My Dear Person

I really enjoyed this. It had great metaphors, and it showed what some people feel when they just know that God's there with them. I love that feeling. I guess I'll look at it stanza by stanza like some others have.

1. Amen. When someone tells me that a person thinks something because this is what they've been taught, I wonder if the person has a lack of thinking for themselves, as horrid as that might sound of me. I don't mean to sound rude, but it's true.

2. I can't even tell you how much I adore this stanza. I loved the metaphor you used there about oxygen. Very well written.

3. This stanza, to me, made me think about how you feel when you know God's with you. When you can just feel his presence right there with you. That truly wonderful feeling.

4. This stanza to me was just, eh, simply because it wasn't much of your witty and nice remarks to there questioning.

5. Oh, the presence of God described in this wonderful way. I love it.

6. Stuff laughter down your throat? I'm guessing by this you mean that just simple essence of pleasure of knowing God's there.

7. This stanza isn't anything special to me, but it's still great. It just lacks a bit of that spark the other stanzas have.

8. I feel like this stanza is telling the other people that God is protecting you, not letting you get hurt from the criticism there throwing at you. I love it.

9. You tell 'em.

10. I loooove this stanza the most. I sometimes think this, and never have the guts to say it. Wonderful.

I really enjoyed this poem as a whole. Awesome job.

Oh gosh you guys. I love you so much. xD I fell asleep, thinking that I might have one more review if I was lucky - and I wake up to a second page of comments and a bunch of likes.
<3

Hello there.

Nitpicks:

“You only believe because,
they tell you to.”
No, dear person, that would
make me a hypocrite.

- I love the attitude of the persona. xD

Ha, that answer amuses
me.

- I love the confidence of the persona here.

Have you ever had anybody
stuff laughter down
you throat?

- Typo: 'your'

“But, what if you’re wrong?
What if all of this is
in your head?”

- It's wrong to put a comma after a coordinating conjunction unless there's an interrupter. If you intended a pause, maybe an ellipsis or a 's/he paused' would help?

You’re sitting there watching me,
trembling on the floor -
the random bursts of giggles,
or suppressed squeals of delight.

- I like the wording here.

No proof?
What’s all of this then?
Hypocrisy?
You haven’t met yourself.
Insanity?
You try it - I dare you.
What I’ve been taught?
How can you teach feeling bliss?
Why believe?
How could I - how could you - not?
What if I'm wrong?

- This is really powerful. The ending is powerful too.


That is one really strong poem you've got there. I just hope it avoids controversy or something. o.o Anyway, I like how you kept the wording simple enough. The way you divided the different details in the poem is done well. And, like I said in the nitpick, I love the attitude of the persona. If you're gonna make a 'controversial' poem or something like this, you gotta be brave and confident, and I think you are here. I don't see any hole in this that would totally bring this down.

Anyway, I just had a thought: If one doesn't believe in God, then how does a blind person that colour exists? xD Because other people tell him/her that it does? It takes more than that. It'll take the blind person's trust and faith and those are the same things you need to believe in God.

Never stop writing!

This simple, amusing poem has made me happy. It's so damn true! Ahaa. I'm being serious. I couldn't find any faults with this poem. Like you said, if it was a fifteen minute job, then you can't really expect it to be flawless. But in my opinion, it was. It was a stunning piece that had me laughing and nodding along. Your voice is strong in this and it's really wonderful. Congratulations.

This. was. incredible!! It was simpler, but still had great feeling and imagery. I thought it was the perfect length- some people might have thought it was too long, and I don't usually love long poems, but this was just right. You captured everything in here wonderfully. Just wow! I am definitely liking this poem- honestly, I wish there was a love button!

I think it was too long and got a bit boring after a while. I know I'm not really part of your "audience" because I'm not all Christian, but I think the best poems are SHORT and sweet. Too long, and ranting about your unyielding love for God maybe what Christian people do, but if you considered all the people who would be reading this that weren't Christian, you could make it a bit more entertaining. That's just me though, because I really can't relate. Keep your writing up though.

I. Loved. It.
ISHA! You are epicness itself.
This pretty much sums up everything I keep trying to explain to everyone who is sceptical about my beliefs.
*starts singing You Just Gotta Believe*
(No, I don't know if that's actually a song, but it sounds like it could be, and - oh, what the heck.)
*LIKES*
I couldn't find a single thing wrong with it.
LOVED the last two lines.
I'M NOT WRONG
No, you're not.
GOD BLESS!!!

I absolutely love this! That's all I'm going to say, because, everything else has been covered!
I has some trouble with this a while ago, and I eventually came to that conclusion.
The flow to this poem it wonderful! I loved the dialog













~Allie Rose~