Should've Known

Lost,
Beaten,
Mistreated,
Forgotten.
That was me.

Proud,
Safe,
Honored,
Recognized,
That was you.

And you saw me,
In my helpless state,
And you didn't care.
A sneer crossed your face,
And you walked away.

Now our lives are switched.
You are the needy one.
And you ask of me
For help.

I should turn away.
I should leave you.
I should sneer down,
I should ignore you.
But I don't.
Because I know what it's like,
To be alone...

So I help,
Against my better judgement,
Against the world's opinion,
I help.

Then the sneer comes.
And the blow comes.
And the pain.
You take
Everything
Away.

I should have known.
I did know,
But I didn't
Listen.

I'm not the best at poems, please don't be too harsh. I'm new, did I put it in the right category?

Hi tgirly,

First of all, welcome to YWS and I'm pretty sure it's in the right category.
Onto the review, well, this is a nice poem, it's got a nice flow and the idea behind it is usable too. But I think that you could expand on it a bit more. It's a bit simple at the moment, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but, making it a bit more complex would help it and give it more story and meaning.
That aside, good job on the poem!

Thanks, your advice helped. Any ideas on the title?

Title idea: I should have listened or I should have walked away
This is really good work, young one lol my weirdness is apparent
Keep writing poetry.
I have nothing but praise for your astounding talent!!!!

Very moving poem, however I think you slightly overuse the one word per line thing at the beginning, but apart from that, your grammar and use of punctuation was good - you had a consistent theme and a nice story running through it. Very nice in general.

your style is nice, ligt, and simple. It's a welcomed break from the over-worded, under-thought poems i keep comming across, just a few little, things, 1. kinda over used the one word per line in the begining. (although it did flow pretty smoothly) 2. bigger words!!! although, just to brag on you bit, i hardly ever see 'sneer' in poetry, good for you!! ^.^
3. explain things, who, what, when why, how....(i'm most likely missing ones but you catch my drift ) this was really nice and i loved the simplocty, this peice is a nice, quick read. But next time step out of your comfert zone, take risks!!!! ok, well that's all i see, you done good buddy!!! *hands cookie*