Dreams

It seems Im doing my best work before I go to sleep. I jotted this one down before I hit the hay last night, I revised it a tiny bit this morning, but its still kind of raw.

I dreamed a dream of frightful colors,
Of blue and gold and green and yellow,
Of lighthearted rainbows that run through the sky,
And silver-lined clouds as they float by,

I dreamed a dream of forgotten faces,
Of people who I never knew,
Of shadowy figures and unknown creatures,
With awkward smiles and unusual features,

I dreamed a dream of times long ago,
Of distant places and far away lands,
Of knightly lords and fair-faces lasses,
And watch far away as the hourglass passes,

I dreamed a dream of dreams unending,
Of places, and people, and things galore,
Of unknowns and familiars and everything between,
It seems I've seen all there is to be seen.

Hi.. Nice poem I liked the rhyme and the flow was pretty smooth and easy too.. Good work!!
Harshita:)

Very nice! It flows great!!!

Keep it up!

~FW~

Hello! I'm here to repay the favour! Ok, so, first impressions: this was a decent, simple piece. The title is cliched, so you may want to change it and think up something a little more original. The body of text? It was well-written, and here and there you slipped in a bit of pretty imagery which give your piece a bit more...meh, what's the word...Umph? The flow was nice and paced. All-in-all, not a wonderful piece, but a nice gentle poem. Here's a nitpick

Ignatius5453 wrote:I dreamed a dream of frightful colors,
Of blue and gold and green and yellow,
Of lighthearted rainbows that run through the sky,
And silver-lined clouds as they float by, - this doesn't sound great and doesn't exactly make sense. Perhaps try: And Silver-lined clouds which gently fly by.

I dreamed a dream of forgotten faces,
Of people who I never knew,
Of shadowy figures and unknown creatures,
With awkward smiles and unusual features - you've rhymed the 4th line with the third: you should've rhymed it with the 2nd line - it seems awkward and cringy at the moment...

I dreamed a dream of times long ago,
Of distant places and far away lands,
Of knightly lords and fair-faces lasses,
And watch far away as the hourglass passes, - see above ^^^

I dreamed a dream of dreams unending,
Of places, and people, and things galore,
Of unknowns and familiars and everything between,
It seems I've seen all there is to be seen.- Aghhh...you've done it again! It really doesn't sound great, and, besides, in the first stanza, you rhymed the second and fourth lines, which was SOOOO much better. There's no consistency.

And, just something I thought I'd bring to your attention: you started each stanza with 'I dreamed a dream' - the famous so-entitled song in the theatre musical: 'les miserables' ( google it). If you didn't know, then fair enough. However, as someone who adores this partciular song and play, it seems to me as though you've taken the line and fitted it in your poem. All-in-all, though, a good poem. Keep up the good work!

~ Amelia

Heyy... Just wanted to say this overall has a good flow but, (im sorta going off on what Amelia said) you really should try to get the 2nd and 4th lines to ryhme,instead of the 3rd and 4th but other than that it was good. I enjoyed reading it(:

It seems Im doing my best work before I go to sleep. I jotted this one down before I hit the hay last night, I revised it a tiny bit this morning, but its still kind of raw.

Lol, same with me!
Anyways, on to the reviewing:

Of knightly lords and fair-faced lasses,

Awesome poem!
It all made wonderful sense and your imagery was great. As was your emotion and flow! I have no nitpicks but the one above.
Great job

Keep writing,
Alzora