Broken mistake

Standing here,
With this blank stare.
Can't feel this rain,
Don't see these tears.

Something's missing,
Something's wrong inside.
Not quite right.
Watch the world go by.
Don't know why,
Too hard to describe.

It's like I can't move.
Everything I do,
Everything I don't.
Going nowhere.
Can't think,
Can't speak,
Maybe just a broken mistake.

Watch you work,
Watch you live.
Invisible,
Like a ghost in the wind.

That was a vary flowing and graceful piece of work. Nice work!

Your poem is very full of emotion, as most of your work seems to be, which is amazing! This piece is very captivating, and flows smoothly. Where do you get your inspiration from? I hope to read more of your work soon, you are a very talented writer, good luck, have fun, and keep writing amazing poetry!
~Zanna

I liked it, but I feel like you could lend more emotion and passion to it. It was good, I just feel like you had some strong emotions when you wrote this and they didn't fully transfer to the page. Good work though, your rythm is good and so were your breaks. I can't wait to read more from you : )

Hey Kat! Yet again, another amazing piece! My reviews are all probably starting to sound the same to you now. Welp, sorry about that, but here I go again.

Again, your ending seems to be slightly improved from some of your other pieces, so at least you can say you're working on it! This one seems much less blunt, like you just stopped in the middle of the poem. I'd say it's better

This piece didn't seem to flow quite as nicely as some of your other pieces, though don't get me wrong, it still flowed pretty nicely, there were just a few places that seemed a bit forced or choppy. It also seemed to convey a little less emotions. I think some of it had to do with the ryhming., since it's so hard to find words that rhyme, but still flow nicely and convey your emotions. I think you did a great job considering, but some of your others are better. I still liked it a lot, though. I also like the rythm the ryhming gives it in some places, though.

Standing here,
With this blank stare.
Can't feel this rain,
Don't see these tears.

Something's missing,
Something's wrong inside.
Not quite right.
Watch the world go by. [This line just seemed a little out of place. It kind of interrupts the flow. I like the line, I just don't see how it fits in right here.]
Don't know why,
Too hard to describe.

It's like I can't move.
Everything I do,
Everything I don't.
Going nowhere.
Can't think,
Can't speak,
Maybe just a broken mistake.

Watch you work,
Watch you live.
Invisible,
Like a ghost in the wind.[Well, these four lines, I really like them, but they seem to convey a slightly different message than the rest of your poem. I wouldn't worry about it too much, though.]

It makes you think about how the worst feeling we can have is feeling nothing. Also I think about how it can feel like nobody listens to anything we say sometimes. How we watch others go through their lives. It was a really powerful and full of depth work.