Young Writers Society

I gave him my life.
He gave me his.
It was a promise we made for then, now, and forever.
Here standing side-by-side nothing else matters.
Not our hectic past, muddled present, or hopeful future.

We live in our secret world.
One which we created.
One in which we draw up ambitions, build dreams, and crush dilemmas.
It’s our life but still our world.
Not since the countdown to Judgment Day began has a union ever been so strong.

Am I allowed to laugh?
Or should forbear lest I make Eve jealous?
How can I not smile
When with you, I can not imagine heaven?

Shoulder-to-shoulder, it is just us two against the world.
So what chance does it have?
I do feel sorry for it. We must be gentle.

Hey there. I like the way this poem sounded. It flowed well, and the imagery isn't not bad either.

I gave him my life.
He gave me his.
It was a promise we made for then, now, and forever.
Here standing side-by-side nothing else matters.
Not our hectic past, muddled present, or hopeful future.

We live in our secret world.
One which we created.
One in which we draw up ambitions, build dreams, and crush dilemmas.
It’s our life but still our world. These first few lines reminded me of Inception
Not since the countdown to Judgment Day began has a union ever been so strong.

Am I allowed to laugh?
Or should forbear lest I make Eve jealous?
How can I not smile
When with you, I can not imagine heaven?

Shoulder-to-shoulder, it is just us two against the world.
So what chance does it have? like this part
I do feel sorry for it. We must be gentle.last sentence threw me off a bit.

Very nice work!

i agree last line ?

Gentle with the world is what is meant by the author, I believe. May want to consider changing that line up or maybe writing a little more to show what you actually mean. Otherwise, I have very few things that I have against this poem. Elegantly written, very nice word selection, and superb imagery. Keep it up!