More than just a teacher

She tried moulding me into a brilliant tool.
Even though I always played a fool
Yet deep down I always knew
Her work was undoubtedly true!
She was more than just a teacher
She was, is a friend
Her way was more than just a trend
She out shown any bleater
Not because she was just amazing.
Her lessons were absolutely tantalizing
But now all we can say is goodbye
May your future be blessed.
Others may come and try
To fill your shoes, but they’ll never pass your undying test...
A place in all your students’ hearts
Just like those delicious milk tarts!

She tried moulding me into a brilliant tool.
Even though I always played a fool
Yet deep down I always knew
Her work was undoubtedly true!
She was more than just a teacher
She was, is a friend
Her way was more than just a trend
She out shown any bleater What is this word suppose to be?
Not because she was just amazing.
Her lessons were absolutely tantalizing
But now all we can say is goodbye
May your future be blessed.
Others may come and try
To fill your shoes,
but they’ll never pass your undying test...
A place in all your students’ hearts
Just like those delicious milk tarts!

This one made me laugh I truly enjoyed it and can't wait for more. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3

I thought that the message was good but I just couldn't find a good rhythm with it =\. It felt like you were trying to rhyme but not at the same time. It was just difficult to read. I think the idea is good... but its just the rhythm. Good luck.

It's a great poem and I can see where you are getting with this, but it's agreed that the rhythm just isn't there and that you need to focus more on that than anything. I hope I don't discourage you, but rhythm in a poem is the same as in a song, IT just HAS to be there.

Other than that, it was an outstanding poem. Good work! But don't forget the rhythm.

Hey everyone.
Thanks for the reviews!
@Soul... The bleater refer to other teachers, who just come and bleat away their work lol, whereas the teacher I wrote this for, used to have unbelievable lessons with us.
@ty and kristen.. Thanks alot for the advice I'm working on fixing it up, when I wrote this poem I was trying more to get my feelings across, rather than concentrate fully on all aspects of poetry. Sorry about that!

I like the idea but when you use end rhyme every two lines the lines the lines should be longer. Either that or you should try to do a rhyme with an ABABCDCD.. so on. I like the idea!

I do agree, you need to work on your rhyming. But i liked it because the end was very funny. It was a good poem, but could do with a big cleaning up

i like it. my favorite part is when you wrote about how her lessons are tantalizing. what made it so interesting? just curious.
-<3- inimitablebeauty