Light the Torches

Hey everybody! I want to see just as many reviews as there are views! So if you click it, review it! Say what you have to say! Let me know what you think! Thanks!

Light the torches
I’m coming out
Light the torches
Scream and shout.
Light the torches
My blood is hot
Light the torches
Now take your shot.
Light the torches
While my tears fall
Light the torches
Put my head on a wall.
Light the torches
Shout out your fame
Light the torches
I’ll whisper your name.
Light the torches
When you hear my call
Light the torches
And burn down the hall.
Light the torches
When you hear a sound
Light the torches
And sleep in the ground.
Light the torches
You knew I would come
Light the torches
Make yourself numb.

Darn it. Because of the rhyming, I thought it was going to be a happy poem. But then I read it. And now I can honestly say you have ruined my mood for the rest of the day. So, congratulations, you got your point across quite clearly.
The only other thing I have to say is that you spelled light wrong a lot. (I'm kidding. Well, actually, I'm not, light is spelled wrong, but I understand that this was intentional...It was intentional, right?)
Lovely poem, you have there. I viewed and reviewed, just like you asked.
Keep writing!

I really liked how you used red for 'lite'. It instantly caught my eye
One thing; what is the story exactly about? Because I was trying to create an image in my head, but it was a bit difficult because everything was all over the place.
Or is it supposed to be like that?
I really enjoyed it anyway. Keep making pieces like that

Kirah

What exactly is the purpose to this song? I think it's a beautiful song and you are an amazing poetry writer, but what exactly is lighting the torches? I feel like this poem is one of the poems in English class that I think the writer did a great job on but I don't understand it. And was there a purpose to making the lite in red? I suppose it could have something to do with fire.

But it was a great song and extremely well written. I wasn't going to comment on it because I was just curious why it was titled the way it was, but I hope I helped what you said happen:)

Hi! So I really enjoyed the poem and what it's communicating. However, I can't interpret if your use of "lite" instead of "light" is intentional? If so, why is it this way? I'm just very curious about this. Also:

Lite the torches
You knew I would come
Lite the torches
Make yourself numb.

I really like these lines, but I wonder if the sets of rhyming lines could be divided into stanzas, or if there could be more punctuation to help the flow?

This makes me curious to what kind of topic you're writing about. It definitely sounds like a tragedy. But what does "Lite the torches" connote in meaning to you? Why "lite"? We're reading it, and we're just getting the general feeling, and general ideas. It kind of sounds like a rebellion, but since we're the readers, we can't be sure. I'd like to hear something a little more in depth about this poem before I can give a much more critical analysis.

Wow! I'm sooo happy for all your comments! I actually thought I was being smart when I spelled lite.....haha....I had a stupid blonde moment! (even though I'm not blonde!)

I was actually thinking about Shrek when I wrote this, how when he comes out, people automatically arm themselves in defense. I kind of thought of myself and others as our own kind of 'Shreks' and not everyone likes us for who we are. We're picked on, abused and hypothetically hung on the wall of shame, forever labeled as 'different'. But then the Carma sets into the bullies/persecutors and the try to run from the 'whispers', driving themselves crazy/numb because they kind of knew it would come back at them.

Wow, that was long! Thanks soo much everyone! I hope more people comment!

Hi this is Snickerdooly! I liked this poem and the creative way you spelt "lite," but there were a couple things that I didn't like. The first thing was the repetivness (Not sure if that's a word ) of the line, "lite the torches." I felt it was over used and maybe in order to fix that use that for the first half of the poem and a second line for the other half, it just felt like there were too many lines to use the same beginning in each one. The other thing that bugged me in this poem was how the poem didn't seem to have a lot of emotions. Yes it was all about standing up and fighting, but the rhyming didn't seem to go along with the whole theme and only seemed to be there to help with the flow and rhymes.

Overall I did enjoy this and I've made my fair share of poems that rhymed but didn't have emotion it's very hard to create one of those poems. Thank you for posting and I wish you good luck and success with this poem and all your future writing pieces!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

The red on "light" was very powerful for emphasis. It also caught my interest right away. Well done there. It helped your poem out quite a bit, made it seem more... dramatic.

I was a little bit confused by it at times. The message wasn't entirely clear to me, but maybe that's because I'm not entirely awake right now. I also felt like the ending was a bit rushed, that you sort of didn't pick a great way to end it. It would have been interesting if you'd ended it with just "Light the torches" or maybe something different. Either way, I'd suggest expanding a bit and ending more interestingly.

A little more explanation in the poem itself would be lovely; it's kind of pointless to have to explain it in a separate paragraph (unless it's historical fiction sort of thing). I, like a few others, thought "rebellion?" but wasn't sure.

Anyway, I did actually enjoy this. The repetition was actually good, and emphasis on light? Amazing. Good job!

I really liked it. Your very good writer, so don't stop. It was confusing, but deep. It gave me a lot to think about!

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

So. This was rather depressing. I found it, however, would be better as lyrics to a heavy metal/scream-o band's song. It's really dark and haunting, and the repetition suits better to a song. Sure, repetition is great in some cases, but not in this one. It became boring to read with it all.

Yours,
Lavvi