I'm Sorry...

The high rating is for the passing mention of a horrible thing.

Let's just say that this is from the perspective of a potential character in a potential story.

Yeah. Let's go with that.

--------------

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry

This is my mantra.

Some people would be surprised.

"You're so happy!" they might say. At two of my previous churches, I was known for my hugs. I'm bouncy. I like jokes. I like being enthusiastic about things.

I'm also putting up a front, because I'm always afraid of doing something wrong.

Ironically, bounciness often leads to doing something out of line, and then someone has to put me in check, and then I feel like a kicked puppy.

It's not the other person's fault. Most of the time, they're right.

Which is why I take it so hard.

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry

There are some anime characters who say that a lot. Only, for them it's gomennasaigomennasaigomennasaigomennasaigomennasaigomennasai...

I think some people find those characters annoying. I haven't really paid attention. And I can see why they would be irritating.

I've only ever sympathized.

With me, though, it's mostly internal. I have a writer's personality in that I bottle things up. I try to appear calm on the outside, and sometimes I think it actually takes away my ability to feel. I'll hear something really sad (this many people have died, this person was raped, this person was scarred for life) and just think, "Well, that's life. It's better to get used to it."

Then I'll cry over my mom cutting down my favorite tree.

I often think of Tatu's song, Gomenasai. Yes, they butcher the pronunciation. Yes, it's about something that I don't think I've experienced.

But-- at least for me-- the "gomen nasai" (and in case you were wondering, it means "I'm so sorry" in Japanese) part of that song is just so pervasive.

If I do this, will they like me? They seem to like it when I'm outgoing, so I'll be even more bubbly! See, look! I'm so funny, aren't I? Don't I make you laugh? You like me, don't you?

I.... I'm sorry. I was out of line. I didn't mean to..... I shouldn't have acted on impulse.

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'mso,sosorry

I bought a book the other day on personalities, by Tim LaHaye.

His name was what caught my eye-- he co-wrote the Left-Behind books, and I was obsessed with the Kids series for a while.

Basically, there's four temperaments-- The Sanguine, the Choleric, the Melancholy, and the Phlegmatic.

Even more basically, Sparky Sanguine's outgoing and loud, Rocky Choleric's opinionated and stubborn, Martin Melancholy's introverted and organized, and Phil Phlegmatic's calm and easygoing.

I was expecting to be a Melancholy-- I'm introverted, Melancholies are smart, usually write, etc.

I wasn't expecting to also be a Sanguine.

I sorta refused to admit it at first, but as I looked at the Sanguine's character flaws, I recognized myself more and more.

Sparky charges forward without thinking, then regrets his actions.

Sparky flies off the handle, then apologizes profusely.

Sparky loves people.

I haven't had a big blow-up in a long time, but I still tend to act before I think.

...which is odd, since I'm an introspective thinker.

And then Martin Melancholy's attributes kick in, and I beat myself up over and over, still telling myself "That was stupid" long after everyone else has probably forgotten about it.

I am maturing. I am getting better. But I'm not over my insecurities yet.

Please forgive me?

I didn't mean it.....

I'm sorry......

AH!! Saving another spot! I want to review this one too! (I can relate to the I'm Sorry in a big way!)

I have to go to work!!!!!

~FW~

You might be interested to learn (if you didn't already know) that the four temperaments — Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic — have been around for a very long time, though they were particularly prevalent during the Victorian Era. The original source for the temperaments came from the Ancient Greeks (and maybe even earlier, though it was the Greek Hippocrates who wrote it down and developed it into a medical theory) who believed that there were four bodily fluids that influenced one's health, personality, and emotions: blood (sanguine), yellow bile (choleric), black bile (melancholic), and phlegm (phlegmatic). If they were out of balance, the only way to correct them was to remove the excess amounts, which was why bloodletting was so common a remedy for so many ills for so long.

And that was a lot of parenthesis. XD

Overall though, I really don't have much to say about the actual piece itself aside from the nitpick that the string of italicized "I'm sorry"s was a bit too wide for the page and so stretched it. The character's voice here is very strong, well-developed, and easy to understand and therefore easy to relate to. The voice here is so human, and it was those little details, like mentioning how they cried when their mother cut down their favorite tree and yet felt nothing when hearing about horrible things in passing, that really made this piece for me.

I hope to see more.

First of all I would like to say that I found this piece extremely interesting and easy to relate to! (I could have wrote most this in application to myself! Your not stalking me are you?)

Nit Picks & Such:

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry

Um... I get what your trying to do here but you might want to space them out so they are bit more readable. It is hard on the eyes to read them the way they are now. (I'm Sorry)

It's not the other person's fault. Most of the time, they're right.

Which is why I take it so hard.

Try putting this together. Something like... "Most of the time, they're right, which is why I take it so hard."
Or you could change the 'which' to a 'this'. ("This is why I take it so hard.")

I'll hear something really sad (this many people have died, this person was raped, (add an and here)this person was scarred for life) and just think, "Well, that's life.

They seem to like it when I'm outgoing, so I'll be even more bubbly! (Drop the 'more bubbly' and change it to 'bubblier' and your sentence will read better.)

Sparky charges forward without thinking, then regrets his actions.

This would work better, "Sparky charges forward without thinking, then will regret his actions. " [color=#0000BF]Maybe...[/color]

I liked this because I can easily relate to it. I am allot like this character. (Go figure!)

Well Done, and please let me know if I am nit picking to much.
~FW~