Crossing The Rubicon

I wrote this piece for a competition and happily I won. I do believe that it is going to be published on the university's website/ magazine, I'm not sure. But I thought I would post it on here to see what people thought and yes if you read my other piece I have used the same stanza twice but that is only because I felt it worked better in this.

When we're between an erupting earth
and an exploding sky,
is when the choice must be made,
the sword or the glass eye?

We were lost in the cacophony,
being crushed by the currant,
so we'll march until we find clarity,
in the wake of a world so ignorant,

the die is cast,
and the walls cascaded,
we stand in the rising tide at last,
I won't leave my Olympus so degraded,

we'll show the world
our grace under pressure,
we'll show the world
our weight and measure

And when we breathe symphonies,
we'll know our work is done,
and when our wings catch fire,
we'll know we flew too close to the sun.

Heehee, I liked it. I see why you won. I like the flow you kept and I loved the description. Good job!

When we're between an erupting earth
and an exploding sky,
<deleted>is</deleted> when the choice must be made,
the sword or the glass eye?

We were lost in the cacophony,
being crushed by the currant,
so we'll march until we find clarity,
in the wake of a world so ignorant,

The die is cast,
and the walls cascaded,
we stand in the rising tide at last,
I won't leave my Olympus so degraded,

we'll show the world
our grace under pressure,
we'll show the world
our weight and measure

And when we breathe symphonies,
we'll know our work is done,
and when our wings catch fire,
we'll know we flew too close to the sun.

Well, I didn't really get the point of it, it seemed about Greek Gods, Olympus? Also I heard the story of how they lots there wings from flying to close to the sun. In the beano I think!
Some of it didn't make sense to me but all people respond to poems differently, I find the rhythmic ones are my favourite out of the bunch.