Peeled Naked

Warning, mature photograph!

Spoiler

Inspiration!

Meanings wear words like you
wear clothes to hide your greasepaint skin,
whispers draping falling glaciers
rising to stifled breaths,
just enough to mimic still life, even as the
latex peels.

With fingers dipped in wet
new skin, retracing jutting curves
smoothed just enough by this stuttering sun,
just enough
to keep the cold at bay, I would
strip away the layers and wash
the folded ice flows with my lips and
tongue, taste the cold that brings the
raw and barren things behind it
that is you.

I would not thaw your form
with wordless meaning, not with
shapes unlike your own;
I would lead you out into the sun,
to melt each evening.


note: this was a collab with a friend of mine!!!! I super hope she makes an account on here!

Nice! I loved your description and wording. It was a bit confusing at first but now I sort of understand what it is. I really liked this!

The first line caught me, "Meanings wear words like you," I had to go back and reread it, not because I didn't understand, but to make sure I did. Your line breaks give this good flow. I enjoyed it immensely.

I find this poem to be very sensual and it is definitely something I would save to read again.
My favorite part about it is how bodies are compared to elements of nature in a way that isn't a cliche.

Darn I wanted this to be a funny poem about a helpless banana.

That was sassy! Consider me a fan. The line breaks and impressive flow really helped with the mental imagery! The only thing that could be improved would be for the idea to be developed earlier on. But that's just nitpicking - great poem!

I'm definitely definitely impressed, i love the description used , and generally, i would say, a good job! keep it up!

"I would not thaw your formwith wordless meaning, not with shapes unlike your own; I would lead you out into the sun,to melt each evening."


Wow! I am realllyy impressed! Keep writing and convince your friend to make an account.

I love collabs. This one was interesting. Sadly I couldn't get to see the photo that inspired you, because the link led straight to a JOIN NOW page. It reminded me of the song Breathe on Me by Britney Spears. There's something mysterious and sexual about it that I love. It's not crude, it's sleek. My favorite line was "With fingers dipped in wet new skin" That's a sexy image. I loved it. And I really like the repetition of "just enough" in the second stanza. It would sound better if you could add another "just enough" into it, in a way that would work. As I said I like the repetition of it. and your friend should make an account! I feel like collaborating with someone now.

it was, in fact, a very unique way of describing something sensual. It allowe the reader to understand and invision the scene to there own liking. It was sexual but not explicit. Great job. Exceptional. Keep it up.