

“Are you gonna try and get a seat next to him?”

Aiden’s voice caught my attention and I prayed he hadn’t seen the envious look I’d just been wearing. I realised I was in the clear when I spotted him reading his ticket.

“Should I?” I asked. I chewed on some popcorn and swallowed slowly, waiting for Aiden to reply. He was looking over at the refreshments counter now.

“Go for it,” he replied. He sounded preoccupied and as he turned back to me, I noticed a questioning look on his face. “Is that Brandon over there?” he asked, pointing with his ticket over to a group of guys standing by the pick a mix section.

My heart jumped to my throat and I followed the direction in which he was pointing, all the while praying that he was wrong, only to realise that he was right. Brandon was standing with three guys, gazing over at the door, and I found myself shuffling ever closer to Aiden.

Aiden laughed. “I wondered why you always ran past his desk.”

“What’s that supposed to…” The look on Aiden’s face stopped me mid-sentence and I understood that he knew. “I don’t run,” I said finally.

“Do too!” He laughed. “You should go and talk to him.”

I screwed my eyes shut before opening them and shaking my head at him. “You’re supposed to be helping me with Sonny. Remember? Not Brandon.” I grimaced. “Besides, I’ve been hiding behind you and he hasn’t seen me.”

“So?” Aiden said. “All I have to do is shout his name.”

I frowned. “Don’t.”

“Okay, okay. Just give the lady your ticket and you can carry on hiding in the screen.”

It was then that I noticed we’d come to a halt beside a lady dressed in the cinema’s uniform. She was smiling at me patiently and I rushed to retrieve my ticket from my pocket. I handed it over, keeping one eye on Brandon as he moved to the other side of the cinema.

“Enjoy the film,” the lady said.

I nodded and hurried to catch Aiden up. He was waiting by a peeling wooden door that I guessed led into the screen we were looking for.

The cinema hadn’t changed since my last visit. It was still drably decorated and still impossible to see where you were going in the dimly lit room.

Aiden laughed quietly at my mumblings. “No-one cares about the dirty carpet or the peeling doors,” he said. “They’re here to the see the film, not rate the décor out of ten. Besides, it’s supposed to be dark.”

I stumbled into my seat and instantly felt my skin start to itch against the rough fabric of the chair. This is exactly why I wait until films come out on DVD. I can sit in a comfy chair instead of a seat that will scratch my skin to pieces for the next two hours.

I was about to turn off my phone after being prompted by an advert on the screen, when I felt Aiden tap my shoulder.

“Swap seats with me,” he said.

“Why?” I asked. “I’m comfortable now.” Yeah, right. I just couldn’t be bothered to move.

“Just swap,” he said.

Not knowing why, or really caring why Aiden was being so persistent, I got up and shuffled into the seat to my right, allowing him to take my old seat.

I huffed under my breath and resumed turning my phone off. I dropped it into my bag before picking my carton of popcorn back up. It tasted too salty, but I ate a few mouthfuls anyway to pass the time.

“I heard that this film is supposed to be great. Loads of action and stuff.”

Oh my God. The sound of Sonny’s voice made me shiver in delight and I turned to see him sitting in the seat next to me. I could just make out the features of his face in the dim light and I smiled back at him, muttering something that I hoped sounded intelligent.

Aiden had swapped seats with me to be nice. He was trying to help me. I turned towards Aiden and leaned in close. I could smell his cologne as I whispered a thanks into his ear so only he could hear. I thought I saw him smile just before the room got even darker. I leaned back into my chair and fixed my eyes on the screen to watch the trailers. I recognised one of them from the poster I’d been feigning an interest in but I couldn’t keep my focus on the screen for long. I was too excited. My mind kept wondering into a fantasy world where me and Sonny we here alone, on a date.

I felt my seat wobble as he moved and I could smell his cologne wafting through the air now. It was more pungent than Aiden’s. I smiled as the butterflies in my stomach went crazy and I kept reminding myself to try and watch the film so I could maybe talk to Sonny about it after. But it was almost impossible. Every time he moved, my breath would catch in my throat and I couldn’t deny the way that brain was pleading with him to rest his hand on mine.
'Stop wishing for the sunshine. Start living in the rain.' - Kids In Glass Houses.

