The Hunter's Night

7 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 52
The Hunter's Night
The Lover's Loss


I am no angel
I am not damned
I am cursed
With a broken heart
Shattered in pieces
Made of decay and talons

I’ll tell you a story
Of a long dark past
Mistakes occurred
But they weren’t my fault
Not now
Not ever

Alone in a field
He and I
Together in peace
Cheek to cheek
Heart to heart
Palm to palm

It was the night of the hunter
The moon said it all
It was close to midnight
But we couldn’t break away
The field was our home
And at home we stayed

A wood laid over
Over the golden hill
Dark trees with lurking monsters
The field was like a game board
And we were in its trap
If only it were brief

Sleep became our rest
He and I
The moon blazed with beauty
As clocks all around us struck twelve
But we were in the sleep oblivion
And in the oblivion we stayed

Dark fur glimmered in the moonlight
Out to the field
It lurked for its prey
The innocence of the lamb
And we were in the hunter’s territory
Under the midnight moon

I woke to the echo of screams
The metallic scent
He was gone
And I was alone
The moon was full
Whispering at me to run

I did
I ran from the beast
Killing my love
And shattering my heart
Ripping from me
The one who called me angel

His feast wasn’t over
So I still had time
The field was long
A endless maze
Through the long golden wheat
And the darkness
My lover knew the maze
I should’ve paid attention

The wolf knew it too
The bloody scent was near
I stumbled throughout the maze
As if it was a lost world
My lover’s spirit didn’t guide me
I don’t blame him now

Talons like fire
Ripped through my flesh
Blood splattered onto the wheat
Cursing it forever
Pain was endless
I’ve always taken it gradually

I fell to my knees
A slave to the hunter
Seconds of breath
And an hourglass of life
No relief washed over me
Just pain, only pain

“You’re mine,”
The hunter whispered
His breath at my ear
His soft fur brushed my open wounds
“Not his.”
And I knew it was true

Midnight passed
That night flew away
For my nights welcome me
Into a never-ending pleasure
Running through the night
With my hunter

But I still miss him
His beauty, his gentleness
I hate myself for it
He called me angel
I am no angel
But I am definitely cursed
Remember me for who I am, Not for who I was




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 302
Reviews 93
Wow... I just... I love this. Please post on my wall when you write more! I loved this so much keep up the great work!
I'm not good at editing poems but this one looked all right. I didn't see anything wrong with it. So you're good to go. Can't wait to read more!
~Nightlyowl




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1215
Reviews 9
Great job!
You chose some really great descriptive words in this that helped me easily capture the imagery.
In particular, I really liked the lines "The field was like a game board" and "the moon blazed with beauty".
I think the short lines also reflected the intensity of it all.
I think you had really good word choice like talons, lurking monsters, metallic scent, etc.
You were able to capture the mood very well and I really enjoyed it :).
Hope to read more soon!




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1456
Reviews 126
I like this poem's style, and your general writing style, good word choice, there were a few general things you could change, but the poem is still great without those. The first stanza says it all:
I am no angel
I am not damned
I am cursed
With a broken heart
Shattered in pieces
Made of decay and talons

Keep Writing!
Flightplan 49




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1046
Reviews 23
Wow... i don't know what to say its just amazing! It get so many feelings going. Love, sadness, a slight hate for the hunter as he say that she is his. It got my heart going and i could see her running and stumbling and I could feel the pain as she was hit. This was amazing plan and honestly! Please keep writing!
in a world full of copycats be an original




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2179
Reviews 43
wow i tthought ur poem wuz really god and hope to read more!
"What is dead my never die, but rises again, larger and stronger..."

*Ride like Lightening, crash like Thunder*


"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies..."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2179
Reviews 43
srry i meant to say really good
"What is dead my never die, but rises again, larger and stronger..."

*Ride like Lightening, crash like Thunder*


"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies..."



And don't forget it's hydrate or diedrate
— zaminami