My Own Worst Enemy

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Here is another one of my NaPo poems. I changed it a bit. All suggestions and comments are greatly appreciated! :D

~

Like a midnight breeze,
She whispers in my ear,
Telling me all the things,
That I don't want to hear.

“They don’t want to talk to you,
They barely know your name,
Wondering why you’re still talking,
You’re only bringing shame.”

Her words are like a faucet,
Turning on my tears,
Slowly letting them escape,
But holding onto my fears.

When I caress confidence,
She hisses in my ear,
Shattering my happiness,
Like a broken mirror.

She makes me feel naive,
And completely insane,
Reminding me, my dreams,
I'll never obtain.

I try to ignoring her words,
But she only screams louder,
Echoing throughout my head,
I can tell she’s feeling prouder.

There are moments when she is silent
And I start to feel at ease,
My confidence begins building,
Only for her to impede.

I wonder when this will end,
So my life can begin,
When will she leave,
And allow me joy within.
Last edited by silentwords on Fri Apr 29, 2011 8:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D




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i like it a lot!
i think it's every one worst enemy! specially girls!!!
i like your flow and the emotion there very strong!, nice poem you accomplished :D

Favorite lines
"Her words are like a faucet,
Turning on my tears,
Slowly letting them escape,
But holding onto my fears."....

keep up and update us with more!!! :)
<3 Princess of Neverland <3




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Yeah, I think it definetly is. It sucks.. :(
I'm glad you liked the peom though, thanks alot! (:
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D




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wow im impressed! when i read the first line i was sucked in :)
Remember me for who I am, Not for who I was




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I really like this (I'm a sucker for rhyming poems!) I liked that the emotion was still strongly present and none of it was lost in the effort to rhyme! It was also a very interesting idea that I'm sure a lot of people can relate too. Great job!!! (:




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Aahahah, thank you both! :)
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D




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Oooh I loooove this!
Kinda reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back. I'll post it here sometime. I love your work though :)

Nafe X
A writer is someone who finds writing more diffucult than everyone else.-Not quite sure who said this but it's kinda true don't you think.




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Awe, thanks! (:
Oh really, you should post it. I'd love to read it :D
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D



I like anchovies~ but nobody calls me that.
— alliyah