Gazebo

Gazebo

Red dress twirls
Back against the cold grey stone wall
Shoes gliding across the placid marble floor
Like swans on a lake in the summer
Warm hands around mine
My hair light as a feather
Being blown about
On the scent of a summer breeze
Flowing through the room
Twisting around the grand, royal columns
Like a ribbon on that small girl's hat
She watches me dancing
Hoping someday that she might grow up
And live a fairy tale like mine

wow. the imagery was stunningly beautiful. this poem was perfect but for one minor flaw i see...

Being blown about
On the scent of a summer breeze
Blowing through the room

blown? blowing? within three lines.
sorry, it jarred my ears and i'm delicately picky

i believe i'm saving this. i loved the ending...

The imagery was beautiful. I love the way it flows: almost dreamily. Apart from the 'blown' and 'blowing' so close together, I can't offer any advice.

I loved it!

~Jacquie~

I'll basically agree with the above posters. It was a beautiful piece and an enjoyable read.

Brian

I also agree the imagery was beautiful, and the flow was wonderful

Love it....it flows...it's like a trail of thought, and I like it a lot

Nice descriptions and it flows quite well.

Thank you very much! I have changed the "blowing" to "flowing" now. I hope that sounds better. Thank you very much for the compliments though!

This is really gorgeous... it brought back some memories. Thank you!!! You made me happy to read it!!!

Agree with everyone else. One suggestion: use punctuation at the end of lines. The fact that you can write a simple, etheral poem without a single person finding some flaw with your "writing style" is a credit to you and your work. Congrats.