I think this is one of my favourite poems i've read on here.
The rhythm and full rhyme make it flow magnificently, and your imagery is enchanting. I'm not entirely sure of exactly what it's about , but i have my theories...
Just one little thing i'd mention:
Wait, your life has just begun. Wait a little while. They'll see you soaring past the sun, you'll just laugh and smile.
I feel like this final line perhaps needs an extra beat to make it flow with the rest of the poem. Having said that, this is my favourite stanza.
This is a very beautiful poem. I have one suggestion on the wording, though. Where you say "be careful in your tread," maybe you could replace it with, "be careful where you tread." It just sounded a little odd to me. I'm sorry if I'm being obsessive Otherwise, it's a very beautiful poem. Keep writing, I'm eager to read more of your work!
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. I screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it's left me blind. Florence and the Machine, Cosmic Love
Some lines you capitalize the first letter and others you don't. Maybe it's just me, but I think you should capitalize them all. I like the poem alot. Great job.
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. -Abraham Joshua Heschel
