Fakebook-Chapter 1

3 posts

Want to read any further?

  • No 50%
  • Yes 50%

Total votes: 4

User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 1

[url]Chapter-1[/url]


I've always thought of the Internet, especially social networking sites like Orkut, Facebook, and MySpace as resembling a vagina. Think about it! The more people use one of these sites, or the Internet for that matter, the larger it gets. There are some that take the interaction seriously, and others that treat it as a lark. Also, you may not figure out the person on the other end until it's too late – because all you see is the front end of a very complicated system. Once you start playing with it – it's really hard to stop. Some would play with it all day if they could, and if you don't take protective measures you could be exposed to a virus. That goes for whether the system is a woman or the Internet.

World-wide-web has experienced an explosion in networking opportunities. Actually, the spread of Social Networking Sites was kind of like an epidemic virus. Orkut was the rage of Brazil, and then it rapidly spread through India. MySpace and Facebook made it a global crisis – or popular past-time depending on how you looked at it. Facebook addiction- a simple social networking site made by Mark Zukerberg made in blue was something that, like everyone, even I wasn’t able to get rid off.

Fake profiles were pretty easy to make for anyone - Sign up, create fake email, sign up again in facebook and browse some copied picture online and fake identity is ready. I had two more profile apart from Eiggy Piggy, as there was no other alternative for me to increase Farmville neighbors and to illegally transfer money in Poker. Fake identity opened up a whole new potential for masquerading in new identities, spying on others, monitoring people, collecting information, interfering in the personal lives etc. I enjoyed everything about it!

My problem, however, was a dreadfully slow internet connection.

“Fug this service provider!” I said aloud, breaking my thoughts. A snail could beat my connection in a race without breaking a sweat. I pay my provider too much for this shitty slow connection.

When would our country advance from internet to extranet? So that we can have internet connection for free. Is there life on other planets? Can they see me, or contact me through this connection?

I sighed deeply to calm myself down. Why was I so bothered by a slow connection, or the Internet for that matter? Global warming is hurting my home planet, I've read about it everywhere, and I'm worried about a slow connection, and life on other planets?

After a brief wait, Facebook site orbited to display my profile stats, and I sighed in relief. There were 27 updates 16 New messages, 5 friend request and 9 recent notifications. On closer look, I found that, all the friend request were from unknown guys about which I wasn’t bothered at all. Neither, I clicked accept nor Ignore.

Well, I was beginning to feel friendlier with Facebook. However, my friends list was too bare. There were only sixteen friends among which fourteen were female. It wasn’t at all bad for a person who joined week ago. I smiled. Maybe some of my friend’s requests from female would come through.

Shalaka- my online Orkut friend, who forced me to make account on facebook because, everyone else in the world was switching to facebook was supposed to meet me in facebook. I clicked on her display picture to see if she was online. It was likely she was still on. I went through her wall to see latest happenings. Her last post was posted over an hour ago. Luck wasn't on my side. She had already logged out.

Frustrated, I decided to leave her a poston wall so that everybody could see. I hate being bored more than anything. It was a sign of a boring person. Hastily, I typed out the message.

Hey Shalaka, Why did you leave an hour ago? I want an apology now.
You were supposed to wait for me. Look, I'm online...[:x]

I had to resort to scheduling meetings in advance because I had a small friends list. Otherwise, I'd have to waste my moments in cyberspace being bored out of my mind. Therefore, time for me was to build more friends.

I clicked my 'Home' icon in the top corner of my page and it continued notified me that still 16 new messages were waiting for me. I started reading in order.

Most of the entries in inbox were replies from anonymous friend requests that I had made. Nandita, Shikha, Prachi… None of the name was familiar to me. As I went to read the first unread message, I noticed Sharkhead message was also there. So, I switched to read the content first.

Eiggy Piggy! I’ve added u dt does not mean, I’ve permitted u 2 snd frnd rquest 2 my frnds(girls). Stay in ur godamn limits n stop acting lyk a wuss who has seen woman aftr decades.

I remember, he was the person whom I added because he had large number of sexy-selected-chicks in his friend list. But, how did he come to know my clever act to send friend request to all the girls in his friend list? God only knows! I decided to reply him harshly because he was no more useful to me.

..Who the hell are you Sharkhead?
I’ll give friend request to who so ever I wish. Who the fuck are you to stop me? Look dude, I don’t want to see your name again in my message box. Are you going to delete me or do I have to complete this task?..

