Perfect world

Spoiler

This has nothing to do with the poem. I’m Torn because I cut myself. Now I live in a…

Perfect world.

A rainbow in the night’s sky,
A smile on the Sun’s face,
Above, the fish fly
With wings of lace.

A candle wearing shades
Wants to be my friend,
But away its flame fades.
Its life’s at an end.

On a web so thin,
Hangs an elephant
And the spiders spin
Nothing relevant.

I smile at the sight
Of the soldiers’ tango
And scream in fright
At the vampire mango.

And against my will,
I leave to find
A world so still
Like I’d left behind.

Bottles, tubes and cans,
Enclosed around me.
There’s a scent that bans
Oxygen to roam free.

The lovely, perfect world,
Was a simple design
Of solvents never hurled,
Chemicals fill my mind.

I like this! Although I'll admit I don't entirely understand the message, this poem still proves to be quite thought-provoking. I feel a lot of reversal going on, providing a nice contrast from the title. It flowed very well, and the rhymes just worked. I want to read some of your other work!

Wow I liked it but the begin kinda confused me a little bit.

It's life's at an end.

I don't know what you meant by that exactly. Should it be it's life at an end?

On a web so thin,
Hangs an elephant
And the spiders spin
Nothing relevant.

Comma after elephant? The vampire mango just seemed completely random, but I liked it. Those two words just fit in perfectly with the rest of the poem, somehow.

And against my will,
I leave to find

I don't think you need a comma after will. I agree that it was confusing, but it was good. The poem really caught my attention and throughout the whole thing I

I didn't quite understand this poem, because it seems to me like it is a bunch of gibberish. No offense. I'd re-write this, unless that is what you were intending.