If It Is Not Love, Then What Is It?

Immensly surprised to
Feel the way I do

It takes my breath away
To be around you

I don't know yet what
Seems so obvious to others

Needing another reason
Other than a feeling
To see the surrounding colors

Life is full
Of surprises, I know, it's that
Very reason that I try
Endlessly to avoid this

The very reason I
Hate what this may or may not
Even be, maybe I'm just lonely and
Not want anything but a kiss

Whatever you choose to think, I really
Have no desire to know
About, but I know if I end up broken hearted, it'll only be on me
Tisk, tisk

I can't, though, just
Sit back and avoid this uncanny risk

because...

If it is not love
Then what is it?

Spoiler

It is pretty bad, but it's my first try and it's hard to match the words and stuff up with the letters on the left. Ugh, my brain hurts already, this just makes it worse. Stupid boys, stupid school, stupid everything that makes my head want to split!!!

Please comment, please help, please like if you like, please do whatever the hell you wanna do!

Spoiler

Hey, another thing guys, look at all of the first letters on the left, at the beginning of each line, you know, if you're confused...

Don't have any doubts in your work!
I think this is excellent for a first try. Practice makes perfect, no?
Keep going

Kirah

It's very good, but what seems odd is how it starts out with two-line stanzas but you only keep that up for a little while before you move on to increasingly longer stanzas and lines. Just watch your flow, how each line leads to the next and how long each line is. Lines should be about within zero to three syllables different from each other unless of course you're making it longer for impact.

Oherwise, this is very good! Keep writing! There is no such thing as talent, only skill. Skill comes from a love of writing, the more you love to write, the more you write and the better you get at it.

All you need is to love what you are doing.

-Greena

This may just be me, but I think that the flow of the poem is a bit broken because of the way the lines are set out. Sometimes you cut off a line too abruptly, so maybe you could work on that a bit, but other than that. The poem is quite well written

This is really well done for a first try. It's difficult to be confident in your work as a beginner. But i liked the flow of it and considering it's a first attempt it's really quite good. I liked it. Don't stress about wether or not a poem is good enough. Often they're open to interpretation. Not to mention the fact that they are meant to express your emotions and, let's face it, there is no wrong or right with the way you feel.

Hi there. Lavvi in to review for you.

Okay. What really bothered me was the sore lack of punctuation. I mean, punctuation really helps the poem move along as well as affect the fluidity of it in a good way. Unless you insist on not having punctuation, which you shouldn't because the poem needs it, you need to punctuate.

Yours,
Lavvi

Hey, I loved this. It was really great. I personally think you have mountains of potential.

Keep writing- good luck
JJxVoodo