Speaking Of It...

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This is my first successful attempt at writing short stories.. Please review and help me perfect it...

Speaking of it

I knew that only 2 minutes were left before I had to go onstage and speak, But I had no idea what to speak. My story was not one that people feel comfortable speaking of. As i thought of the right words to tell my story I went over the events that have taken place in the past 3 months, The events that have lead me to do what I'm going to do...

The entire problem began when I had a fight with my best friend. This was the biggest and worst fight we had ever gotten into... And it ended with Nupur saying, "You know what, Mahi? You're just hopeless! All this time I stayed with you thinking that you'd get better, But I guess not. You're always going to stay the depressed poetry-writing nut. And i don't want to be called the 'Morbid Cynic's best friend'."

Those words had been hard on me. I knew people liked to stay away from me, no-one had ever, ever attached those words to me.

Yeah, I wrote depressed poetry. And I DID think people were selfish. But the only reason was because people had made me suffer a lot. While playing basketball, Volleyball or anything for that matter, I was the last one to be selected. People avoided me all the time.

But the reason her words hit very hard was because I knew they were true... in some tiny way...

Those words made an impact on me. I tried to convince everyone around me that I was not depressed. I started laughing a lot and I stopped writing poetry completely. I changed everything about me. My clothes, My hair, my way of speaking, my personality. Everyone around me noticed that I had changed. At the Open Days at school, the teacher's remarks changed. From, "She doesn't Open her mouth at all," they changed to "Her mouth is never shut".

My parents were happy that I was different. They were happy that I finally had many friends. I was a part of the 'Popular Crowd'. It felt nice to have many friends. But Nupur was not a part of my new friends. I had moved on, but she had not. I got in with the people she wanted to be with and she was still stuck with the 'uncool' people. She didn't like that... I could see th lust in her eyes every time I walked by her with my new friends.

Everyone thought I was happy, except me.

I was the most unhappy person alive. That good feeling of having many friends was short lived. I had a huge group of friends, but not a single good friend. None of them knew the sadness behind my happy facade. None of then ever saw the real me or even a fraction of her. I was all alone when I needed friends.

That was when I went again into the depression. Last time at least I had my best friend. This time I had nobody. No friends. I was all alone with me and my sadness...

Within a few days I was so depressed that I never heard or said anything happy. I saw movies without happy endings, Listened to songs about life's unfairness. I dreamt of what it would be like to die. I thought of getting a terminal disease like cancer or tumor and dying. Smiles and laughter were endangered things in my life.

I don't know how r when it happened, but soon I started thinking of ways to die. I thought of the people I would call to my funeral. I decided what to write in my will and all sorts of crazy things. And then one day I broke down. It seemed that things wouldn't improve at all, and I needed an escape. the pressure and darkness seemed to have overpowered that small part of me that was still resisting surrender. And I gave up.

I went to the kitchen and took the sharpest knife. With its edge on my wrist I prayed to God for a peaceful death. I prayed that my parents would forgive me. The knife pierced my skin and the blood came out. Suddenly I heard lot of shouting and then there was the numbness.

Next thing I knew I was in the hospital. My mother was at my side. When she noticed me coming around she asked why I tried to commit suicide. And I told her everything there...

Its been 2 months since that day. Nupur came back to help me. We are now closer than ever and i have almost recovered. The healing process was not easy but my friends helped me.

This has been the longest journey of my life. But I know its not over yet. One thing is left to do.

As I went to the stage, looked at the kids in the auditorium. One girl caught my attention. She seemed to be 12 years or so. When I saw the scared expression on her face, I knew what to say.

"19th September 2010 was a big date in my life..." I spoke to the people in front of me. And as I spoke I knew was going to help that little scared girl and every scared soul listening to me. That's what gave me the strength to come out and speak of it...
The answers lie within.. You only need to look.. :)




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This is beautifully written. The beauty lies in the simpicity of the words you used. Overall I am impressed. But that's not all . . .

Is this a true story? I ask because it comes off raw with emotion. I can relate to the situations you found yourself in. You can tell when a writer writes from imagination and when he/she writes from experience. You measure your own experience against what the writer wrote. If you find more similarities then not, it means the writer wrote truth. So, I decided this is a true story.

And because of that, I wont comment on any negatives, for I understand how discouraging it could be when you write something from the heart and you get rotten responses.

But the reason her words hit very hard was because I knew they were true... in some tiny way...


I love this sentence and the fact that you isolated it. A very good touch to the story. It's like the trigger-line for what's to follow.

As I went to the stage, looked at the kids in the auditorium. One girl caught my attention. She seemed to be 12 years or so. When I saw the scared expression on her face, I knew what to say.

As a reader I could not have asked for a better ending

Very well done.




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This is a beautiful piece. The simplicity added to its brilliance and it's very easy to understand. I've got a few mistakes I'd like to point out though.

    As i thought of the right words to tell my story I went over the events that have taken place in the past 3 months, The events that have lead me to do what I'm going to do...
This is a confusing sentence. You could try "As I thought of the right words to use to tell my story, I went over the events that have taken place in the past three months. The events that have led me to do what I'm going to do."

    But the reason her words hit very hard was because I knew they were true... in some tiny way...

I think this sentence explains a lot of what you want to say. The isolation of this particular part gave it its own back bone per se.

    While playing basketball, Volleyball; As i thought; My clothes, My hair,

Be careful of your capitalization. There are some words that you should capitalize but you don't while others that you shouldn't you do.

Other than these, it was a job well done. Good luck! :)
Writing is not simply 'telling', it is also 'showing'. ~ Yanni1995



Most things happen for a reason. Though, usually, the forces that be are immature enough that the reason is comedy.
— WeepingWisteria