Life Lessons

Enjoy.

Hi there, the name is Nafe and I'm here to review your poem.

I'm not usually nit-picky andI don't intend to be towrads this particular piece. I really liked it. It flowed brilliantly. It wasn't long but it was nice and descriptive and managed to deliver the intended message without needing to break up into elongated stanzas.

I particularly liked the lines
"So breathing is not taking breath
But rather avoiding certain death"

They reminded me of a certain Fall Out Boy song. Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying. They say such an incredibly powerful poetic piece at the end of it. I'm not sure if you're familiar with it so I'll juts put it up in this review and then maybe you can see why your poetry reminds me of it.

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

It's so beautiful juts like your poem although a tad more depressing.
Anyway, good, good good job. And I'm so glad I was the first to comment on such a brilliant pice =D

Thank you very much for the review, appreciate it.

This is very short, simple, and beautiful. Your mastery of language is very commendable and keeps the reader interested. The title is what pulled me in, I think. Everyone is always giving their own take on life and I'm pleased to say that i completely agree with yours. Very nice, very practical.

Good job and happy writing!

Veritas