Poetry Contest

5 posts
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Points 1155
Reviews 58
This poem was written by me and OptimisimUnderRain


The kids sat here anxiously,
waiting for that final click.
Staring apprehensively,
tick tock tick.

No matter where you were,
figity children filled the room,
slowly losing focus.
Lost teachers tryed to resume.

Yet, everyone shared one thing,
the thought of liberty.
The thoughts of freedom,
an absolute beauty.

The thin red hand is finally there,
finally at the :55
Everyone in the room chants at once,
everyone starts to feel alive.

5,4,3,2,1!
all the students freely shout.
Papers fly everywhere,
school is substantially out.

Outside there are students running everywhere,
through the grass, throught the halls.
Everyone is alleviated,
laughing, dancing, having a ball.

Two months just seems.....
so far away,
But they're only in the nows,
in the today.

No thoughts about the return,
or the learning strife.
Just the thoughts of the beautiful
days of the summer life

Please Comment!!!
You are more than the choices that you've made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create, You'v been remade.

http://writemeaway.blogspot.com/




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awesome. i love poems about school. please write more soon :)
YellowAeroplane




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Points 1464
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Hello, this is SweetMoments here to review on review day!
This is pretty cool! I like how you effortly rhyme without making it sound forced, which is very hard to do!
It's cool because there are not many poems about school much less good ones. Which makes this one a jewel.
Good work!
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.


~Previously SweetMoments




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The rhythm is good, except in various spots in the first few stanzas. I feel this poem is a little typical, especially in the last lines. If you gave one more stanza/couplet to talk about this "summer life" I think it would be a little better. Not bad, actually.
Faith is God Given. We cannot rely on our own faith, but in trusting that He is always there for us.




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Points 7297
Reviews 156
Outside there are students running everywhere,
through the grass, throught the halls.
Everyone is alleviated,
laughing, dancing, having a ball.

Two months just seems.....
so far away,
But they're only in the nows,
in the only focused on today.

No thoughts about the return,
or the learning strife.
Just the thoughts of the beautiful
days of the summer life

I LOVED this poem, so true
So, a dyslexic man walks into a bra....



Nouns can verb very well actually, they verb better than some verbs do.
— winterwolf0100