The Moment Where She Smiles: Volume I

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 42428
Reviews 411
Author's Note: This is a "work in progress" creative writing experiment for my University application portfolio. Three of five are shown below.

Image

The Moment Where She Smiles: My Easily Dismissed Cliché

She smiled at me;
The spark of a moment
where seconds appear
as an eternity.

The story we all hear.
One which, to those told,
is dismissed as cliché;
yet celebrated in artistic cheer.

One universal feeling,
experienced in a hundred thousand
torn and heart-wrenched souls;
one cliché tale.

This time, it’s yours.

Experienced in the thousands,
my same, easily-dismissed cliché.


The Moment Where She Smiles: Angel in the Mist

A separation of thick mist
Pierced by the angelic lights of her
Pure, innocent eyes.

The shine of her perfect pearl teeth
Sheltered and supported by her
Thick, blood-red lips.

A silky cloth of brunette stroked
the fragile shoulders beneath her
smooth, sun-kissed skin.

The heavenly white glow softly sung from her
ankle-length gown, flooding over her
dominant, teasing hips.

The mist begins to thicken, the glow
becomes weak among the grey;
The Angel in the Mist.

The tempting notion to pursue such
unworldly beauty is cascaded, I halt in eternal lust as she
turns to smile once more.

I shall be cursed to ever forget her
stunning inner sadness, hidden deep behind an
angelic, fading smile…


The Moment Where She Smiles: The Kiss

I am pulled to a kiss,
warmth and energy
surges through me
and my lips meet hers.

We close our eyes,
saving this memory
in our locked chests
of loving experience.

Our fingers slip into
the empty space between
one another’s, and our
grip tightens.

We are one now,
enjoying the passion
that flows from
me to her, her to me.

It is when we pull away
when my true admiration
is felt.

Our passion is followed
by the widening of her dimples
as she bursts into a smile,
her eyes wet with joy.

My heart sinks as
we pull each other close.

The kiss has disappeared
from my locked-up chest;
replaced by something
immeasurably more beautiful.

An imprint of my girl’s smile
and the experience
where I fall in love…
…all over again.





User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1276
Reviews 378
Truly moving these pieces. I really loved all three of them. Could understand the emotions and the ideas. Hope to read more of your work soon!! Good luck and Happy Writing!!
Soulkana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 2564
Reviews 129
Hi there.

These were really good. I loved all three of them. They all flowed perfectly and the structure was maticulous. I also love the themes in his poem. there ae really beautiful and moving.

It also has some great lines in it.

For example

"Experienced in the thousands,
my same, easily-dismissed cliché."

and


"The shine of her perfect pearl teeth
Sheltered and supported by her
Thick, blood-red lips."

So really good.
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see.

Alice in Wonderland




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 42428
Reviews 411




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 42428
Reviews 411



Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe