Violet Rain

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For Earth day....


Run within the field of ever,
the deer of human faces,
the spirits trapped inside the trees,
the winged wolf, it rises.

And rain falls from sunset clouds,
spotting little faces.
The war is done and we have won!
The sky shall show its pleasure
by drenching smoke with tears of joy.
The violet rain drips down.

At last we can breath clean air,
the fire and smoke drenched, dead
so we may live instead.

Running through a field of green,
bordered by forests smiling so.
The swords of battle drenched in red
now washed clean and rusted through.
My eyes are opened wide at last,
lift off the bloodstained cast
that masked our minds and clouded spirits
and taste the sweet fruit of freedom.

The trees raise their branches high,
welcoming the life,
accepting colour and imagination
as the violet rain drips down.

Through golden beauty of the sun,
dabbed with pink and empurpled wonder.
The sky is open at last,
the clouds shimmer a clean, new white
like fresh snow drifting through an ocean of blue.

Freedom captures our breath,
the land reviving slowly,
I find myself simply running,
embracing this new feeling,
drenched in violet rain.

Forever we are free,
forever we will be,
forever soaked

in violet rain.
Last edited by GoaGreena on Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:07 am, edited 2 times in total.
I dream by day.




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Bravo. Nicely done. I really liked this. I didn't catch any spelling errors, and you picked a nice choice of words. Cheers. Keep up the good work.




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Hello! First of all, I really did enjoy this poem. It flowed beautifully, and I loved the bluntness and description you used in your piece. Gramatically, you were spot on. No mistakes in that department! lol.
However, I feel there is one major flaw in this poem: the whole idea of purple rain...as a title, it's already been taken, Ie, purple rain, by the classic singer Prince. It's as if you've taken the title from that song because it sounds nice. Personally, I don't feel it's right to do so. But, if it was an honest mistake and you didn't know, then okay. :) I loved some of stanzas in which you didn't mention the purple rain, and I'd love more of them. I'd scrap this theme of purple rain and create your own unique one. Keep working on it and you'll win me over. Anyways, well done, and keep writing.
~ Amelia :)




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Ugh. I hate that that colour was taken already. I don't really like this poem any more.

It doesn't have the soul that I put into it the first time I wrote it.

*sigh*

I hate this. I put so much wonder and soul into it the first time only to find out I can't use a certain colour because it's been done before.

And here I thought I had such a great idea. Just goes to show; all my best ideas are bound to have been thought of already.
I dream by day.



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