Keys

This is very short and obvious, but I haven't written anything in four months so... review it(: thanks. *NOTE* many think this is not easy to understand and does not "flow". Correction. Life is not easy to understand. My mind didnt flow when writing this 1. since the person who this is about never makes any sense and 2. the point was to make everyone who read it -- think. Thinking yet?

Each day I think and I wonder
about where you can find yourself.
Keys unlock your secrets,
The very same that make your music.

Fingers dance across; making sound.
Who are you?
Your song is embedded within,
It echoes.
It travels.

Your love dies,
And the deaf cave engulfs you.


True Meaning: There's this guy i know. he's a piano player. he loves it. He has many secrets, many of which, i will never understand. (seriously, he plays like Beethoven. no joke). One day, i this guy just stopped playing. I have no idea why. but he just stopped randomly one day. Thats why the poem ends so abrubtly.

OMG I love you. I love music, and so I could relate to this! Just a few nitpicks:

Keys unlock your secrets
The very same that make your music

Wasn't sure about this. It sounds good, but it needs to make just a little more sense: Is it the keys that make his/her music, or is it the secrets?

Fingers dance across

...Across what?

My mind is embedded with your song

Hm. Wording's a little off here. Perhaps "Your song is embedded in my mind?"

And the ending was so abrubt. It threw me way off. "You are so amazing...I love you...Your song is amazing, too...and you're gone." What? Why is this person gone all of a sudden? I like the "deaf cave" part, but why did they suddenly end up in a deaf cave?

Of course, these are only things that threw me off because I thought about them really hard. I do that sometimes. It helps that shorter poems like this one are so much easier to critique, so I critique the little things I find to the death. I honestly loved it, it's a wonderful poem. *clicks like*

Hey there, im not sure if it is just me but i really didn't understand this. Maybe if it could add a bit more interpretation it could be more clear

Hey, shiney1 here!

Okay. This poem was...different. I like the topic, but it is not that easy to understand. It is choppy in many places, hardly flows, and it leaves out many details needed to make it understandable. I feel like it just jumped all over the place. You made a good attempt at imagery, it it was lost in the confusion.

Each day I think,
And I wonder I wonder,
'Keys unlock your secrets;
The very things that make your music.' You are thinking, so you needs those marks on the ends. Plus, the format I put it in sounds better.

My fingers dance across you.
And I ask, 'Who are you?'
As my mind is embedded with your song; Sounds better and flows better
It echoes,
It travels.

Your love dies,
And the deaf cave engulfs you.

So that is it from me. Those are just my suggestions, to give you an idea of the improvements you could make. Add more imagery, and you are golden.

Cool poem, but I didn't really get what you were talking about. I like your word choice, though.