Crying in Silence

Every sad memory lets out
tears from my eyes, every
waking moment I think about
how my life would've been if
the depression I hold in still
torments me and as much as
I try to hold it in, it brings
me back down.

Every sad thought that comes
to my head causes pain to my
heart and soul, I pray to god
to help me get through this
horrible feeling that makes
me cry in silence where no
one seems to hear or see me.

I find it hard to open up to the
ones that love and care for me,
I feel like I can never face them
without breaking down in front
of them. Its not that Im scared
to show my emotions, I just don't
want anybody to see the sadness
in my expressions.

I cry in silence so that only god could
hear me & no one else can, he's the
only one who understands me and doesn't
question why I feel this way..
He knows perfectly well what
lies beneathe my soul and my broken
heart falling into itty bitty pieces waiting
to be mended.

I feel the loneliness in this poem. I've written my fair share of depressed poems in my time--it's been at least a year or two since my last one. I like that you explain yourself and your feelings thoroughly--but I don't like the rhythm. No offense meant, but it sounds like my 11th grade painting teacher--she was pretty monotonous. Have you ever considered converting iambic pentameter? Even if you want to keep it free verse, I suggest adopting form in your writing. Experiment with it. You'll feel more challenge and at the same time, you'll feel more creative. And your poem will develop a more musical "voice". I don't think YWS allows us to post our own work in reviews, so I won't show you my own example... but look around YWS and looks for any catchy poems and you'll know what I mean.

As for depression, many people have been there before. I've been there. It feels like you're barricaded in by four walls, and no one can hear you. But if you know you're on the inside, and you have the strength to break out. You know why? It's because of that three lettered deity you mentioned in your poem--God. He has the power. Rely on Him, and you can break out.

Ok thank you so much. I will do so.. I find your comment quite helpful and no offense made.

This totally deserves a like i mean this make me want to cry. I'm still not used this site so i couldn't really help on anything but i don't think it needs it. Sometimes we just all need to cry in silence even though it hurts like heck. Thank you so very much for sharing I appreciate it alot. :rose:

Hi! I could easily feel the raw emotion and power in this poem which is always a good sign and something that I love to find in poetry. You did a good job with the feelings but I think you should work more on the flow of the poem and the format of the poem. If you designed the poem in a certain number of stanzas and have spaces it would be easier to read and would flow a lot better.

Overall I think this poem was good, but you need to work on the format in order to make it as smooth of a ride as possible. Something that helps with that is reading it out loud to yourself. Thanks for posting this piece it made me sad, if you ever need to talk to someone even if you don't know me I'm here, and I'm not a weird creeper Hope life gets better for you.
Peace,
Snickerdooly

Hi! Once again, you have proven that you can touch someone's emotions and, at the same time, keep them interested in the poem. In the poem, I felt your pain and I understood how you felt. I really like this poem. Honestly, I don't know what you can improve on. It's just that good! Keep writing poetry! I actually have felt that way and did the exact same thing oftentimes.