I Do Not Like You, Dani D.

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Spoiler
This is a poem to my ex-girlfriend, whose name I have shortened to Dani D. Sorry for the poor/rushed quality, but I really needed to vent some emotions here. Feel free to comment, but this is mostly for me.


I do not like you, Dani D.

I would not like you after beer
I would not like you there or here.

I would not like you in my car
I would not like you in from afar

I do not like you, Dani D.
I do not like you,
Can't you see?

I could not like you if you cried
I could not like you if I tried

I could not like you Sunday next
I could not like you Monday next

I will not like you any more
I will not like a hopeless chore

I cannot like you, Dani D
I cannot like you
Don't you see?

There was once,
But this is now.

I cannot like you,
Don't you see?
For I once loved you, Dani D
Remember your name. Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story. - Neil Gaiman




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This is really good :) Good vent. Poetry is an amazing thing when it comes to venting. This is great :) Pure emotions.
MBK




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I agree. Venting is very good, and very healthy. It's toxic to keep things locked up. And I believe poetry is an excellent way to sum up - or even maybe just hint - at the true feelings inside. And I always say that poetry is very personal and there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to construct a good poem.




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This was a really good poem. It showed some reall emotion and it came from your heart, which is the best and only way to write a good poem. It's kind of Dr.Suess like, which I enjoyed, especially because it is so different from Dr.Suess.

However this part:
I could not like you Sunday next
I could not like you Monday next

I wish you would have stuck to the rhyming, because when it didn't rhym I was just like errrr, and it kind of took away from the flow. At least that's my opinion.

Overall, great job; I really like this.
Live, Love, Laugh




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This was quite lovely. Even if it was framed after a children's rhyme, it was still really good. Nicely done =]
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)




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This is a lovely little poem. My favorite line is:
For I once loved you, Dani D
It was a really nice way to end it. I also like the repetition in this poem. People don't often get it when poets use repetition in their poems but I find it brings something different because it emphasizes on the message you're trying to bring across.

Keep writing :)
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams



You got rid of them. Yes, that's just like you. Getting rid of everything unpleasant instead of learning to put up with it.
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World