'Would you destroy something perfect in order to make it beautiful?' - MCR artwork.




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Hello Dudette, I'm here once again. :)

First off, I love the summary of the last chapter. I laughed when I read it. ;)
I smiled when I spotted him rubbing the spot where I%u2019d pinched him.

It's a little bit repetitive with the two 'spot'... Maybe try 'noticed' instead of 'spotted'.

Overall the story is coming along great. Yes, it seems a little bit slow moving, because we don't really have a conflict... Or at least not a big one besides the fact that H wants to be fun. But apart from that it's good. :)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466




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I hobbled into class on Friday morning. My feet felt like they were on fire and I blamed the fact that Cassie had made me wear heels last night. I thought this was really cool, it was a great way to open this chapter, 1 because it kind of jogs the readers memory and it adds great sensory images

It had been agony walking to the bus stop to catch the night bus back to Cassie’s house.
We’d been stopped numerous times by drunken fools trying to get us involved in their gibberish filled conversations.
I laughed at this line, it's really well writter, and made me smile I’d humoured them at first, but when the third group of guys had stopped us and I’d spotted one of them staring unabashedly at my chest, I’d decided enough was enough. I’d dragged Cassie the rest of the way to the bus shelter, my ankles throbbing and my ears buzzing from the music that still seemed to be thumping in my head. I’d practically collapsed onto Cassie’s bed when we’d gotten back.

I tried to distract those looking at me, from the way I was walking, by waving enthusiastically to Lara. She smiled back and I sighed in relief as I fell into my seat. Aiden appeared next to me within seconds.

“You look knackered,” he said, dropping his bag onto our shared desk with a thud. “Were you up studying all night?” knackered :D what does that mean? it sounds cool anyway though!

“Ha-ha,” I replied dryly. With this line, it felt really real. Like I could hear it in my head

“It must have been an important essay for you to have stayed up past a suitable bed time.” He laughed at his own insult and I rolled my eyes.

“If you must know, I went out last night and I didn’t get back until one in the morning.”

Aiden slapped a hand over his mouth and widened his eyes at me. I wondered at their fascinating colour before pouting at him.

“I didn’t know the library stayed open that late,” he said.

I huffed to myself before setting out my notebook and pen.

“Do you have to have some sort of secret membership card to get in? Or do you have your own key?” He was watching me out of the corner of his eye as he unpacked his bag. This line was probably my favorite in the whole chapter : )

I turned to him with a look of satisfaction, ignoring the pain in my feet. “Actually, I went to The Rooster with Cassie,” I said.

The shock on Aiden’s face was real this time as he raised his blonde eyebrows at me. “You’re messing with me!” he exclaimed, regaining control of his expression. “You don’t know how to party.” I liked this line, and just the little bit of description really added to this.

The sudden need to gloat overwhelmed me and I was glad that Mr. Lloyd hadn’t started class yet; I wanted to tell Aiden everything. “If you don’t believe me, ask Sonny. He was there,” I said, with a sideways glance at him.

He shook his head. “Nah. You’re lying.” haa, I liked this

“Text him,” I insisted, nodding to where his phone was sticking out of his jeans pocket. “I dare you.”

Aiden cocked an eyebrow at me. “You actually went to The Rooster?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“Well, what brought that on?” he asked.

“A certain someone said I didn’t know how to have fun.” I raised my eyebrows at him pointedly and smiled. “That showed you.”

He leaned back in his chair and tucked his hands behind his head. His arms looked bright white against his black t-shirt and I noted that he definitely didn’t have a tan like Sonny. My thoughts flickered back to last night and I couldn’t help beaming. I liked this line, and how she was comparing him to Sonny, even though I kind of like Aiden more : )

“I guess you do know how to have fun then.” Aiden sounded pleased. “Although you do know that going out to a club once, doesn’t make you a party animal.”