This was the biggest blunder that I must have not done. I left the message for SHARKHEAD, and then continued to take a look at the remaining messages.

“Oh My God” I swore. “Who's this? Do I know you? Who the hell are you to give me friend request?” There were different replies with the same central theme. Who was I?

What was it with the same idiotic question coming from all the people I sent a friend request to? Didn’t they have another question to ask me? Of course, they were strangers to me, but they don't know if I'm a stranger to them.

I began to type a formulaic response to each of them. They were nothing special to me. I wasn't about to give them a personalized reply.

..Hi there, this is Waman..
..Actually, I found your profile is damn interesting..[:p]
..So, can be friends? ..J

I COPIED and PASTED same response to each and every 'who's this?' response in my Inbox. My approach was cliché, which people made when approaching strange girls in the SNS world, but none of their bland responses to my friend requests deserved a unique pickup line. Girls received hundreds of “Hi, hello, can we be friends?” in their Inbox every week. There was really no reason for any girl to take special interest in my Can be friends? Why would she add me to her profile unless my approach was something extraordinary then rest of the world?

I continued the tedious approach of pasting and sending my response to message received. I was beginning to get bored when I noticed an interesting reply in stylish font, which gave me clue she was different and bit creative then rest of the world.

◊ Nihasa ◊ : wHy I’m dA oNe wHo gOt fRiEnD ReQuEsT fRoM yEw? wHatz SOo sPeCial ‘bOut mEh?

It took me few minutes to understand her uncommon font style. The message reeked of a BIG FISH with its 'trying to be different approach'. I needed to write her the most interesting pick up line possible, otherwise she may never reply again. If I gave her the right reply, it would start a chain reaction of relation chemistry. Therefore, I decided to analyze her info closely with a hope to find useful information.

As everyone checks everyone else, the profile sends out varying signal. I was expert in analyzing profile-Friend count of less then 50 means “Hi! I’m new to facebook” and massive friend count of more then 300 friends means “Don’t expect me to give you too much attention.” Friend count of more then 800 friends for a girl means “You can add me and I’m sure to accept your friend request. Because, I’m FAKE and love to make friends.” A nicely photoshoped wall indicate-“I’m so weird, wacky and wonderful”. Photo shots update every hourly basis means “Check me out. I’m cool” and if she has tones of comment on her most of the photograph means “She’s member of online clan, who have singed a pact to comment on each other photographs/ comments regularly” Nihasa had 709 friends. Was she fake? Chances were low as she had her parents in her relation too. But, these days girls are smart enough to make there parents account on behalf of them to keep themselves safe from unknown trouble. It’s not quite job for children to manage parents photograph. I ignored all the thoughts and read her ‘About Me’. It was something like this:

About Me:
hey guyz...welcum to d stupidest profile u wud have ever read...
go on
go on read ....
DUALITY IS MY PERSONAL TRAIT AND BIPOLAR I AM...ummm no i guess i am a split personality...oh my god which one if me wrote this..?? This or that…???
I am a born gothic cannibal.. I ate d nurse's ear whn i was born and den she dropped me...Dats why I have concussions I guess(bitch the nurse was)... I was sent to juvei for it ate 4-5 kids in a week… so they sent me to concentration camp where I hit it off well wid d Nazi's and secure d most comfortable position I cud find in d gas chamber...but accidently I farted in the gas tube and sadly all Nazi's died...(hey not cuz of mah farting cuz all d poisonous gas went to their side) and Woah I was hailed as the saver...den to cheer mahself up I gulp down two kids and again I was sent to juvie… dere they removed mah teeth n replaced dem with rubber so I cudn't eat nother kid...sooooo bad for me !!..but den mah saviour JOKER comes and saves me and gives me a set of brand new stainless steel teeth coated with orbit everlast..so dat Ii dnt have ne prblm but nw I am out..and m gonna get you too..HUHAAHAHAHHA.

hmmm..well I would first like you to noe very well that..Ii do not add strangers to my friendlist but if u r another long lost soul of green who is gagging and crackling like an old fart i will surely add you..but for that you'll have to say..I _______(your name) AM AN ASSHOLE...now...you must be thinking why would you read such a lame profile..of a girl..who as a matter of fact is brainless git..and doesn't really have a cracking sense of humor..but just because i am gonna start all my jokes with your name does not suggest that i don't have a good sense of humor..!! anyways do with it..>>r u still dere or passed away?? anyways..i love to goof around in any situation i can..and i love to eat ice-creams and chocolates.. i love IRRITATING people...its one of my favorite passtimes..anyways..i love photography, poetry(well mine ofcourse..) lately i've started filmmaking i mean small documentaries... I love to read(and you thought this girl has no brains hehehe) hey i also love to make fool outta myself gives me reasons to laugh.. i love to laugh....and i love to eat.. and i love to shit and i love to sleep too.. and lastly i love to make people believe in themselves and laugh out any situation they can and i love to discover hidden talents..i love spending time with kids,with animals(from there i get my animal instincts),with all grandmas and granpa's of this world and i sooooooo verry much love to BEAT MY KID BROTHER TO PULP!!!but still i love him..i love pizza,i love my friends,i love my writings, i love myself..


