Your Idea of Perfection

I don't want to be molded into your idea of perfection,
Because I am stroing and unafraid of rejection.
Don't judge me with just one glance,
I am much more then you know, just give me a chance.
I am a flute player, and I play with passion,
I'm not one to keep up on the latest fashions.
I am not one to listen to rumors and hype,
I don't want to be labled with your sterotypes.
When you have your ideas on what you want to see,
You don't really see the person I can truely be.
It's the first impression that you can't see past,
Because it's the one thing that you want to last.
This girl laughs, and this girl crys,
But I will spread my wings and learn to fly.




Let me know what you think
_____________________________
Kaitlyn

Okaydokay, the rhyming was rather forced and cliche, and quite overpowering. Maybe you should try to fit the ideas into freeverse, I think it would be much more effective. Becase the idea was good, the execution wasn't.

Hi Kaitlyn!!

Good job!The rhyming was good.Liked it

I agree with Misty Lynn, the rhyming was forced and affected the rhythm, but the content was good

What's with all the monkey faces?

Moving on -

Don't judge me with just one glance,

This girl laughs, and this girl crys,
But I will spread my wings and learn to fly.

I don't want to be molded into your idea of perfection,

lines like these fell short of overdosed on syllables.

crys

cries

stroing

does this mean strong?

Okay, first off - I liked your poem. It represented strong character and the ever-so-popular idea of popularity in school, what teenagers face, the relief of peer pressure, blah blah blah, ect. What I also like is that it flows well (the rhyming, the main idea). However I must say that it is a cliche topic. I sensed a bit of originality, but it's still mostly cliche. On the other hand, being as a cliche topic, I am impressed you pulled it off without making it even slightly boring. Five out of ten points from the Black Sheep.

I liked they rhyming in this, simply because I can't rhyme to save my life, so good job with that. But the subject and content is way too overused. Almost anyone can write about angsty teenage life and being stereotyped by everyone. I like to see something different. Keep writing!

Heh, I helped with this.

I liked it still... but now I re-read it, no offense, but the rhymes still bug me a bit ...