Deaf

>>>This isn't nearly as good as some of my other poems... I don't really like it, but you can decide for yourself...

Deaf

Why can’t you hear me?
Have you gone deaf?
Why don’t you see me?
I’m standing right here!

Why are you crying?
Why are you moaning?
Why don’t you hear me
Comforting you?

Mother, I’m hungry!
Can’t we make breakfast?
Where are you going,
Looking that sad?

Why are you wearing
Such a black outfit?
Have you gone deaf?
Hey, why are you sobbing?

Mother, I’m scared –
Why can’t you hear me?
Why can’t you see me?
Why don’t you answer?

Where are you driving?
Whose car is this?
Where is my car?
Why don’t we use it?

Mother, hey look!
There’s people at church,
And it’s not even Sunday!
They’re all wearing black…
Hey, why are we turning?

This is so odd; everyone’s here!
My friends and your friends
And our whole family!

Mom, that’s not nice—
You sat in a pew
That’s already full!
Now where am I
Supposed to sit?

The church is dead silent,
It’s kinda unnerving.
Who is that guy,
Walking up to the front?

“Mary-Ann Lee,”
He is saying right now.
No one is turning
Or looking my way,
Even though he just said
My full name.

Why are you crying?
Why are you sniffing?
Why can’t you hear me
Comforting you?

“Mary-Ann Lee,”
Repeats the guy in the front,
“Mary-Ann Lee; she texted while driving.”

Okay, you’ve caught me,
You’ve caught me!
So I
texted while driving –
What’s the big deal?

Why can’t you hear me?
Have you gone deaf?
I’m trying to explain –
Hey why can’t you see me?

Mother, oh mother!
I’m going insane!
Did he just say,
“May her soul rest in peace”?

Why can’t you hear me?
Why can’t you hear me?
Do you not answer…
Because I am dead?

Wow, nice

Hi-ya! I couldn't really get into this one because it was firing off questions faster than a machine gun. I do like the story line to it, the girl finds out she's really dead at the end. For me, it could be better with more imagery. I didn't feel or see anything, I just read what you typed (most of it ) Good job! Keep it up!

I like how you wrote your poem entirely in questions. It gives the reader some leeway and keeps them interested. Interaction with the reader is always good. It was unique how you wrote it along with the storyline. Good work. Keep on questioning!

-Crescent

This a beautiful, powerful poem. It's a very interesting idea of the girl realising she is in fact dead, kind of exciting and horrifying at the same time. Can I suggest spacing out the questions a bit to give the poem more....I don't know....poignancy? All the questions kind of give the piece a manic, fast, out-of-control feel, which may have been what you were going for, but I think the grief of the mother and the solemnity of a funeral could be written about more...slowly I guess. Sorry, doesn't totally make sense. Anyway, I love you poem. Thanks for posting.