Brilliant

Brilliant

Look passed my eyes
And search through my soul
A scar you will see
That will not make me bow
I will not shatter
For I am strong
To withstand your pain
All my life

I am beautiful
Talented, amazing
Brilliant
But it wasn’t even
You didn’t want me
To be who I am
And I realize that now
You spit upon me for it

There is an end to all
And yours is today
No more hitting
No more beatings
It’s time
You will not hurt me no more
For I am brilliant
And I can’t be shattered

Hey, shiney1 here

I like the feeling the poem has, and the subject. It didn't have as much imagery as I would have liked, but it had a fair amount. I just feel, for a poem like this, the imagery could be astounding, and expanding on it would help greatly. It flowed well for the most part too. Some parts, I felt were flat while others were more lively, so the imbalance ruined it a bit.

Look past my eyes,
And search through my soul;
A scar you will see,
That will not make me bow.
I will not shatter,
For I am strong enough
To withstand your pain
All my life.

I am beautiful,
Talented, amazing;
I and brilliant. This sounds just so much better this way, but it is just a suggestion.
But it wasn’t even What wasn't even? This line is a bit confusing.
You didn’t want me
To be who I am,
And I realize that now
As you spit upon me for it Sounds better and easier to understand.

There is an end to all,
And yours is today.
No more hitting,
No more beatings;
It’s time.
You will not hurt me any more Proper word to use.
For I am brilliant,
And I can’t be shattered! This exclamation point adds a strong finish.

So there was a lot of punctuation and some grammar and placement. You should expand on the imagery, that would help a lot. But overall, great poem!

Thumbs up! I really like the way your poem flows. It has a very nice rhythm.

I am beautiful
Talented, amazing
Brilliant
But it wasn’t even
You didn’t want me
To be who I am
And I realize that now
You spit upon me for it

I like this stanza the best. I really like the way you have the word brilliant standing alone.

Keep writing,
~FW~