Charlie and Logan Chapter 7

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Here's chapter 7. My special thanks goes to Kagi on this one. She has helped me so much with getting past the writer's block that i've been encountering while writing this!
***
Charlie
The telephone cords that held my wrists were starting to cut and cause blood to trickle down my arms. After I had been torn away from Lisa, my whole body started to ache because I was no longer running on adrenaline. I was now wearing nothing but the party dress I'd been in when I'd been taken and that was in tatters from the fight I'd just been in. Every ounce of me was telling me to keep fighting the exhaustion that loomed over me. I had to stay awake. I had to find a way out of here. There was no part of me that wanted to stick around and be part of Lisa's little expeiriment for torture. I'd only been in the small room for an hour at most and there wasn't much to say about it. It was the size of an average room and the walls were completely blank and gray.

There was only one way in or out of the room: the door that I was sure had a person on the other side to keep me from getting loose.

I really was getting tired. My limbs felt heavy and my body was sore. Large purple bruises were forming underneath my skin and my hands tingled where the skin was raw from clawing at Lisa's neck. Perhaps what distracted me most was an itch behind my ear that would drive me crazy until I could get at it. There was nothing I could do right now to fix it. There was nothing I could do. I didn't have the strength to move anymore. My eyes began to feel heavy and I felt my whole body grow numb. I was drowsy and I needed rest. After much fighting against my own body, I finally let myself fall asleep.

***

Logan

Logan hadn't been sleeping. All he'd done was worry. His daughter was constantly screeching for her mother and there was nothing he could do except try to comfort her. Thank God Lea and Charlie's mother, Nicki were there to help with her. Stephen and Lea's boyfriend Pablo were helping him figure out what was going to happen. What had Lisa done to Charlie? Knowing her, she'd probably already tortured her. He smashed his fist on the table beside the couch. The crazy bitch had kidnapped Charlie and it was because of him!

There was a reason why he had left his wife. She was insane. She'd managed to secure him into a marriage by faking a pregnancy and hold a tight grip on him since. For awhile he'd actually tried to make it work. But the constant spying into his activity and keeping tabs on him had gotten to the point where he suggested counciling. Things had only gotten worse from there. The fact that he couldn't go to the police was proof that she knew what she was doing.

From the other room, Addison had let out a cry. Rising from the couch, he rubbed his forehead tiredly and went into the den where Nicki was rocking her granddaughter in her arm. She had dark circles under her puffy red eyes. She shushed Addison quietly and stifled another sob.

"Hey Nicki," he said. Seeing Charlie's mother made him think of Charlie and it almost tore him in two. "I can take her."

Despite her love for her grandbaby, Nicki seemed relieved to give her over to him. "Thank you Logan," she managed to say. She held Addison out for him to take and let out a sob. Looking up at him, she murmured, "Logan. Find my baby. Bring her back to me."

Holding his crying daughter, he said, "I will." It was a promise that he was hesitant to make. Lisa could've already killed Charlie and just have been toying with him.

Nicki couldn't do anything but choke out a thank-you; she had already been half-way out the door. Addison had stopped crying for the moment and had just started staring at Logan as if he would bring Charlie back right then. He sunk down into an armchair and looked into Addison's eyes. She resembled him more in appearance than Charlie, but looking at Addison made him think of her. Tears fell from his eyes and he picked up a bottle from where it had been laying when Nicki had been in there to feed his daughter. Addison sucked on the tip of the bottle and still continued to look at her father with wide and expectant eyes.

Logan had never felt so helpless in his life.

***

Asher

The image of Charlie laying on the floor after he'd forced himself on her wouldn't leave Asher's mind. Her eyes so filled with loathing and pain at the same time were glued in his mind and they would probably be there until he died. Before he'd caught her with Logan, who was the one she'd loved all along, he'd thought that he might've had a future with her and the baby he thought was his. Sure, he might not have made the perfect father and he wouldn't be a hot-shot doctor, but he would've provided for them.

He would've loved them.

So after Lisa had anonymously posted his bail after he'd almost killed Charlie, he'd been set on revenge. He wanted to get back at both the man who'd ruined his plans and the girl who had broken his heart. He had wanted blood.

But after he'd seen what he had done, he wasn't sure. Charlie looked awful. Now that she had a daughter, she wasn't going to do anything except keep her safe. Keeping Lisa away from her was her main priority. Asher didn't understand it until he'd seen what Charlie had done to his employer. Lisa was going to look awful for weeks after the damage her captive had caused.

