Oh, mother, I am weeping
Besides your doorway,
Lips shaking silence
Still I am keeping
every secret scent away
Into the deep corners of my room –
The searches, things that you presume
I am here to tell you
That your daughter,
The storyteller,
has as story or two left to tell you
I think I’m ready to walk a runway
The final passage –
The fatal hallway
Hiding behind the silken curtains
Flirting, laughing, dying, certain
I am ready to feel naked
On our tiled kitchen floor
Remorse and mournfulness can’t save you
Beg and plead all the more
But this mask has clattered,
Feathers failing,
And you’re wailing,
Touching pages of my stories
As the ancient scroll unfurls –
Here are my secrets,
Take them, leave them
I am sorry, mother
But please don’t smother me
This is just my
Teenage – shattered – grandiloquent
My overdue apology
Here are my scars
They aren’t fresh, but they aren’t fading
I’ve traveled far
Everything I’ve told you, lies, all laden
It’s hard to see, I know
A smiling face of cutting,
Bulimic, sexual disgrace
An excuse daughter
I have regret
Please don’t turn away from me
You have not neglect
I am just stain far,
Too deep to fade
Look at my sin-scars
They aren’t the lie
I know they still mar
My skin – so white
It’s cold – this night
It’s hard to stand outside
While your weeping
Over things I still can’t say
You’re turning me away
These secrets that I’m keeping
Driving me farther,
Here I am, drowning
I’ll call you in case of an emergency
Until then, I’ll die on the deadline
Of my overdue apology
My wooden-liquid hand
Is far too hooked to my throat
To choke a call or knock
To bridge the desiccated moat
But my lips are shaking silent
Most literally, for I’m closing my tomb tonight
Dear mother, my stories were my life
