In This Moment

Into the broken moment when
All things must be
For now, or for not
This is not the time
And hardly the place
Here we are
Yet it seems
and yet it seems
That the giving is not done

A shattered ship
Sits and harbors
A Lady in waiting
She comes to tear holes
In the hearts
Of half starved men
Yet it seems
and yet it seems
The wanting is not done

A festival of lights
No one's smiling
The dancers weary
Twirling to the tunes
Of an emaciated band
Drinks just out of reach
Yet it seems
and yet it seems
The needing is no less

What may come
May never be
Perhaps it's just
A bitter dream
Ashes for one
Ashes for all
Yet it seems
and yet it seems
The bleeding is no less

Heyah, the name's Nafe and I'm here to review your poem.

First off, I am hugely disappointed; WHY has no one commented on this yet? I am in looove! Can I post this up on my blog? I'm not going to be all nit-picky and what not seeing as there's nothing to complain about.

It's a lovely poem and one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Oh I just love the imagery in each stanza. I particularly liked the last stanza; it was my favourite.

"What may come
May never be"<-- This right here was pure genius.

Everything flowed for me. Again, brilliant work.

I loved this as well! The wording is genius and has a lovely sprinkle of mystery to it. Nothing seemed out of place to me. Oh yes and the rhythm is suuuperb. I loved the third stanza the imagery is just lovely! Sorry I don't have anything more helpful to say and thank you for sharing! I wholly enjoyed every bit of it.

Heyah. It's me again. I just wanted to let you know that I've put your poem up on my blog. I mentioned that it's not mine and I of course put up your YWS username seeing as I can't see your real name. I hope that's okay. If not, I can remove it any time you'd like. The url is mschanza.tumblr.com