“Well, duh,” I replied. “I’d still rather read a book than be holed up in a room with too loud music and a bunch of sweaty people.”

“Knew it.” Aiden smirked. “I bet you can’t keep up this new, fun Harriet.”

I tapped my pen on my lip. “Oh yeah?”

“You’ll be back to being a nerd within a day.”

Before I could stop myself, my fingers were pinching his arm. I don't know if this was meant to be like this, but it kind of seems like a flirt? Maybe : ) one can hope!

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and sat back up straight. “What was that for?”

A little shocked at my actions, I shrugged. “For calling me a nerd.” Such a simple line can add so much

“Okay, maybe I was a little harsh.”

I smiled when I spotted him rubbing the spot where I’d pinched him.

“Alright then. If you want to prove me wrong, come to the cinema with me tonight.” He scratched his jaw. “I mean, the whole band’s going to see the new action film. They won’t mind you coming. Leanne’s always saying how you two get on like a house on fire. And Sonny will be there.” He said the last part with a wink. alright I feel line this is a cute. Like or maybe it's Aidens way of saying he is helping her, but really he just likes being with her! Or that's what I hoped. :D

I rolled my eyes. “You won’t be happy until I visit the cinema, will you?”

He laughed. “I’m just trying to help you with the whole Sonny situation. The fact that the cinema is the setting is just a coincidence.”

Mr Lloyd chose that moment to start the lesson and I had to wait fifteen minutes until I could continue my conversation with Aiden.

“Well?” he asked, once I’d finished writing the aims of the lesson into my notebook.

I bit my lip and looked out of the window, as if it would help me make a decision. “Alright then. As long as you don’t think anyone will mind.”

“Course they won’t. You’re cool.”

I turned back to face him and smiled.

“The only thing is, the film starts at nine so you might not be home until midnight.” He pulled a face at me and laughed. “Is that too late?”

I smirked and purposely knocked his pen to the floor. “It’s alright, I stay up later on Fridays. There’s no college on the weekends so I don’t have to worry about getting all of my work done.”

This earned me another laugh from Aiden. “That’s alright then. We can’t have you falling asleep halfway through the film because you’re not used to staying up.”

“I got in at one this morning, remember?”

“And I didn’t get back from Roz and Warren’s until two. You don’t see me complaining,” he said.

I picked my pen back up and set to work on today’s assignment. “Is that why you look like you haven’t slept in a week?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

I looked up to see him trying to look annoyed. “Yes?”

“Have you looked in a mirror today?” he asked. “You don’t exactly look as fresh as a daisy.”

“As fresh as a daisy?”

“Yeah.” He scribbled something messily on his paper and I guessed it was supposed to be the first bullet point that Mr. Lloyd had written on the board for us to copy down. “It’s something my mum always says.” He tutted. “Old people.”

I rolled my eyes. “I got three hours sleep last night. You can’t expect me to look like a supermodel.”

He raised an eyebrow at me quickly before glancing behind. “Lara’s always going out to town and she looks pretty hot.” I got sad here, I was like NOOOO!!! DON'T LIKE HER! LIKE HARRIET! haa :D

“Yeah, well I’m not Lara.” I pressed down unnecessarily hard while writing the beginning of my essay.

There was silence as Aiden finally seemed to set to work and I managed to almost write half of my assignment before I felt him tap my shoulder with the chewed tip of his pen.

“What?” I asked. I sounded strangely harsh and I hurried to correct that. “I mean…”

“I was just gonna ask you if you fancied sharing the details on what happened last night.” He was grinning at me and I couldn’t resist smiling back. Mostly out of glee at the thought of rubbing in the fact that Sonny had finally seemed to look at me last night.

“Well, if you insist,” I replied.

***

“You do know you’re working the nine to three shift tomorrow, don’t you?” Leanne asked as she shimmed into a pair of impossibly tight jeans. She yanked at the zip before turning to look at me.

I narrowed my eyes.

“Alright! No need to give me evils.” She laughed. “It’s just that you don’t usually go out anywhere if you’ve got to be up early.”

