He said

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I don't really know what to say about this poem. It just sort of came to me...suddenly. I didn't look at it twice. I just wrote. And I liked it. It's about me and someone VERY special. Can you guess who it is? :D Oh and I didn't really know which genre to put this in because it's a mixture of expression of joy and at the same time it's a sort of narrative...Please tell me what you think.


He said

One day He took my hand
And said:
"I will show you the way,"
And with my faith
I followed.
I walked past all my terrible mistakes,
And He said:
"The Father has forgiven,"
But in my heart
Guilt still roamed.
Had I forgiven myself?
Had I learned?
Or could they be repeated?
With his soft voice,
He said:
"Turn back only to remember
the consequences of those acts."
Before me,
A path opens.
Then another.
Which route to choose?
He let go of my hand
And slipped a whisper in my heart:
"I will always be here..."
And tears rolled out of my sinful eyes,
"You'll never be alone." He said.
My trust in him only grew
For up to this day,
He kept his promise.
Forever shall I believe
What He said.
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams




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I like! it was really interesting and I read it twice! <3
And slipped a whisper in my heart:
"I will always be here..."

This is my favorite line. It was really cute and sweet.

I related this poem to my own life, and it means a lot to it.

Keep writing!! -germsieGal
The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.




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Very simple, very touching. I think that is the story of many peoples lives and you captured it on a whim. Great job!
The words you write reflect your soul. Make every word count.




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Bravo!
Great poem, and i know who he is *winkyface.
~HopeisPeace




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Simple, but both touching and cute. It's hopeful... yes, that's the word I'd use. :)
It reminded me a little of a poem I wrote myself, it hasn't even a remotly similar content but the words "He said" is repeated several times :) You're welcome to read it if you like;
viewtopic.php?t=64168
Otherwise... I tried really hard to find something helful to say but nothing wrong with the stanzas, couldn't find any grammar mistakes and I don't think any part of the text was unclear or anything like that. Soo, well, it was a really good poem all together. :P
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost




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So, I really was meaning to write a helpful review, but like everyone else said, this poem was just really good.
"You'll never be alone." He said.
I think this should be ," he said. But I'm not sure, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me. Anyway, I loved your poem and I loved the message.
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. -Kafka

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Ogres are like onions.
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