My Life As Hanna

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My Life As Hanna


“Cut!” yelled the director. My heart dropped and I screamed inside. What was I doing wrong this time? “Chelsea, you need to act surprised when they all come to you. Play the part, feel the part, and BE the part! Let’s try this again. And… action!”
Action was the one word to describe my life. I’m playing Hanna Hudson in the new TV show, My Life As Hanna. I was running around Hollywood meeting directors, agents, and famous stars. I was walking down the red carpet, and waking up at 4:00 in the morning to start filming the show.
I look up at the set, and start walking down the long hallway that the builders had built for me to walk down… as Hanna. The script said exactly this; Walk down the hallway like you are the best person in the world. I strut down the tile floor, one foot in front of the other, like the perfect super model. Right on cue, the fans start streaming in. “Hanna!” “I love you!” “Can I have your autograph?”, they all asked eagerly. Of course I knew they were acting, but somehow I wanted it to be real. I mean, everyone does at one point, right? I gave them my most surprised face, trying not to look at the huge cameras on me. The screaming fans swarmed around like they were supposed to, so I singed a few of their autographs and walked to class, exactly as the script had said to do.
After filming some more of the show, my agent called me into his office to check on me. I went into the limo and asked the driver to drive me to Martin Millers office. Without thinking, he nodded his head and took me immediately.
I love Martin Millers office. It smells like fresh cherries and looks perfect, like a beautiful cloud had rained on the office and planted something amazing. The brown leather chairs sat next to the wooden table, with beautiful roses and tulips in a dark blue vase on top. There was a desk in front of the chairs, with papers scattered around. Somehow, the desk looked extremely organized, even though everything was in the wrong place. I sat down in the chair on the right and waited for Martin to come in. I looked over and saw his come through the glass door and into his seat, and slid into his desk. “Well, hello miss Chelsea! How are you today on this fine morning?”
“I am perfect. And how are you?” I always tried to be as polite as I could, because, well, he was my agent.
“I am great, thank for asking. So I called you up here to talk about how your show is going. Do you like the acting, and the script? The director said that you were doing just amazing. I know it’s true!”
I thought about the show. I was having a blast, making new friends and getting paid lots of money. The show was premiering in about a month, and I couldn’t wait to see how people liked it. The commercial on E had already premiered, and people were saying that it was going to be a huge hit, bigger than the show Glee. But, I also wanted to visit my old town. I want to show the girls that used to tease me that Chelsea is famous and amazing.
“It’s going great! I love it there. But when am I going to get a break to go back home?” I asked him. His face turned from a smile to a flat face. I didn’t know what to think, is this good or bad? I looked down, waiting for an answer. After what felt like an hour he said that I would get a week to go home, and I could pick either next week or the week after. Without thinking, I picked next week. I couldn’t wait to show everyone how much I have changed!
Walking out of the private jet had a much different feeling than I thought it would. I felt like a whole different person, but it was amazing to be back inside where I was once just a regular girl. I walked into the airport with cameras flashing around me, which I was used to now. I stepped inside and saw my best friend, Julia.
“Chelsea!” She yells to me. I was so happy to see her, her voice, and just be inside my hometown.
“Julia!” I yell to her. We wrapped our arms around each other in a huge hug. I saw many fans and other photographers, but I didn’t care about them. All I cared about was sucking in the moment, because after all, I am going to my old school tomorrow with Julia.
I walk up the big steps to the school. My arm is linked with Julia’s, and we walk up together. She opens the door to me, only to see screaming kids in every grade. It was exactly like my show, except in real life.
I turn my head around to see all the students screaming with cameras, but I then see Spencer in the crowd. She has a notebook and pen, screaming for an autograph. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Spencer, the one who had tortured me when I went here, is screaming for me! I walk straight up to her. She looks like she is about to pass out, but I take the pen and notebook straight out of her hand. I write my perfect new signature on the paper, with a little extra something for her troubles. I put it back in her hand, give her a smile, and walk away with Julie.

To be continued…




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Pretty good story. I htink you could make this into a novel. The only thing I see is that it reminds me of Hannah Montana. Any relation? Was it inspired from this show? I know it's just a show, but Miley Cyrus acts as a teenage girl who also sings. It made me think of it anyway.

This is cool and I hope you add to it!
90% of writing is re-writing!




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“Cut!” yelled the director. My heart dropped and I screamed inside. What was I doing wrong this time? “Chelsea, you need to act surprised when they all come to you. Play the part, feel the part, and BE the part! Let’s try this again. And… action!”
Action was the one word to describe my life. I’m playing Hanna Hudson in the new TV show, My Life As Hanna. I was running around Hollywood meeting directors, agents, and famous stars. I was walking down the red carpet, and waking up at 4:00 in the morning to start filming the show. Okay, so just a few things. This just a little rushed, when she talks about her schedule and such. Slow it down, and then not only do we get a glimpse of her daily life, but of the person behind that life.


I look up at the set, and start walking down the long hallway that the builders had built for me to walk down… as Hanna. A stupid personal pet peeve...but "the builders had built" sounds kind of weak and repetitive to me. Instead of built, maybe change it for a word like constructed, created, etc.?


There are more little things like this throughout, mostly just the general feeling of it being rushed. We don't get a good sense of who your character is, really, and since it goes so fast she seems more 2-dimensional and flat. We don't feel anything for her, really, because she doesn't feed us any emotions. I think you should worry less about getting everything crammed in to the first part of your story. Take your time and help us to know who Hanna is.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket




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Thank for reviewing!
First reviewer, I really do want to keep this story going. I think that it could be a hit! And I did get a little inspired by the show Hanna Montana, but I don't think that Chelsea is going to 1) Have a double life and 2) Be a singer. Thanks for the feed back! Thank you so much!

Second reviewer, I love how you read my story and gave me some feedback. I really appreciate it! I would like to keep going and possibly make this into a whole novel with things in between, but first i need to put everything together into three or four parts. I am trying to edit this paper to what you had said. Thanks for everything!

lacy1321



Attention is the beginning of devotion.
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