now go on read other things in my profile too.!!! or if you r such a looser go dunk your head in the sewage line of my toilet!!!
NOTE:-psychopaths,retarded losers,jerks wid freaky fake profiles, sick attitude bitches, fucked up personalities.....stop messaging me...coz m nouh in a zillion yrs gonna add u crackpots...!{N ALL D 1 WID-"I M SVIT CUTE N LUV TO MAKE FRNZ TYPES... plz lay off!}


Like most of the girls her photos were under security. I further scrolled down her page to read other details. Contact, Forest Gump, Castaway, Namaste London, Death Note were her favorite movie. ‘Wow’ I jumped with excitement, when I noticed that she too like Mozart, Vivaldi, and Beethoven like me. Isn’t a person supposed to see only thing which he wants to see? Her interested were Reading, watching Discovery and History Channel.

Her favorite quotation were-If I have to choose between defending the wolf or the dog, I choose the wolf, especially when he is bleeding. --By Jaques Verges. My Heaven is your hell –- By Lordi and Am I an Angel who thinks she’s a women or a women who thinks she’s an angel—Unknown source.

I was amazed that she did not seem to be just another mindless teenage girl. We actually seemed to have a lot in common- Craziness, insanity, non-sense in sensible way. Damn interesting girl!! I studied her info carefully until the right comment popped into my mind, but then was surprised to see Sharkhead’s post on her wall.

Sharkhead: Darling whr r u thes days? Dead or alive..?
U kno? Sumbdy is missin’ u lyk hell..


Sharkhead was obviously in her friends list. Why did Sharhead threatened me? Did Nihasa complain him about my friend request? If yes, then what was their relationship? Is there something fishy between Sharkhead and Nihasa? There was also another possibility that Sharkhead was a fake profile of Nihasa or vice versa. It wasn't unusual for people to make a fake profile so they could spy on their near and dear ones. The possibilities were endless.

Fug it! I thought as I recalled that my prime task to reply Nihasa, not think about Sharkhead. I clicked on the ‘message’ icon and helplessly stared at the downloading page. My keyboard waited for me to come up with something witty and funny to say but I came up with lame lines.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …Crazy Nihasa !!!..Actually, I've never met crack girl like you. So, didn't want to miss the chance. That's why I gave you a friend request. Is that a problem?...

I read through it several dozen times, making sure it sounded upbeat and friendly. Exhaling in a big gust I clicked ’send’. I suddenly felt as if I had just run a mile. My cherub arrow had been shot. Then, I proceeded to paste and send the remaining 'who's this' responses in my INBOX. I was able to make it through five minutes before I gave in and hit the refresh icon. I felt excitement and apprehension bubble in my stomach when I saw the tiny notification proclaiming that I had ‘new messages‘. My heart sank when I saw it was just the missed message from Nihasa. It was totally black. Maybe in hurry, she clicked SEND by mistake.

After few minutes of pasting and sending, I noticed that there was one more new message waiting for my attention. I was sure, it was Nihasa this time, and therefore, I felt restless. If it was fish then wasn't going to get away – I acted fast. Message read.

◊ Nihasa ◊ : PiGGy! I'm nOt cRaCk oKaY !!.. dOn’T bE oVeTsMaRt n’ tell Nihasa…wHy yEw gAvE mEh fRiEnD rEqUeSt ??

Asking me the reason why I gave her friend request? I laughed. Generally, there were two types of girls. Types 1 were the dumb girls that liked to pretend they were intelligent, and Type 2 was the smart ones that everyone ignored. Type 2 girls could fool anybody, but they were an almost extinct species. Nihasa seemed to be Type 1.

