I Can't Wait Forever

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"I Can't Wait Forever"
By: Lisa (©LC Sounds)

You've been giving me these looks
That no one has gaven me before
You always seem to help me out
Whenever I'm in need
My friends say we should go out
My friends say we would make a cute couple
Then if you like me
Why won't you ask me out?

Chorus:
You say you will in your own time
But I can't wait around forever
I like you and you like me
I really want to know if this is real
Or just some silly crush
But I can't wait around forever
Just so you can get some courage

Don't know what to do
Don't even know what we are
Are we friends or are we more?
Should I become a star?
Or stay who I am?
Whatever I am will you ask me out?
And if not
Why won't you ask me out?

Chorus

I want to know if I'm waiting forever
Because if I am I'm outta' here
I want to have a career
I can't when all I'm doing is waiting
I don't want to disappear
But I can't wait around for a year
Just to hear you say you want more
So why won't you ask me out?

Chorus

I'm not waiting forever
Just for a simple question
So good-bye
And go get some courage

You've been giving me these looks
That no one has gave me before

That just seemed wrong, I have two suggestions for that line:

One

You've been giving me these looks
That no one has given me before


Two

You've been giving me these looks
That no one gave me before

Good job

But the last chorus was not that impressing(mainly the last two lines, it sounded to be just a poem)

Thanks for the comments and I made the change!

Problem: That no one has gaven me before
Problem fixed: That no one has given me before

Over all tho it was VERY good!

It was pretty well-done, but not exactly the most original thing of all time. Over all good job, and sorry I suck at critiques.

musicroxslife wrote:Pleave leave a comment!
"I Can't Wait Forever"
By: Lisa (©LC Sounds)

You've been giving me these looks
That no one has [s]gaven[/s] given me before
You always seem to help me out
When[s]ever[/s] I'm in need
My friends say we should go out
[s]My friends[/s] they say we would make a cute couple
Then if you like me
Why [s]won't[/s] don't you ask me out?

Chorus:
You say you will in your own time
But I can't wait [s]around [/s]forever
I like you and you like me
I really want to know if this is real
Or just some [s]silly[/s] childish crush
But I can't wait [s]around[/s] forever
Just so you can get some courage

Don't know what to do
Don't even know what we are
Are we friends or are we more?
Should I become a star? (what????)
Or stay who I am?
Whatever I am will you ask me out?
And if not
Why won't you [s]ask me out[/s]?

Chorus

I want to know if I'm waiting forever
Because if I am I'm outta' here
I want to have a career
I can't when all I'm doing is waiting
I don't want to disappear
But I can't wait around for a year
Just to hear you say you want more
So why won't you ask me out?

Chorus

I'm not waiting forever
Just for a simple question
So good-bye
And [s]go[/s] get some courage

oK ALL IN ALL THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE QUITE YOUNG. tHERE ISN'T ANYTHING DEEP ABOUT THIS... ITS ALL ON THE SURFACE.

aRGH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Your repetition is cringe worthy... I'm sorry I've got to let someone else crit this work.

*flails*