Run, Fat Boy, Run! Part 2

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Run, Fat Boy, Run!

A memoir about me, you and most other people. But mostly me.






May 16, 2011

So, I totally did not forget to write yesterday. And the day before that. But it’s totally fine because a total of two events have occurred and they were not even something worthy of writing about, but I will anyway because I promise I would write in here.

Event Numero Uno:

I began my diet at breakfast and then promptly forgot about it at lunch. It was only during the last period of the day at school that I remembered I had started a diet. So I promised myself I’d start the next day. Well. The next day came and BAM. I did well with breakfast, I think. Here’s a fun fact about me: Don’t talk to me before I eat my breakfast or I’ll rip your head off. Okay, that’s more of a threat than a fact, but who cares? Anyway, breakfast consisted of a bowl of cereal and some string cheese. Why the string cheese? you may ask. Let me tell you. I was still hungry after my bowl of cereal. I know, I know. I sound like I’m finding excuses to eat, but you have to understand. I usually eat two bowls of cereal, so this was a pretty evolutionary step in my absolutely flawless plan to lose weight.

Blech, I hate that word. Weight. It’s just the polite way of saying, “So exactly how fat are you?” And you see it everywhere! Health forms, P.E. slips, science class, elevators (Maximum weight limit: ½ of you), ect. It makes me paranoid. Although, I did see something one time that made this word a lot easier to accept. It was a definition or something of weight, and it said something along the lines of “Weight is the measurement of how much gravity is pushing down on you.” Something like that. But I’m not for sure because I pretty much suck at science. But this definition made it seem like it wasn’t how many calories or carbs I load into my system, rather the amount of gravity the laws of the universe decide to push on my body.

Anyway. Summary of event one: I began my diet with a bowl of cereal and string cheese.

Event Numero Dos:

Okay, so this one is pretty important to write about, I suppose. There’s this girl. We’re going to call her Blonde, okay? So Blonde sits two seats away from me in Geology (worst. class. ever.). Normally, I wouldn’t pay attention to the lesson because I could honestly care less about rocks and weathering and minerals, but when she transferred into my class at the semester, it only made my not-paying-attention even worse. She has those big blue eyes (actually, I think they might be brown. Note: check next class) that are round and sparkly like jewels and these fingers… Oh God, I love good fingers. I’m a pianist at heart, so I know good, strong fingers when I see them. The nails are well-filed, of course, and the actual fingers themselves are beautiful. Not too bony, but also not too chunky. Slender and graceful. She must be a musician of some sort. I hope she’s not a band kid—I really cannot stand them. But if she played the violin or harp or guitar or even just sang, I’d be okay with that.

Her fingers are so damn sexy.

In Geology the other day, I imagined my fingers intertwined with hers. And everything sort of stopped in that moment. It was like Mr. Byrd and the whole class around me froze, and it was just me and her and our fingers. I don’t know how to even begin trying to describe what I felt the, so I won’t. I suck at description. Ask my English teacher.

So, yeah. I’ll keep writing in this thing, I suppose. It’s kind of fun. I can get all my feelings out without feeling judged or anything. Something I can confide anything in. A friend. Wow. I’m so loserish I have to resort to a word processor to be my only friend. But then again, what can you do?

Tomorrow’s a B day. Which means Geology 3rd period. And I’m totally okay with that.

-

If you'd like me to PM you whenever a new part comes out, please say so in a comment or something.

-Jared
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.




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It was a nice surprise to relieved the pm from you with this newest chapter. Yay! ^_^

...I just noticed something about the subtitle thingy--there should be a comma after "you".

Also, in this sentence:
So Blonde sits two seats away from me in Geology (worst. class. ever.).

I think you should put the period after "Geology" and make "Worst" capitalized. The two periods at the end look stranger, and it would work if you moved the second one--it's not changing things too much, I just think it looks nicer. Plus, since you're going for the "I'm. speaking. emphatically." thing, I think it would work well on its own--y'know, as its own sort of sentence, instead of a part of the previous one.

I love the fingers observation. I'm a pianist myself, and after reading about the stories hands can tell, and the way musicians tend to tap their knee or the table or whatever along with the music, I really started looking for it in other people.
(It's kinda fun when you nail that--when you see someone keeping up with the rhythm and asking them if they're a musician. Even if they only used to play, they'll be all "How did you know?")

I really like this story. :3
"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu




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*fan scream* I demand a PM, I really love this! 8D

P.S. Event number one happens to me every day. <.< ... >.> Don't tell anyone I said that. xD
Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego

"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."




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I would like a PM :)

Fat Boy's finger fetish amuses me.

I'm not a huge fan of all the "so, anyway, et cetera." But, I mean, it's supposed to be read like a blog post, because it's written like a blog post. So there's that.

I would like more description of Blonde, because all we get is her hair color, eye color, and sexy fingers. As helpful as that is, I feel like Fat Boy's attraction to this girl would have him rambling on for paragraphs about her. Maybe later, though.

I take the band kids comment personally :P

That is all. Keep writing. Good job and crumpets.
We've stayed until the very end.
This is real for us.




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I would also like for you to PM me! Thanks!
I love these journals or whatever they are, it almost makes me want to start one in order to express my feelings and opinions. Great job on these I hope you keep on doing this because I really like them! (And so does everyone else here on YWS, congrads on both of the featured pieces!)
Peace,
Snickerdooly
"Characters cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller




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I added part 1 to my reading list a while ago and only just got around to it but I'm really glad I did. Your story could definitely be a published book, especially the title, description, plot, whatever. It's just great. It reminds me of all the books I used to read.

I don't have many nitpicks because your style is so unique and natural, and therefore any critiques I would have are totally up to you because your tone choice gives you a lot of creative license. I didn't really like the spanish subtitles (or whatever you want to call them) but again, that's just a matter of opinion.

I'm already getting a wonderful sense of your character which is so great because you are using only one method of conveying him to us. His attempt at dieting is something a lot of people can understand and relate to.

Probably my favorite part was your description of fingers. For one, I love fingers and hands. Two, you don't fall into the trap of cliche. Everyone has the one object of affection that they dream about all class and it's a common situation - this is not a bad thing in the least. Especially because you take it and focus in on something that is not common. It's great.

Finally, my school does the rotation with the letter days, too. I just wanted to share.

So, that is all. Please, please, please PM the next part. I really like this story. Also, if you have any questions PM me those, too.

:) Little Princess
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince




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Paul here!

but when she transferred into my class at the semester


It should be "at the start of the semester." The way it is, it doesn't really make any sense. Easy mistake to fix, even easier mistake to make.

And that's it. That's all the criticism I've got. Everything else is pretty much praise.

This was funny. Usually I'm just sort of chuckling whenever I read books, but with this I actually LOL'd a couple of times. That's a HUGE deal for me. Your writing style is awesome, and I think you really have something here. No offense, but is this really autobiographical? I honestly can't tell, since the character is such a good balance of eccentric and realistic. My only real complaint is that there isn't any real story arc developing yet, but it's so early and the chapters are so short, you should be able to hook readers with your writing alone.

All in all: Awesome! Can't wait to read more.
Remember your name. Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story. - Neil Gaiman



Let the wild rumpus start!
— Maurice Sendak