I opened my eyes and stared at my bedroom ceiling. “It’s going to be a boring Sunday,” I thought. “Maria!” It was my dad, asking if I would go to church with him like he would do every Sunday. And I would always answer ‘no’. I hate church very much. It’s the only place I would never go.
The day passed without any unusual event. And I was not wrong, it was a boring day. The next day would be worse.
It was Monday morning. I dressed up and went to school. I hate school. I hate my school- the stupid white walls, the statues which they call saints, the name- “Sacred Heart of Jesus Academy” and everything about it. This is just a normal Christian school in the Philippines and you would think that everybody here loves God, that we always talk about heaven and angels and saints, it’s true. But one thing you don’t know and everybody else about me is that I don’t believe in God.
“Riiinngg!!” The school bell rang, announcing the start of our first period which is the most boring subject of all- Christian Living. I sat in my usual seat while focusing on our non-verbal communication with my best friend, Lavender.
“Maria, did you meet the new guy? He’s CUTE!” she wrote. “No, I didn’t. And besides, you think every new student is cute.” I wrote back. “That’s not true.. I’ll tell you, this one is really cute! But he’s weird. He always talks about God.” Uh-oh! I hate people who are always talking about God. “I hate him!” I said out loud. Oopps!!
The teacher heard me and told me to go out and stand at the door as a punishment. Ugh!!! I walked toward the door and stood outside. I turned my head around and saw an unfamiliar face walking on the hall. He has a black hair and cute brown eyes. He was wearing a dark t-shirt and jeans. He seemed lost. He kept on looking around and stopped when he saw me. Our eyes met. He didn’t notice a small ball on the floor, so he stumbled but I caught his arm before he could hit the floor.
He stood up, slightly embarrassed and said, “Thank you very much. I am very clumsy.” “I can see that,” I said. “I’m Michael,” he said as he extended his hand. “Maria.” We shook hands. “Wow! Cool name! Maria like Mama Mary,” he said and I just stared at him. “Um, I’m new here. Do you know where Mrs. Reyes’ first class is? It’s Christian Living and my fave subject!” Fave subject? We’re totally opposite! “It’s here. It’s starting already,” I answered.
He said thank you and went inside the room. I heard him introducing himself to the class. Mrs. Reyes called me in. “Michael here said that you helped him just now. How very kind of you, Maria.” I rolled my eyes but made sure nobody saw it. I didn’t help him. It’s an exaggeration. “You can go back to your seat now,” Mrs. Reyes continued.
I went back to my seat and I found Michael sitting behind my mine with a smile on his face. I didn’t smile back.
The day passed by very slowly. It became worse when Lavender had to go home because of a headache. At last the final bell rang. As I was walking toward the gate, I saw Michael standing, eyes closed and a smile across his face. Other students started noticing him.
“What are you doing?” I asked. He opened his eyes with happiness. “I’m praying. I thank God for a very beautiful day at school.” Weirdo! “Well, make it fast, because people are staring at you.” “I’m done, since you interrupted me,” he said and his smile became wider. “I didn’t mean to interrupt..sorry!” I apologized. “It’s alright. So, what’s up?” I couldn’t think of anything to say other than “Nothing. I was just going to say thank you for what you’ve done for me this morning. And I just want to make it clear that I was not helping you. It was just… I was at the right place at the right time.” “No. You really helped me. You’re kind-hearted. I should be the one who’s thanking,” he said. I can’t help to laugh at his words. “Kind-hearted, eh? I was outside because of a punishment. You should stay away from me. But thanks, really. You know, I was starting to feel tired standing this morning.” I smiled. He smiled back and said, “It’s nothing. You helped me, so I helped you.” I was about to comment at this but he continued speaking. “I always remember the golden rule: ‘Do unto others what you want others to do unto you’. And you also helped me find Mrs. Reyes’ room. So, just accept my gratitude.” I answered, “You’re welcome, I guess. Uhm, the school bus is about to leave. Let’s hurry up.”
We sat together in the bus. He talked about Jesus and Jesus’ life. I don’t listen sometimes to him. But I can’t help loving his warm soft voice. He told me that they’re from the province and moved here in Manila because of his dad’s job. I asked about his family and he answered honestly. He’s the only child of his parents, like me. He’s religious and active at their church. “I need to go now. Bye!” I said as the bus stopped in front of my house. “Tomorrow is my turn of asking questions. Bye!” I nodded and got off the bus.
For the next few weeks, we always hang out. We talked about a lot of things. We always spent our time together. Lavender asked me once if we were dating and if he had kissed me already. I said no and that we’re really only friends. I’ve found out a lot of things about him. He doesn’t smoke nor drink. He’s very kind, studious and obedient. I’ve never met someone like him before. And it’s nice to meet and got to know him. Even though he always talked about God, I enjoyed his company. He told me bible stories and parables. I told him that my favorite was ‘The Good Samaritan’ because it is so like him. I found myself once asking about Mary (Maria in Tagalog), the mother of Jesus Christ who was crucified, died and resurrected. He even taught me some prayers.
One day, he told me a very familiar story from the bible. As he said the title, “Noah’s Ark”, tears started to fall down my cheeks. It used to be my favorite story of all and my mom’s. She used to read it to me all the time. It was only then, I remembered why I don’t believe in God or why I stopped believing in Him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Stop talking about Jesus! He’s not real. He’s not real!” I shouted. “Oh, no. Jesus is real. He’s like the wind, we can’t see Him but we can feel Him,” he said. “No! If He’s real, why didn’t he answer my prayers? Is He deaf or sleeping? Or maybe because He isn’t really real! Because if He’s real, my mother wouldn’t have died. I would have a mother now. He stole my mother! He stole her!”
I ran very fast. I didn’t know where I was going but I can hear Michael’s voice. And I know he’s running after me. “Maria!!” Michael called very loudly. I turned and saw him in the middle of the road. A car was running fast toward him. I tried to run and pushed him away. After a second, everything went black.
Then, I saw a light. I walked toward it. And I realized that I was in a very beautiful paradise. The sky is blue, birds chirping, green grass everywhere and everything is just wonderful and perfect. Suddenly, I heard a soft familiar voice, “Maria.” It was my mom. I was crying when I hugged and kissed her. “Mom, I miss you a lot. I love you very much!” I said. “I love you too, my dear Maria. Where’s my rosary that I have given to you?” she asked. “I threw it away.. I’m so sorry, mom. I hated Jesus for taking you away from me,” I answered. She said, “No. Jesus didn’t take me away from you. He knows I was suffering from my disease and it was time for me to go. This is a very peaceful place, Maria. I’m happy here.” “Then, let me stay here with you, mom. Tell Jesus I want to be with you always.” Mom shook her head. “Listen, Maria. You can’t stay here. It’s not time yet. You need to return to Earth. You need to go back to Dad and to your loved ones. And don’t worry I’ll always be with you, forever.” I cried very hard, knowing it’s the last time I can see her. “I have one question for you, Maria.” “What is it, Mom?” She asked me, “Do you believe in God?” I pause for a while, looked at her beautiful face and blue eyes. And I answered, “Yes. I believe.” She smiled and gave me something. “Take this with you. I love you.” It was her rosary she gave me the night she died.
Then, everything went black again. I opened my eyes and saw the familiar brown eyes that I love. Michael held me in his arms and was crying while saying, “Don’t leave me, Maria. I love you the moment I first saw you. I love you very much.” I was also crying and said, “I won’t leave you, I promise. I love you too, Michael.” I touched his face and kissed him passionately. It was only then I noticed that I was holding something in my hand. It was my mother’s rosary. And from that day on, I knew that I believe.