“I know,” I replied. “Maybe it’s time I started letting go more often.” I suddenly remembered something both Aiden and Cassie had said. “Live it up a bit. You know.”

She laughed again and fixed her hazel eyes on me. “Going to see a late-ish screening of a film, doesn’t make you hardcore.”

“I don’t want to be hardcore,” I insisted. “I just want to be more fun.”

In fact, I saw going to the cinema tonight as killing two birds with one stone. I got to show Sonny how fun I was, and prove Aiden wrong. Not that I cared what Aiden thought anyway. or does she?! :D

***

I glared enviously at Leanne’s back as I followed her out to her car. She’d parked it at the end of the driveway and each time my feet crunched on the gravel, the voice in my head whined at how unfair life was. I loved Leanne, but why did she always have to look perfect? I just couldn’t understand how she could look so stylish in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I noticed she had her leather jacket draped over her arm as she came to a halt at the drivers-side door and I frowned down at my plain jeans and trainers in disgust.

“Why do you always look so good?” I asked her once I’d clicked my seatbelt into place.

She stuck the key in the ignition and shrugged.

“I’m going to look like a boring person next to your friends,” I announced, sinking in my seat a little.

“A boring person?” Leanne looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “Harri, we’re going to the cinema. It’s going to be dark inside. Who cares what you look like?”

“I care!”

Leanne rested her hands on top the steering wheel and sighed. “Why?”

“Because… ‘cause I do,” I stammered, unsure how to express my feelings without actually saying, ‘Because I fancy your best friend and I want him to like me and he won’t like me if I look like a boring, serious, child.’ Yeah, that would go down well.

Leanne was looking at me with a strange expression and for one heart-stopping moment, I thought she’d cottoned on. My heart leapt to my throat and I found myself reaching for the car stereo. I jabbed at a couple of buttons and a song full of angry guitars burst out of the speakers. Leanne winced and turned the volume down.

“Harri.” She looked uncomfortable, almost like she didn’t know how to phrase what she was about to say. I held my breath. “You know I’m crap with emotions and stuff. But honestly, you look great.”

I smiled, both in relief and gratitude. “Thanks.”

She lifted a hand off of the radio controls and awkwardly patted me on the arm before coughing, almost to break the silence. “So, can we go now?”

“Okay. Just as long as you buy me popcorn.”



***

Leanne didn’t have to bother forking out four pounds for a carton of popcorn. We got there late, thanks to my moment of insanity about my choice of outfit, and Sonny had already treated everyone to snacks and drinks.

“I assume you like popcorn,” Sonny said. He passed me my carton and my fingers brushed his as I took the cardboard container from him. A pleasant tingle shot its way up my arm. I like the line about the pleasant tingle, it's great writing.

I nodded quickly and prayed that he couldn’t see the blush creeping its way onto my face. But who was I kidding? The fluorescent lights in the foyer were probably helping to make my red face even more visible. I like the displaying of emotion and thought in this line! :D

I offered him a smile when I caught him still looking at me, before hastily turning so I could pretend to study the new release posters. I liked this, the use of verbs was cool!

“Smooth,” Aiden whispered and I turned to glare at him. He was standing next to me, also pretending to be looking at the poster for the latest horror film. “You would have thought he’d only bought you some popcorn by the smile on your face.”

I narrowed my eyes even further. “It doesn’t hurt to dream,” I muttered.

“Shut up!” Aiden said. “I don’t wanna hear your fantasies.” Because he likes here?!?! :D I wishhh :(

I cocked an eyebrow and turned to face him, no longer concerned in feigning interest in the posters. Besides, Sonny was talking to Leanne now. I could hear them behind me. “Really? Well, I had to hear how hot you think Lara is.”

I watched with satisfaction as the tops of Aiden’s ears tinged pink.

“You actually care that I said that?” he asked, looking perplexed. I like perplexed, and I like his questioning, in what chapter did you describe what Aiden looked like?

I shook my head and cursed mentally when my fringe fell into my eyes. “No.” I brushed my hair back. “It’s just that I had to listen.” she cursed mentally? :D I liked that line.

