Young Writers Society

You may think I'm shy in class,
Quietly waiting for the time to pass,
But with my friends you would not see
A shy and quiet little me.
If you ever saw the true me taking flight,
You would view me in a brand new light.

A/N: Sorry if it's really bad. Poetry is not my strong point, but I've decided to try my hand at it so I can get better. Also, I just needed to vent. Very badly. Again, I apologize if it sucks.

Hello, purplepen!

Delighted to meet you! I'm Baywolf!

I have to say, not being a poetry person myself, that I rather liked your poem. It is short and to the point, which are both very nice things, at least in my opinion. The topic itself is of interest to me since I'm one of those "quiet" types too. Just because we don't talk in class doesn't mean we don't have a personality, does it? Didn't think so. I'm actually quite outgoing when I'm with my friends or family. I just know enough to shut up and listen to the teacher so I can do well in school.

Anyway, I understand your need to vent. Verse gives us freedom to express ourselves and just let things FLOW. It's kind of like blood-letting but without the pain or actual loss of blood. Which is preferable, I think in the long run. You need your blood.

Anyway, don't give up on your poetic license, little purplepen!

Happy Writing!
Baywolf

Hi! Just a quick review!

I have to say, first of all, that I am NOT a fan of rhyming poetry. But that's just me lol. I do have to say, though, I enjoyed this little poem. It was short, sweet, and coy. For someone who poety is not their strongpoint you did a great job. Keep it up! Here's a nitpick of the final few lines:

purplepen wrote:If you ever saw my true personality taking flight,
You would veiw me in a brand new light

You've gone, in my opinion, from sweet and simplistic to long and wordy in the top line. I think perhaps all you need to say is 'If you saw the true me taking flight...'

That is my only critism! great work! keep it up! AC xxx

No!!! This does not suck at all, I have read and written far worse. I actually enjoyed this I thought it was really simple and true. I always wonder what people would think of me if they saw the real me and I think the same about other people. So I thought you did a great job especially for just starting poetry, I admire the way you are writing poetry to better your skills. If you ever need a review just pm me thanks for posting! Keep the writting rolling
Peace,
Snickerdooly

hellooo XD
This is a really good piece!! I love how it's short and straight to the point!!
my criticism:

You may think I'm shy in class,
Quietly waiting for the time to pass,
But with my friends you would not see
A shy and quiet little me.
If you ever saw the true me taking flight,
You would veiw me in a brand new light.

veiw should be view
nice work!!
-qaralynn-

Great poem! It was short and sweet (:
This is definetly me, I can be really quiet or really loud and weird. Ahahahhaa.
I think you got your idea across well. My only suggestion is that you try adding to it. This can easily be developed further. However, since this is just a try a poety, I think it is well-done. I also enjoyed the rhymning. Great work, you should try some more!

Shalom, this be Ninjy reviewing.

I always hate reviewing poetry because I am absolutely awful at it, but I'll try.

This isn't the best poem I've ever read, but it's definitely not the worst. In the last two lines, it sort of seems strained, like you were trying too hard to find words that rhymed and fit. The rhythm was sort off in the second line. If you read it out loud, you can tell that there are too many syllables.

I get where you're coming from and I commend you on trying to do poetry even if it's not your strong suit. All of us could learn a little from that. Don't give up on this! Writing isn't a one-shot thing. It takes work and serious R & E.

Good luck with the future and have fun writing!

~NCM~

Your poem was short and sweet. I really liked it. I love that a lot of people are like that- Me, for one. Great job.

Hi! I can completely relate to this poem and I think that's why I really like it. It's short and sweet and it flows and rhymes really well, so no problems there. I would say that it could do with being a bit longer, but I think you've said all you need to say really. I'd normally say your rhyming is a bit simple and predictable but in this instance I think it sounds young and innocent and lends to the tone of the poem. Overall, good job.