I actually didn't care if Nihasa specifically was added to my friends list or not. She was just another name among the endless sea of fish that I was trying to catch on facebook. Girls, though, wanted to know the reason. They wanted to know exactly what it was that made them special, and stick out from the rest of the fishes. I knew girls better than anyone. They insist you tell them you love them – even if you've already told them a thousand times before. Who will teach them- love is something to be felt by heart rather then ear. They'll say, “Darling, you didn't say I love you.” That was Type 1 girl. So, I gave her what she wanted – no, deserved.

«Ξιggע Piggע™»:… Baby, nothing special about you. As usual, male habit. One friend request to a girl makes no difference to me...

If I had answered her directly it would have been Game Over. Girls didn't usually like directness or begging. However, and interesting or absurd comment was like putting an ear bud in a lionesses ear – cent percent response guaranteed. It didn't even matter if she was single or committed. She wouldn't resist.

◊ Nihasa ◊ :Nuffin’ sPeCial ‘bout meh? Nihasa Is sAd aT tHis..
dEr aRe tHouSand OthErs iN fAcEbOoK. wHy yEw gAve fRiEnd ReqUest tO oNlY mEh?..


Why only me? I laughed out loud .She wanted to hear something good about her so she could feel different. Girls were always asking for a reason for a friend request. So, Nihasa would get her reply. I was so concentrated on the stubbornly vacant computer screen that I jumped when my cell phone rang, shrill and demanding. I looked at my caller id before I answered; must really have sounded panicked. I took a deep breath as I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear as I prepared to type.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …Let me tell you frankly there is nothing special about you. As I told you before, one click is not a big deal for guys. Who knows, might Tammy and Raul are going to call you MUMMY…

This absurd scrap would surely bring a halt in her mind by creating CHAOS. Chaos Theory always worked for me.Tammy and Raul would surely make her think for a moment. Confusion would bring out the real her. First, she'll pretend and after that real she would send direct question. I kept my emotions in check as I brought up the messages. It was Nihasa.

◊ Nihasa ◊ : TaMmY n’ RaUL? wHo da hELL aRe tHey?

It was a straight question. The Big Fish was almost reeled in. It was going to be a fun day. I held my breath as I typed.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:... Nihasa! How dare you to respond to your beloved children in such a way?...

◊ Nihasa ◊ :bELoVEd cHiLDreN?
hELL-Oooo..wHat da hEck aRe yOu tALkiNg? I’m sTiLL SiNgLe..


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Me too Still single. Cheerzzz!! ;)
No heck, they aren’t your children, instead they are mine..


◊ Nihasa ◊ : aRe yEw mArRIeD pIgGy?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Yeah!! My parent’s say-so. Child marriage you know? But I've never met her. Who knows, maybe it’s you. :P.. Actually I was testing your luck by that friend request.

◊ Nihasa ◊ :TeStIng Nihasa’s LuCk?!
gReaT mAn! ..hOw n’ wHaTz da NEEd tO tEsT?..


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: They are the names of my children in the future. Who knows, you may become their so called "MOM" and my wife in the near future. That's why I thought I must give you a friend request and test your luck.

◊ Nihasa ◊ :OoHhhh!!! tHaTZz pReTTy DeViL tHouGht…wHat yEw dO Mr.PiGgY? aRe yEw tHinKin’ tO mArRy Nihasa?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…No way!!! Miss Flirt. After reading your passion is Flirting. I'm Damn scared to marry you…

◊ Nihasa ◊ :eXcUse mEh !! !!..I dOn’t fLiRt, I jUst xPress mYsElf cOmpLeTely..tHaT’s aLL.. iF yEw CaLL iT fLiRtIn’, tHeN iT’s YoUr pRobLeM.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …You don't Flirt? ..Wow!! I guess, that’s what is common between us…

◊ Nihasa ◊ :Lolzzz...Lil' devil! yEw dIDn’T aNsWeR mEh wHaT yEw Do?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…I do that thing...
Which nobody can do in this world until they are God gifted...


◊ Nihasa ◊ :Hmmm..sOuNdS iNtReStIiN’! Buh, wHaTz tHat eXActLy?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Nihasa, I bet that you can do my job…

◊ Nihasa ◊ : mIgHt bE pOsSiBlE. ..bUh wHaT yEw dO? Trust me, and Go ahead.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …I'm afraid you won't like it because most people don’t like what I do…

◊ Nihasa ◊ : LiKEe iT?
eVErYbOdY iZ uNiQuE..eVen tHeIr bRain, tHeiR tHoUgHtz aNd ThEiR wOrk..I mEaN eVeRyThInG... aRe yOu sWeEpEr? LOMA


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:..No!... Even worse than that.
Literally, I don’t do anything…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : yOu mEaN..yOu dO nOtHiNg..?
I dId’nt uNdeRsTaNd yew..


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: ...As I told you before.
You won’t like it…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : iTz nOt lYk tHaT pIgGyL..
PLeAsE .. wIlL yEw eXpLaIn iT tO mEh?


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…You people spend time studying, playing, watching etc... You don't have any value of time.
I spend time carefully. I watch time floating away.
I bet you can't do that...


◊ Nihasa ◊ : HMmmm…cOnFuSeD pErSoN..
eVeN I wAz LyK yEw yEaRz bAcK..wE UPSC pEoPle aRe qUiTe dIsCiPLinEd..We dOn’T hAvE tImE tO wAsTe tImE..


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …Whatever !! I don’t care..
I’m totally happy with myself!...


◊ Nihasa ◊ : OH gAwD!! PiGgY, dON’t yEw sTuDy oR do sOmEtHinG lIkE tHaT aS a pArT tImE ?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:...Of course I study
But, a day before an exam. :D
One night fight..:P
Do you like one night fight?... ;)


◊ Nihasa ◊ : Hmmm..dOuBle mEaNiNg tAlKZz..:P
hEaRd ‘bOut oNe nIgHt sTaNd.
bUh oNe nIgHt fIgHt ??
wHy dO yEw StUdY da nIgHt bEfOrE Xamz ??


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …Excitement of one night fight is a nerve racking experience...
You wouldn’t understand. It's useless to study days before…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : uSeLeZz wHY ??

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:..Me thinks..
The more you study, the more you learn..
The more you learn, the more you remember..
The more you remember, the more you get confused..
The more you get confused, the more you forget..
The more you forget, the less you have in mind..
So, what's the need?
Even after studying so much you have even less in your head…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : InTeReStInG aNaLoGy !!

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:… Expected and totally unexpected..That's Piggy!… :D

◊ Nihasa ◊ : wHaTZz yERr nAmE Mr. PiGgY ?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …For Now PiGgY 's isn’t bad…

◊ Nihasa ◊ :OKZz!! eViL DeViL !! The day will come when you'll reveal your orignal name ... tHe WiLL sUrElY CoME wHeN yEw’ll ReVEal yEwRr oRiGnAl nAmE tO Nihasa..iTzzz pRoMiSOoo !..
TiLL tHeN PiGgYz fInE fOr mEh.


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …Day? I’m, sure you are immortal cuz you have to wait till eternity.
Urghh!!..You don't know me…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : yEw nEveR gAvE mEh a cHaNcE tO kNoW yAh..

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: …This time you have one.
Don't forget to approve my friend request…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : dO yEw tHiNk I’lL aPpRovE?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:… Sure !! Love and golden opportunity knocks only once...

◊ Nihasa ◊ :hEY DeVil...gOt tO gO, moMZz yeLLiNg..:( .

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…That’s their work. .
Tell me something that I don't know…


◊ Nihasa ◊ : sOmEtHiNg tHaT yOu dOn’t kNoW..
HMmm... fLiRtZz tUrNzz Me OnZzz..:D


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: ...From now on you will always stay ON condition.

◊ Nihasa ◊ : gOiNg tO sTaY mOrE hErE?

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…I don't know. Why you asked?...

◊ Nihasa ◊ : tHeN lEtZz lOg oUt tOgEtHeR...
wHeN I cOuNt 1, 2, 3…wE bOtH wILL lOg oUt tOgEtHeR.


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…What's the logic?...

◊ Nihasa ◊ :1..

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…I don't understand.

◊ Nihasa ◊ :2...

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Wait…

◊ Nihasa ◊ :3. .

Damn it! She logged out. I was having fun. Why did she have to leave? Now I'll be bored, My thoughts grumbled.
It was possible she was still logged on and monitoring me. It was just like a girl to do that! A study has found that women are finding it increasingly difficult to move on once a relationship has ended and that facebook provides them the perfect means to stalk their ex-boyfriends. Was she stalking me on very first talk?

I resorted to updating my profile to stave off an onslaught of boredom. I had just begun to add pictures in my album to make my profile more attractive. Suddenly, I noticed there was one more new message. I was anxious to see if it was Nihasa again.

Kanika Sharma: I'm sorry. Can't be friends.
I don't talk to strangers. .


Who the heck was Kanika? Why was she sorry, I immediately thought. I tried to rack my brain at the name, or a remembrance of a profile, but nothing stuck out. Ohh ! Kanika doesn’t talk to strangers. That means she's a sweet and simple girl, I thought excitedly.