Aiden looked like he was about to say something when I heard Sonny speak up.

“Guys, we’re going to the screen now,” he said.

I spun round to see him looking at both me and Aiden and I noticed that Leanne, Roz and Warren were already showing their tickets to the attendant.

“Okie dokie,” Aiden replied.

Sonny nodded before turning to catch the others up. He rested his hand on Leanne’s shoulder when he reached her and I felt a twinge of jealousy at how close they were.

“Are you gonna try and get a seat next to him?”

Aiden’s voice caught my attention and I prayed he hadn’t seen the envious look I’d just been wearing. I realised I was in the clear when I spotted him reading his ticket.

“Should I?” I asked. I chewed on some popcorn and swallowed slowly, waiting for Aiden to reply. He was looking over at the refreshments counter now.

“Go for it,” he replied. He sounded preoccupied and as he turned back to me, I noticed a questioning look on his face. “Is that Brandon over there?” he asked, pointing with his ticket over to a group of guys standing by the pick a mix section.

My heart jumped to my throat and I followed the direction in which he was pointing, all the while praying that he was wrong, only to realise that he was right. Brandon was standing with three guys, gazing over at the door, and I found myself shuffling ever closer to Aiden.

Aiden laughed. “I wondered why you always ran past his desk.”

“What’s that supposed to…” The look on Aiden’s face stopped me mid-sentence and I understood that he knew. “I don’t run,” I said finally.

“Do too!” He laughed. “You should go and talk to him.”

I screwed my eyes shut before opening them and shaking my head at him. “You’re supposed to be helping me with Sonny. Remember? Not Brandon.” I grimaced. “Besides, I’ve been hiding behind you and he hasn’t seen me.”

“So?” Aiden said. “All I have to do is shout his name.”

I frowned. “Don’t.”

“Okay, okay. Just give the lady your ticket and you can carry on hiding in the screen.”

It was then that I noticed we’d come to a halt beside a lady dressed in the cinema’s uniform. She was smiling at me patiently and I rushed to retrieve my ticket from my pocket. I handed it over, keeping one eye on Brandon as he moved to the other side of the cinema.

“Enjoy the film,” the lady said.

I nodded and hurried to catch Aiden up. He was waiting by a peeling wooden door that I guessed led into the screen we were looking for.

The cinema hadn’t changed since my last visit. It was still drably decorated and still impossible to see where you were going in the dimly lit room.

Aiden laughed quietly at my mumblings. “No-one cares about the dirty carpet or the peeling doors,” he said. “They’re here to the see the film, not rate the décor out of ten. Besides, it’s supposed to be dark.”

I stumbled into my seat and instantly felt my skin start to itch against the rough fabric of the chair. This is exactly why I wait until films come out on DVD. I can sit in a comfy chair instead of a seat that will scratch my skin to pieces for the next two hours.

I was about to turn off my phone after being prompted by an advert on the screen, when I felt Aiden tap my shoulder.

“Swap seats with me,” he said.

“Why?” I asked. “I’m comfortable now.” Yeah, right. I just couldn’t be bothered to move.

“Just swap,” he said.

Not knowing why, or really caring why Aiden was being so persistent, I got up and shuffled into the seat to my right, allowing him to take my old seat.

I huffed under my breath and resumed turning my phone off. I dropped it into my bag before picking my carton of popcorn back up. It tasted too salty, but I ate a few mouthfuls anyway to pass the time.

“I heard that this film is supposed to be great. Loads of action and stuff.”

Oh my God. The sound of Sonny’s voice made me shiver in delight and I turned to see him sitting in the seat next to me. I could just make out the features of his face in the dim light and I smiled back at him, muttering something that I hoped sounded intelligent. I liked this line, becasue it seemed like she was just honestly suprised.

Aiden had swapped seats with me to be nice. He was trying to help me. I turned towards Aiden and leaned in close. I could smell his cologne as I whispered a thanks into his ear so only he could hear. I thought I saw him smile just before the room got even darker. I leaned back into my chair and fixed my eyes on the screen to watch the trailers. I recognised one of them from the poster I’d been feigning an interest in but I couldn’t keep my focus on the screen for long. I was too excited. My mind kept wondering into a fantasy world where me and Sonny we here alone, on a date.