As he sat staring out the window of the abandoned store in downtown Seattle, he couldn't help but think that he had just ruined his chances of ever living guilt free. Rain was starting to sprinkle outside and he hoped that it would wash away the feeling of dread that was plaguing him.

***
Okay, here you have it. I hope you liked the alternating between view points. I don't know how well it worked out. Please drop a comment!
Cheers,
Luxe :)
...or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it?
Fear makes the wolf seem bigger.
I got attacked by a swan.




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Hello there. :)

Thank God Lea and Charlie's mother, Nicki comma, were there to help with her. Stephen and Lea's boyfriend comma, Pablo comma, were helping him figure out what was going to happen.

But the constant spying into his activity and keeping tabs on him had gotten to the point where he suggested counseling.

Another great chapter!
I like the different point of view, but it's kind of weird since the least chapters didn't have them... Or did they? I'm not sure. ;) Anyways, the plot is going great, and I don't think I have anything for you to improve on that...
Pss...I think Asher is going to help Charlie... Am I wrong? :O

Keep on writing!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466




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Alrighty,
here I am and exploding over this one. I didn't really know how it would turn out but I'm happy with it after all.
You obviously worked hard on this and... *blushes* I didn't help at all. It was you and your imagination Luxe, don't let me take that away from you! :)

Ok, I loved the opening paragraph, in Charlie's thoughts. You let us in on her feelings and her surroundings which gave us an inlook to what she was feeling. I really liked it... but.. I wanted more. There was nothing to lead us on into the next part, I was looking for something that had a spark of hope or horror, something that would make me shiver and want what Charlie wanted. I didn't get that at all here. We know she's tired, sore and bruised but what else? Show us desire to touch Logan again, regret for not kissing Addison goodbye, love for her family... all these emotions weren't portrayed very well and I was a little disappointed. In all the other chapters, we know so much about Logan and Charlie's passion. We had something to work with, when Asher raped Charlie we felt Charlie's anger and sorrow. We need to get back and track with these little things. Give us that passion and emotion that makes us love this novel Luxe! You may not have so many review but I know people are reading this and loving your work! Don't lose heart!

Now, Logan. I felt he was extremely vague. You mentioned how he felt like he was helpless but when did he say in plain english how much he missed her? He seemed like he was distant from Addison. In the previous chaptes I always imagined Logan as a loving, caring dad that would, no matter what always care for his little girl. Addison, yes, will miss her mother but she needs her father too. The way you wrote it, it seemed like Logan was dumping all the hard work on Nici, is that how you wanted it? Make Logan the Dad every little girl wish they had. Help us feel the love Logan has in his heart for her. I only see regret in Logan at the minute.

I also wanted some love toward Charlie. Something maybe along the lines of this;
Peering down at Addison, silent tears began to leak slowly from his tired eyes. Addison was curled up in his arms, with her little fluffy hair spread out in all directions, her skin ever soft. She slept peacefully for the first time since Charlie's absense. Throwing his head back, Logan let out a moan of grief.
Oh Charlie. I'm so sorry. So so sorry.
He began to picture her angelic face. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled, the way she broke into a grin when she took Addison in her arms. He closed his eyes and let himself drfit to his happy place. A place where they were all a family again.
This part can maybe be like a dream? -> ->

Cupping her face in his heads, Logan leaned in and kissed her passionately. Letting there lips linger on each others, he pulled her to him. There kisses became more eager, more insistent as they closed in the space around them. Charlies fingers massaged his head as he let his lips trace down the nape of her neck. Moaning softly she kissed his forehead and let her hands travel up his shirt. Logan..
His lips met hers again and he pulled her up beside him. Breaking away he slipped his hand around her waist and began to dance with her. She smiled that wonderful smile and let her head fall onto his chest...

Logan, opened his eyes once more, bringing him back to reality. He looked down at the sleeping bundle in his arms and let the tears come once more


Now you don't have to use that at all, that was just my picture of how I wanted it to be. I wanted more of the desire to come through in this chapter. Myabe you're happy with the way it is? If so, then ignore me. I'm just making suggestions.

Asher's point of view was my favourite. You really let his love for Chralie come through, yes he felt guilty but it was those little moments of love that shone throught that I enjoyed. It shows us that he isn't all bad and that there is hope for the future.

All in all, I'm dying to read more. Keep writing and don't lose heart. It is good.

Good luck editing!
Kagi x
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It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
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