Warning signs your date is broke:
He tells you to choose a restaurant, but when you suggest some Italian finery, he chokes, tells you vividly (very vividly) of his food poisoning Italian style and steers you over to McDonald’s.
He invites you to Starbucks, and you drink service water.
The flowers he gave you look alarmingly like the centerpiece at Harry’s Diner.
His “hot wheels”, were your 12-year-old neighbor’s bicycle.
When he said ‘I’ll take you to a concert’, he never actually meant that you were going to get inside the gates.
When the waiter asks you if you’d like to order anything else, he has a mini heart-attack.
When you suggest some dessert, he goes into epileptic shock.
When the waiter asks for a tip he gives him a ‘Jesus OUR SAVIOR! Prayer book’.
His ‘gift’, which he said was nature-inspired, was a pine cone from your backyard.
When the street kid came to beg money from him, he took the coins from the street kid’s hand and bolted.
(You think he took the can of the blind man as well.)
When he dropped you off at your house, instead of asking for a kiss, he asks you for some spare change for the bus home.