I felt my seat wobble as he moved and I could smell his cologne wafting through the air now. It was more pungent than Aiden’s. I smiled as the butterflies in my stomach went crazy and I kept reminding myself to try and watch the film so I could maybe talk to Sonny about it after. But it was almost impossible. Every time he moved, my breath would catch in my throat and I couldn’t deny the way that brain was pleading with him to rest his hand on mine.for a second I thought he did but then I re-read it.




Okay, well to be honest. I really really love this story. And I like how she is branching out and partying and trying to be more fun. And I realllyy reaallly reeaalllyy love the growing relationship between Harriet an Aiden :D

I really can't wait until you write more! Please, please, let me know when you put more on! :D
--Kayla!
The closest friends are the ones you'd take a bullet for, but they're the ones you constantly feel you could put a bullet in as well<33--Alex Gaskarth

"So take my life I'll had it to you, you can try on these clothes but you can't fill these shoes,"-- Poison-All Time Low




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Yo! :P

Okay, so after reading this, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be useless, but hey, that's me for you. I really am loving this story now, so that makes it even harder to find any faults. Although it was a bit of a slow start, this is coming along at a nice speed now. Your characters are great, duh, and you know how much I love characterisation, so I'm really happy about that. Your grammar's great, and I love knowing that I am one of the few people who understand some of the British words you use in this!

Like you asked, I'm going to talk about how the plot is progressing/has progress so far. Like I said above, I will admit that things seemed a bit slow at the beginning. A couple of things happened in the first few chapters that weren't really a huge deal and such, but I can confidently say that the plot is progressing wonderfully now. We're finally getting into the story, and I can happily say what the plot of the novel is so far now. You could easily make the plot go faster if you wanted to, but because you're dealing with relationships, I definitely don't think you need to because it's needs to be believable. Basically, I think the pace of the novel so far is great. :)

The only critique I have when it comes to the pace and such would have to be about the beginning. It's not that it was annoyingly slow or anything, but now that we've reached this point, I can see that some of what you had at the beginning wasn't entirely necessarily, methinks. Don't get me wrong because you do need parts in a novel that aren't crucial to the plot, but you have to make sure that there isn't too much of them. This will probably be easier when you've finished the novel, but I think that you should go back to the beginning at some point, then see if you can find any parts you feel like you could maybe shorten or get rid of. That way, we can get into the plot quicker, you know?

That's obviously just my personal opinion though, so you don't have to agree with that or anything. Besides, I can't exactly say much... I mean, look at the length of my novel so far. xD I would suggest for you to maybe think about what I've said though, and go from there. In general though, I think the plot is moving at a wonderful pace, just with a few hiccups here and there. ;)

I think that's it... x3 I really loved this chapter, and I know I say this every time you write a new one, but this chapter has to be my favourite now. I love how you're progressing Aiden's character as well as his relationship with Harriet, plus I love Aiden's name, but that's beside the point. Basically, an awesome job, so far, and I'm sorry I couldn't be much help here.

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.




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Hey there Anna!

Aiden slapped a hand over his mouth and widened his eyes at me. I wondered at their fascinating colour before pouting at him.
Ok, this part slightly bothered me. I can rarely accuse you of doing much more telling than showing, but these are one of those times. What is it about his eyes that suddenly fascinated her? Why so suddenly is she noticing them, and in fact, what colour are they?

The other part I want to mention is when she heads to the seats. Her thoughts had been to sit beside Sonny, but when she walks into the room, the thought disappears until Aiden moves her and makes her sit beside him. If it were me, I'd be shoving people out of the way. So, maybe SHE was pushed out of the way, maybe you could mention that?

Other than that, I loved this chapter, and absolutely love Aiden. Harriet is becoming more and more fun now, so kudos on that. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Tanya



If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over.
— Yiddish proverb