Angst

Stronger than a hurricane
Our teenage angst
Brings us pain

Raging within ourselves
No one understands
No one cares

Where they see no problems
They see no pain
But our pain is so great

Pull back our sleves
You’ll find scars
That took years to carve

Pull back our blankets
You’ll find tear stained sheets
It’s the only way we can sleep

Pull back our skin
You’ll find war storming
In our hearts and minds

To be strong
Is to have no fear
Release no tears

But no one’s
Giving us the tools
To be so

We’re just mediocre teenagers
Crazed about our pain
Never growing up

Wow. This was pretty powerful, for the most part, and enjoyable in its depressingness.

I think you ended it a bit abruptly though. It feels like it's still hanging - to me, anyway. I might suggest adding another stanza and ending it differently, so we have a sense of closure to the poem.

They see no pain
But our pain is so great

I didn't like the repetition here. No pain, our pain. Hmm. Would suggest modifying the first line to something like, "They see nothing" or "They look but do not see," etc., etc, or modifying the second adequately as well.

Overall, well done; I liked this and I'm sure most teenagers can relate.

I really love this poem. I can relate to it. I like the flow of the poem and I thought your words were very powerfeul.This is a very deep and true poem. Good job! If you would like me to review or read anything else of yours please PM me.

I really love this poem. I can relate to it. I like the flow of the poem and I thought your words were very powerfeul.This is a very deep and true poem. Good job! If you would like me to review or read anything else of yours please PM me.

Pull back our sleeves. Not selves. Thats the only mistake. This poem rocks my socks!

Rascalover wrote:Stronger than a hurricane,
Our teenage angst
Brings us pain.

It's Raging within us.
No one understands.
No one cares.

Where they see no problems,
They see no pain,
our pain is so great.

Pull back our sleeves,
and you’ll find scars
that took years to carve. I feel as if this poem should speak for all teenagers, and not all teenagers cope with their problems by cutting. I think you should say something that we all can actually relate to.

Pull back our blankets ,
and you’ll find tear stained sheets.
It’s the only way we can sleep. How about ' it's the only way we can go to sleep'?

Pull back our skin,
and you’ll find a war storming
In our hearts and minds.

To be strong,
is to have no fear,
release no tears.

But no one is
Giving us the tools Tell us what these tools are. Love? Care? Maybe even medication?
To do so.

We’re just mediocre teenagers
Crazed about our pain,
Never growing up.

I liked it. It's very true. Keep writing!