The Magic of the Night Sky

The night sky expands over the world below,
Everywhere the stars twinkled brightly.
Even the people below sleep peacefully
And their dream dance on through the night.

People who could not sleep noticed that,
About the night sky.
Even angels could see as they sat up in heaven
Now the night sky was coming to an end.

The sun would shoot through the darkness,
And magical colours would dance over the sky
Brids will sing and people wake up after there night of slumber
To awake to a brand new day ready and waiting to start

The house was quiet, can you hear the rain
As it hits on the tin roof?
The sound of the pitter patter, a sound so relaxing.
Looking out the window a rainbow shows it's magical colors.

The day is drawing to a close once again.
Stars are coming out to play,
Even the moon is shining brighter tonight.
That is what makes the night sky so special.

This is a beautiful poem. However, I did find some mistakes and would like to point them out.

The night sky expands over the world below,
Everywhere the stars twinkled brightly.
Even the people blow sleep peacefully -below
And there dream dance on through the night.I think you mean 'their'. 'there' is a word that usually points to a direction while 'their' shows possession of something. You're saying that the people's dreams dance on through the night.

People who could not sleep noticed that - noticed what exactly? these two lines are rather vague.
About the night sky
Even angels could see as they sat up in heaven
Now the night sky was coming to an end.

The sun would shoot through the darkness,
And magical colours would dance over the sky
Brids will sing and people wake up after there night of slumber -their
To awake to a brand new day ready and waiting to start.

The house was quiet, can you hear the rain?
As it hits on the tin roof. -take off the question mark on the first line and put it in the second line to replace the period because the two lines are actually one whole sentence.
The sound of the pitta patter, sound so relaxing -pitter; you can either say "sounds so relaxing" or "a sound so relaxing".
Looking out the window a rainbow shows it's magical colours.full stop

The day is drawing to a close once again,
Stars are coming out to play.
Even the moon is shining brighter tonight
That is what makes the night sky so special.
So I'd like to say that the idea and the actual meaning of the poem is really beautiful. The way you wrote it is also very good. I'd like to point out to use more punctuations because the sentence run into each other without them. Try reading it aloud to know where to put which punctuations. Some spelling mistakes were there as well so I pointed them out.

Happy writing! I hope this helps.

Hello. That is one interesting but simple title. xD Well, I think the first letters of 'night sky' should be capitalized.

Nitpicks:

The night sky expands over the world below

- o.o This first line made this seem like a story and not a poem. I don't know if it's a bad thing though.
- Anyway, I think you should put a period after this line since this is a full sentence.

Everywhere the stars twinkled brightly

- Put a period at the end.

Even the people blow sleep peacefully

- How exactly do people 'blow' sleep? o.o
- Period at the end.

And there dream dance on through the night.

- I think there should be a comma after 'there'.
- Also, I think it should be 'dances', not 'dance'.

About the night sky

- Put a period at the end.

Even angels could see as they sat up in heaven

- Period at the end

Now the night sky was coming to an end.

- I think there should be a comma after 'Now'.

And magical colours would dance over the sky

- Put a period at the end.

Brids will sing and people wake up after there night of slumber

- Corrections: 'Birds', 'they're'
- Also, I think you should also write the 'people wake up' in future tense because you started the line in that tense.

To awake a brand new day ready and waiting to start

- I don't think 'awake a brand new day' is logically correct. o.o Did you mean to 'awake to a brand new day' or 'wake up to a brand new day' or something?
- Put a comma after 'day'.

The house was quiet, can you hear the rain?
As it hits on the tin roof.

- I think it's better if you use a dash instead of a comma after 'quiet'.
- The question mark should be after 'roof', not after 'rain' since it's where the question actually ends.

The sound of the pitta patter, sound so relaxing

- There shouldn't be a comma after 'patter'.
- Also, to use the word 'sound' twice especially in a single line seems so redundant.
- Put a period at the end.

Looking out the window a rainbow shows it's magical colours

- There should be a comma after 'window'.
- The 'it's' should be 'its' since it's possessive.
- Also, the passive voice here sounds awkward. o.o I suggest rewriting.
- Put a period at the end.

The day is drawing to a close once again

- Period at the end

Stars are coming out to play

- Period at the end

Even the moon is shining brighter tonight

- Period at the end

That is what makes the night sky so special.

- Sorry but... I failed to feel the specialness of the night sky with this ending. >.<


Honestly, I didn't like this the first time I read this. I was distracted by the mistakes I found in the poem. But after reading it again, I liked it. ^_^ I think the imagery and the way you wrote this poem is beautiful. I remember 'The Starry Night' painting by Vincent van Gogh while rereading the poem. ^_^ The only problems I found are the lack of punctuation and the few grammar issues which I mentioned in my nitpicks.

Never stop writing!

I think you need to meet my friend the comma. ,,,, And I think you need to become better aquainted with him. The rewies before me point out the nitpicks and typos, and furthermore, you need to rewrite some of your sentances. They just didn't flow well to me, and they didn't pull me in and make me want more.