Cold...

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I smile, this false smile,
A mask of lies,
Under which I hide.

Will anyone ever know,
The true me, so very cold?
Like darkness under stone.

Beneath this raging sky,
All alone I cry,
This beautiful rain will never die.

Why can't tears be beautiful?
The raw ugliness, unmistakable,
The emotions inside, so betrayable.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits..
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
~Unknown




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Hey Kat,
I don't have much time right now so I'll just give a quick (lame) review. First of all I really liked it. It was a little confusing (what is the purpose of it? What is it about?) Just something to think on. Anyway, the ending was a little blunt. You were just going along and then, it ends. It doesn't seem much like a good place to stop, it's too abrupt.

Anyway, gotta go now, but good work! Keep writing! (And don't worry, I'm sure you'll get a better review from someone else. Sorry mine was lame. Maybe I'll come back later when I have more time)
~Tayla
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
~Albert Einstein

I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
~Anonymous

I am the author of my life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen and I can't erase my mistakes. . .
~Anonymous




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Points 4049
Reviews 99
Oh, and another thing, I really liked the line 'this beautiful rain will never die' and 'why can't tears be beautiful?' (Sorry, can't use the right quoting cause I'm on a phone) although you use beautiful in both lines, right next to each other. It doesn't matter much anyway, though, it still sounds fine. Oh and I love your descriptions and the way you portray things. It really conveys a lot of emotion. I like your style.
~Tayla (sorry it was so rushed)
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
~Albert Einstein

I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
~Anonymous

I am the author of my life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen and I can't erase my mistakes. . .
~Anonymous




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Points 2290
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Just let me say, this work is a great poem (what else should I expect from you but only the very best!). You are very talented, when it comes to poetry (writing, and probably reading it) I'm lost. But I really enjoy your work, and I didn't find anything that needed correcting, so keep up the great work!
~Zanna Shepherd
In order to write about life, first you must live it!

Ernest Hemingway

Hmm, must be why I only write fantasy, that's the only life I've ever lived.
~Zanna




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Points 2973
Reviews 102
Hi ya there Katrina!!!

I smile, this false smile,
A mask of lies,
Under which I hide.

A nice introduction, though very touching and sad:(

Will anyone ever know,
The true me, so very cold?
Like darkness under stone.

Come on, you are like the Queen of unique descriptions here, you can come up with something better than "darkness under stone", lol!

Beneath this raging sky,
All alone I cry,
This beautiful rain will never die.

Why can't tears be beautiful?
The raw ugliness, unmistakable,
The emotions inside, so betrayable.
Betrayable is kind of an awkward word but I guess it works here...


*snuggles* you need a hug my friend, all your poems are so touching and sad but so beautiful and artistic.
~Dakota Knight
What is important is to know fear and yet take a step forward.
Rosette Christopher

Looking for peeps to review my novel:)

novel.php?id=1142



In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own.
— Albus Dumbledore