One more fish! This one would be a challenge. Simple girls didn't know all the bitchy tricks other girls used. They were typically happy with limiting friends to their own inner circle. She was going to be a tough fish. I was up for the challenge. It felt good to understand others.

What if you can't understand yourself. Maybe Nihasa was right. I'm a confused person, my thoughts wandered. I pushed the thought that bothered me to the side and focused on Kanika.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:...I know ma'am.
But until you talk with me. How can you know me?...


Simple girls needed simple replies. Flirting wouldn't work. This simple scrap could end up in a friend list with reason, though.

Kanika Sharma: Sorry!
I don't want Friendship with you


She was sorry? She was messing with me! Yet, a genuine and strong reason might convince her. A simple girl wasn't easy to trap, but they never left go once they were reeled in -- no matter what you did or were.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Ok ma'am.
But take one look around, all your friends.
They were all once strangers to you, like I am now.
Give me a chance, and I'll prove to be a good friend…


Again same reply came, may be her parents already warned her about the threats of unknown person on facebook. I was sure she was instructed to stay away from unknown people like me.

Kanika Sharma: I'm Sorry.
Don't scrap me again.


Don't scrap me again.’ Does she really mean that? My thoughts grumbled. She could have ignored the scrap, but she didn't. She wanted me to be her friend, or she wouldn't have bothered to reply back.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Ok ma'am.
I'm glad you didn’t add me.
In fact, I'm happy…


I resorted back to the CHAOS theory. She was expecting me to be upset. That wasn't the case. Eiggy Piggy means unexpected and totally unexpected. That's was me.

Kanika Sharma: Then stay happy forever. Bye!

Kanika was as sour as grapes, but I'm not the fox. She's in Eiggy Piggy zone. How can she leave so early that too without my permission? She's not going to leave until I want her to, I thought determined to land this fish.

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:…Thank you ma'am!
For making me happy.
But before you leave, listen to one thing..
.

Kanika Sharma: I don't want to listen to anything.
I said no friendship. That’s It! No more arguments.


ォΞιggע Piggע™サ:… I'm glad you didn’t add me. Actually, I like girls like you who are too careful.. Always stay same…

Kanika: Done? Bye now!

ォΞιggע Piggע™サ: ..Facebook is like a road. You can bump into anyone but would you speak to all sundry? Younger people just don’t get it. You can never trust anyone until you know them properly. Do you know my real Identity? Hacker, Fakes, Terrorist…I can be anyone. ..Booooom!!! About whom even you can't think… Hahahaha !!!! Have a Great life ahead Kanika!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy Reading! :)
To be Continued.. :D
..veni, vidi, no vici..




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1813
Reviews 38
hey!
Fakebook is quiet interesting and intriguing. It's very different from anything I've read recently, so I for one would definitely be waiting for the the next addition to the novel. The plot is great too.
Other than the intriguing part there is nothing more...I mean your first mistake is when you didn't write anything in the 'synopsis' and 'plot' areas. If you don't give the reader any clue to what he/she is going into, they are not going to like and some wouldn't even bother going further. You need to give the reader what he/she wants with a personal touch of your own.
I really think you should complete the necessary 'synopsis' and 'plot' to evoke some curiosity in them.....This will really help you in long run.
Don't go too further in using 'text or chat' language because, excess use may ruin your effect and we don't want that. Stick to simple English, mostly writing a novel, try and stick to basics.
These advices are given purely as a reader and not as a critique, but don't worry, at YWS you are going to encounter them pretty soon...
Hope this helps you and keep writing. I really, truly can't wait for the next chapter.
By-the-way welcome to YWS.....
-Rooh-
Spoiler
Checkout the different shades of sunset...
topic84708.html


Need a review??? Click here! http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic87443.html#p913699%20URL%20Review%20Bar...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 19733
Reviews 351
Hi! So, I liked your first paragraph or two. It was an interesting, funny metaphor. After that, it went downhill; until I simply couldn't bring myself to read any more coloured chatspeak.

I see what you were trying to do here with the plot and such- I just don't think it's executed. I honestly can't tell what's supposed to be taken seriously or not. It's hard to read. I can't find any real characters or plot to connect to.

Overall, I'd say your idea was certainly original- but I don't think it's novel material. I wish you luck on future works!

-Tori
Honey, you should see me in a crown.



mashed potatoes are v a l i d
— Liminality