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I gave my best friend one of our super long hugs and hid my face in her long dark curls. She always smelled nice, like strawberry and cream. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?" I asked in a whisper.

Emily giggled. She patted her swollen belly gently with sparkling eyes. "Don't have much of a choice anymore, now do I?" she whispered back, glancing conspicously at the other people at the party as if we were keeping a secret, just like good old times. Sudden tears misted her large blue eyes. "I can't wait for this kid, you know," she said softly, watching all our friends, however distant friends as they were, stand and talk and exchange excited babble. Everyone towered above her, with her small height, and it didn't very much matter anyways, since we were both sitting down.

I nodded slowly, flashing her a quick smile. I did know how much she wanted this, as a matter of fact. And she would be fine. Her parents would help her. Mike's parents would help her. Heck, Mike himself would be there every step of the way (or he was a very dead man). And there was always me, even though I was still in high school. I'd skip Biology any day of the week to help my best friend. She. Will. Be. Fine. I forced myself to take in a deep breath.

I pulled a strand of light brown hair behind my ear and blinked away some of my own tears as I measured the party. "It's a beautiful baby shower," I commented after a moment. I sat a little straighter, pulling my chin up. I even started smiling a bit. "We should be proud of ourselves for organizing it so quickly, you know?"

Emily raised a critical eyebrow my way. "We? No, no, no, how many times have I told you - this -" She gestured at everyone with her small hand. "This was all you."

My lips stretched in a smile just as tears started falling from my eyes, dripping down to my nose, giving in the fact I was so emotional. I wiped them away awkwardly. "And you're sure?" I asked again, for probably the millionth time. "You're still in college. You and Mike... you're both so young." I wound my fingers together.

Emily rolled her eyes at me, flicking my forehead with her index finger. "I swear to God, Charlotte, you are such a worry wart. Don't worry about me. Mike and I are really ready." A smile tugged the corner of her pink lips. "And I haven't even told you the big news yet..."

I recognized her mischief tone and raised both my eyebrows. "Shoot."

"Well... It's a boy. You know, the kid. In here!" She squealed.

"Oh my god, really?" I touched her stomach again, waiting for 'the kid', as we liked to refer to him, to kick or do jumping jacks.

"Yes!" Emily's eyes sparkled again. Mike plopped down on the seat next to her just then.

He rubbed his forehead and gave out a long sigh. "Everyone's thanking me," he whined.

"Oh, poor baby," Emily said dramatically, touching up one of his dark hairs. She giggled a bit, and their eyes locked. "Um, honey, you came just in time - I was just telling her."

I shifted in my seat. "Telling me?" I asked, curiousity leaking into my voice.

"Yeah, well..." Mike interwined his fingers with Emily's. "What we wanted to say is -"

"We're naming him Charlie!" Emily cut in excitedly. Her black curls swung around as she nodded. "You know, from Charlotte!"

"You're... you're serious?" My throat felt all choked up. I ducked my head so I could look Emily full in the eye. "Em, for real?" Wonder lit my face, and I didn't even know what expression I had, but it was probably funny, because Emily laughed again.

"Duh." Emily rolled her eyes again. Mike smiled warmly at me as well. I tried to swallow, but didn't exactly manage.

"Well, aren't you hogging the princess!" A woman I remembered as Ashely come in. I didn't know her very well, but she and Emily were on good terms. "Everyone wants you!" Her eyes flashed quickly to me then away.

Emily opened her mouth, and I could see she was about to object, so I hurried to say, "No, sure, go... go ahead." I waved her off vaguely. "I'm in shock anyways."

Emily nodded, gave me a smile, and walked slowly with one hand on her back towards her group of friends. I saw Mike hovering above her from the corner of my eyes. "Oh, God, I gotta get out of here," I muttered under my breath.

I managed to sneak out to the front porch and sat myself delicately on the stairs. Then I put my head between my legs and tried to breathe. God, it really was happening. My best friend, the same Emily who was always just two years older, was having a baby, and naming it Charlie, and... and... Hot, salty tears burst from my eyes. I felt... left behind, somehow. In all these new developments in her life, where did I fit in? I was just this kid, this stupid high school kid, and she was going to be a mother! And I felt guilty for feeling this way.

I was also glad for her. She seemed so radiant... even more so than usual. I was thrilled, truly.

UGH, why wasn't I making any sense?!

"Um, are you okay?" asked a voice from somewhere above my head. It was a guy's voice, and it sounded uncertain, yet nice.

I pulled my head back, sniffling. I couldn't really see clearly through the tears, but I spotted a red hat and a few boxes. "No." The word popped out of my mouth.

The guy, whoever it was, set the pizzas aside. "I can listen, if you want."

I opened my mouth, about to tell him thank you but there's really no need, but words came flowing out. I didn't even pause to think who was this strange stranger, and why he had this effect on me.
"if you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it." - Captain Jack Sparrow




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Let’s start with nitpicks:

I recognized her mischief tone and raised both my eyebrows. "Shoot."

"Well... It's a boy. You know, the kid. In here!" She squealed.

"Oh my god, really?" I touched her stomach again, waiting for 'the kid', as we liked to refer to him, to kick or do jumping jacks.


Okay, this part sounds like the big news is that the baby is a boy, but the big news is supposed to be that the baby's name is Charlie, right? So, maybe instead Emily should point out that the baby's a boy, but Charlotte already knows that so she's just like, "Yeah..."... you know?


I shifted in my seat. "Telling me?" I asked, curiousity leaking into my voice.


I believe it's "curiosity."

"Everyone's thanking me," he whined.


Thanking him? I'm not sure about that... maybe it's what you meant, but I think "congratulating" would make more sense…


I liked this pretty well… especially the end… I think the feelings Charlotte described make sense, even though they were all over the place… I don’t know if there was anything particularly special about it, but I guess I would have to read more to find out.

--
Tabby




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Hello there. :)

I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of your story.
A woman I remembered as Ashely came in.

I didn't even pause to think who was this strange stranger, and why he had this effect on me.

Strange stranger seems a little bit weird here... Maybe changing the word strange for odd might help. Or just erasing it altogether and keeping just the stranger part in. :)

I likes this chapter, and you made me want to read more, so good job! I don't have anything to say plot wise...
You can PM me when the next chapter is up.

Also, the tittle is not 'No title yet', right? Are you searching for ideas for that? I can't really do anything to help if I don'T know the story, but I'll keep searching for something as I read. :)

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466



Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.
— Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena