Sanctuary of Neutrality - The final Beginning

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"Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage;
be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy
God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
- Joshua 1:9



Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on."
"Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them."
-Revelation 14:13


High above them all, was a cloud so large, it hovered over the earth completely, coating it in a gloomy blue shade of confusion. Many came out their homes, after feeling the presence of the sun vanish. They stared in awe at the chaos bleached sky of paralyzing confusion. Many began to panic, and some began to flee their homes. Others dropped to their knees where they stood... chanting, repeating prayers in hope to spare themselves. In time almost all of them would do the same. Both the fair and the crooked would fall to the mercy of this inexplicable happening, and beg for their souls to be spared. They knew not the very truth of what they suspected. They knew not this happening, was in fact the bringing of the final day. The epilogue of their days, and the prologue of a new dawn. However, there were those that stood between the lot. Those that refused their end! those that declined this so called, inevitable end of mankind. Those, that would stand to face the final day and rebel against demise! But none dared speak. With all these thoughts and all the courage they bore, also stood the cowardice. The fear of this foreseen unknown finally coming to life, froze their spirits in where they stood and kept them shaking and trembling in rage and self pity. However, One of these few.. was not so easily intimidated by this. It was a young male.


From within the crowds, stood fourth one strong willed man, eyes filled with ages of hidden determination. He himself, was the embodiment of perfect neutrality! And as he raced from within the clouds, he made his way toward a mountain that shaded his town. He climbed, feeling the pressure from above come down on him and strain his body to fight the power of heaven itself. The others, They criticized. Some called him mad, Most called him sacrilegious to dare stand up to God for any reason. But this was of no importance. He scaled and forced his way atop, and as he struggled to reach the top, It began. The sounds of trumpets slowly but steadily made it's impact, as fleets of glowing lights rained from the clouds as they were slain open by the sword of Miguel, Slayer of Satan. And from this hole, appeared creation itself! Gods hand, giant and emanating a grace far holier than one could imagined, came to set the earth and all those in it into complete nothingness. And as God's hand approached from above, the Earth began to shake. People began to scream, and panic far worse than ever before. They scattered like ants in the rain to shelter themselves and their eyes from the end they feared and wished to reject. But it was not Gods hand, oh no. This was the work of none other than Satan. From within the boiling crevices of the innermost earth, Sprouted a red, defiled hand covered in blisters, boils of magma and veins of black blood. Claws of sharpened steel, reaching towards the sky!! And as all this happened, the young man stood and uttered.

"So has it begun.."

There, before all and everyones eyes, stood the physical incarnations of Good and Evil. Life and Death. Brightness, and Shadows.



They have come for the souls they control. God claiming his followers, Satan carrying the castaways. But before they could reach one another, The young man called out from atop the mountain, shouting as loud as he could. "Stop! Bring your attention to me!" With his plea, the hands froze in place, moving towards the summit. Before he could speak, he realized they were both coming for him. He stepped back, and watched as both hands began to approach him from both sides of his position. They came at him, fast and strong! And the people all watched in shock, thinking for certain that this was " a man damned among all men " And as they almost clashed, There was a great pause. For int he middle, beneath what should have been the charred remains of a nobody, stood the young man, opposing the forced of the true Alpha and Omega, with one arm held to each. He forced with all his might, and shot his fierce gave into the heavens, and shouted once more.


"God Of Light and Fallen Angel of Demise! Hear my voice, That of all that exists between your domains! I am a Human! A Mortal! The fruits of Pure labor, and the tool of Chaos' destruction! I! The son of Adam and Eve! The spawn of the out-casted projects of life! He, who is greater than an Angel, and weaker then a demon! Hear me, masters of imagination! I, amongst the many you both seek to claim, Refuse to allow you to claim our souls! Your lies and filth will no longer haunt the minds and lives of all us men and women! I'm calling to you, God! Look at what you are and have created! See with your eyes into mine, and know the truths of my hardships and struggle to maintain the life you choose to toy with! See into my heart, the lies your lowly followers have spoken in your name, to convince us to give our lives and souls to you! That you are with me always? That you are with us! You are no more than us as your angels! Heed my words, winged creatures! Look at the power of your master! He who favors us, mere humans despite our flaws and disappointment! Treasuring the imperfections that we are more than yourselves! And see the truth of this fable of a belief! See what opposes you! This blistering hand of death is your shadow! Satan, Your son and brother, is the creation of your misconception! He, is all that you are in light, through darkness! He, like us all, experiments of your thoughts! Tools of your amusement! Look at us! Your spawns, Sons and daughters, blighted with the curse of knowledge you call sin! the very same knowledge that allows us to live as we should! Curse us for what we know, and praise the servants that follow you as mindlessly as angels do! Hear my Cry, God of Giving and Demon of Demise! Like I and all men should, I refuse your influence and will destroy what you are! I! Son of Adam and eve, spawn of the out-casted projects of life, he who is greater than an angel and weaker then a demon! He who has power over God and the Devil! I outcast you both! Into the void of nothingness from which you say we come from! To DUST! I dispel this curse of biblical affliction and vanquish the forces that give us all but easier lives! I say no to everything you are! So begone you curses of man! And take your false promises and lies to the grave and beyond it!"


With this, the young man suddenly threw himself backwards, letting the two hands clash together. God, and the Devil, finally met their match. To be destroyed by the men between their grip, The hands began to flash a strong light, far brighter than any before them. Man would now live, without a God or a Devil to tell them what to do. Man would live with their own morals, And see each other as equals, criminals being the only lesser beings of the Earth. As such, the willpower to deny a heaven away from it, Created a heaven on Earth. And Such, this new sanctuary of neutrality was known as the final beginning. Bibles were discarded, though some would deny the loss of God, many remember and tell of the day God and his Shadow died, and speak of the power of all living things being far greater than the imagination could tell.


During the final day, Man was meant to be purged before the eyes of God. But it was man, that purged God from the eyes of man.


"If a man, holding a belief which he was taught in childhood or persuaded of afterwards, keeps down and pushes away any doubts which arise about it in his mind, purposely avoids the reading of books and the company of men that call in question or discuss it, and regards as impious those questions which cannot easily be asked without disturbing it -- the life of that man is one long sin against mankind." -William Clifford
"I still hold on to foolish dreams, and bash in the grin of the villain in the mirror while I call myself a hero."
~Nathaniel.C




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Firstly, I don't really see this as a poem. It should really be in short stories, and thus I'm going to review it as such.
Red=Grammer error.
Green=My opinion.
Blue=Something I think worked really well.
NathanielC wrote:"Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage;
be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy
God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
- Joshua 1:9


Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on."
"Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them."
-Revelation 14:13 I like the quotes here and the one at the end.

High above them all, was a cloud so large, it hovered over the earth completely, coating it in a gloomy blue shade of confusion. Many came out their homes, after feeling the presence of the sun vanish. They stared in awe at the [color=#0040BF]chaos bleached sky of paralyzing confusion.[/color] Many began to panic, and some began to flee their homes. Others dropped to their knees where they stood... chanting, repeating prayers in hope to spare themselves. In time almost all of them would do the same. Both the fair and the crooked would fall to the mercy of this inexplicable happening, and beg for their souls to be spared. They knew not the very truth of what they suspected. They knew not this happening, was in fact the bringing of the final day. The epilogue of their days, and the prologue of a new dawn. However, there were those that stood between the lot. Those that refused their end! those that declined this so called, inevitable end of mankind. Those, that would stand to face the final day and rebel against demise! But none dared speak. With all these thoughts and all the courage they bore, also stood the cowardice. The fear of this foreseen unknown finally coming to life, froze their spirits in where they stood and kept them shaking and trembling in rage and self pity. However, One of these few.. was not so easily intimidated by this. It was a young male. This is very gripping. However, itdoes ramble on a little.


From within the crowds, stood fourth one strong willed man, eyes filled with ages of hidden determination. He himself, was the embodiment of perfect neutrality! And as he raced from within the clouds, he made his way toward a mountain that shaded his town. He climbed, feeling the pressure from above come down on him and strain his body to fight the power of heaven itself. The others, They criticized. Some called him mad, Most called him sacrilegious to dare stand up to God for any reason. But this was of no importance. He scaled and forced his way atop, and as he struggled to reach the top, It began. The sounds of trumpets slowly but steadily made it's impact, as fleets of glowing lights rained from the clouds as they were slain open by the sword of Miguel, Slayer of Satan. And from this hole, appeared creation itself! Gods hand, giant and emanating a grace far holier than one could imagined, came to set the earth and all those in it into complete nothingness. And as God's hand approached from above, the Earth began to shake. People began to scream, and panic far worse than ever before. They scattered like ants in the rain to shelter themselves and their eyes from the end they feared and wished to reject. But it was not Gods hand, oh no. This was the work of none other than Satan. From within the boiling crevices of the innermost earth, Sprouted a red, defiled hand covered in blisters, boils of magma and veins of black blood. Claws of sharpened steel, reaching towards the sky!! And as all this happened, the young man stood and uttered.

"So has it begun.."

There, before all and everyones eyes, stood the physical incarnations of Good and Evil. Life and Death. Brightness, and Shadows.



They have come for the souls they control. God claiming his followers, Satan carrying the castaways. But before they could reach one another, The young man called out from atop the mountain, shouting as loud as he could. "Stop! Bring your attention to me!" With his plea, the hands froze in place, moving towards the summit. Before he could speak, he realized they were both coming for him. He stepped back, and watched as both hands began to approach him from both sides of his position. They came at him, fast and strong! And the people all watched in shock, thinking for certain that this was " a man damned among all men " And as they almost clashed, There was a great pause. For int he middle, beneath what should have been the charred remains of a nobody, stood the young man, opposing the forced of the true Alpha and Omega, with one arm held to each. He forced with all his might, and shot his fierce gave into the heavens, and shouted once more.


"God Of Light and Fallen Angel of Demise! Hear my voice, That of all that exists between your domains! I am a Human! A Mortal! The fruits of Pure labor, and the tool of Chaos' destruction! I! The son of Adam and Eve! The spawn of the out-casted projects of life! He, who is greater than an Angel, and weaker then a demon! Hear me, masters of imagination! I, amongst the many you both seek to claim, Refuse to allow you to claim our souls! Your lies and filth will no longer haunt the minds and lives of all us men and women! I'm calling to you, God! Look at what you are and have created! See with your eyes into mine, and know the truths of my hardships and struggle to maintain the life you choose to toy with! See into my heart, the lies your lowly followers have spoken in your name, to convince us to give our lives and souls to you! That you are with me always? That you are with us! You are no more than us as your angels! Heed my words, winged creatures! Look at the power of your master! He who favors us, mere humans despite our flaws and disappointment! Treasuring the imperfections that we are more than yourselves! And see the truth of this fable of a belief! See what opposes you! This blistering hand of death is your shadow! Satan, Your son and brother, is the creation of your misconception! He, is all that you are in light, through darkness! He, like us all, experiments of your thoughts! Tools of your amusement! Look at us! Your spawns, Sons and daughters, blighted with the curse of knowledge you call sin! the very same knowledge that allows us to live as we should! Curse us for what we know, and praise the servants that follow you as mindlessly as angels do! Hear my Cry, God of Giving and Demon of Demise! Like I and all men should, I refuse your influence and will destroy what you are! I! Son of Adam and eve, spawn of the out-casted projects of life, he who is greater than an angel and weaker then a demon! He who has power over God and the Devil! I outcast you both! Into the void of nothingness from which you say we come from! To DUST! I dispel this curse of biblical affliction and vanquish the forces that give us all but easier lives! I say no to everything you are! So begone you curses of man! And take your false promises and lies to the grave and beyond it!" Dramatic speech- it makes me wonder what time period this is set in.


With this, the young man suddenly threw himself backwards, letting the two hands clash together. God, and the Devil, finally met their match. To be destroyed by the men between their grip, The hands began to flash a strong light, far brighter than any before them. Man would now live, without a God or a Devil to tell them what to do. Man would live with their own morals, And see each other as equals, criminals being the only lesser beings of the Earth. As such, the willpower to deny a heaven away from it, Created a heaven on Earth. And Such, this new sanctuary of neutrality was known as the final beginning. Bibles were discarded, though some would deny the loss of God, many remember and tell of the day God and his Shadow died, and speak of the power of all living things being far greater than the imagination could tell.

During the final day, Man was meant to be purged before the eyes of God. But it was man, that purged God from the eyes of man.

"If a man, holding a belief which he was taught in childhood or persuaded of afterwards, keeps down and pushes away any doubts which arise about it in his mind, purposely avoids the reading of books and the company of men that call in question or discuss it, and regards as impious those questions which cannot easily be asked without disturbing it -- the life of that man is one long sin against mankind." -William Clifford


This was a very interesting piece, and certainly brings to mind a lot of questions concerning human freedom. The young man seems a little ideal- or was that the intention?

I think your main problem is that you tend to go on for a bit, but this isn't a major problem, and is easily solved. Well done!
I've learned so much from people who never existed - Unknown




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I really appreciate the review! I'm very glad you pointed out the grammar mistakes, I have a tendency to rush recklessly when I get one of those "waves of inspiration" I wrote this with the initiative of painting my ideal apocalypse with words. To depict the end of religion, and the true beginning of simply mankind. I myself was one religious, but abandoned the faith as time passed on. I respect those that believe, however.

Again, many thanks for the advice! I notice myself at times I ramble on about excessive needless detail. I'll try my best to work on this! thanks!
"I still hold on to foolish dreams, and bash in the grin of the villain in the mirror while I call myself a hero."
~Nathaniel.C



¯\_(ツ)_/¯
— Someone Incredibly Noncommittal