Old Car

Spoiler

Another...quirky...?...poem.

Fine steely-gray interior,
Painted blue above but
Peeling away to show
The craftsmanship, the
Truemanship,
The Man-Has-Made-
With-Love-manship.
They call you junk,
Tease those 70’s styles.
Well radial tires,
Keep on rollin’.
Keep the radio on,
Keep it rockin’,
Rollin’.
Those leather seats
Have known all age,
Keep the party goin’
From the Beach Boy
Daze;
Don’t road in rage,
Just follow the craze,
Fine steely-gray car,
My own dream car
From the Beach Boy daze.

I rather like this poem. It captured in part the nostalgia for old cars. I liked the part where it was talking about how, even though it was old, it was well built. It communicated that pride in craftsmanship which I think is less common in cars today; mostly because cars are designed to be disposable.

There are a couple of parts that don't seem to work though. The Beach Boy reference, for instance, seems like it would be more appropriate for the sixties than the seventies. The last two stanzas repeat the Beach Boy reference, which I think is one time too many. The last stanza could probably be rewritten to sound less repetitive.

Overall though, the poem is good.

I like this poem. It is awesome! I like the tone of the poem, which is pride. I like the details in the poem, too. For example,

"Fine steely-gray interior,
Painted blue above but
Peeling away to show
The craftsmanship, the
Truemanship,
The Man-Has-Made-
With-Love-manship."

I like the details here, especially the epithets such as "The Man-Has-Made-
With-Love-manship" and "Truemanship." I even like the message in the poem which is keep being who you are and don't care what other people say. That's really an inspiring message.

I also like the end-rhymes you use at the end of the poem. Although, it's like what my teacher once told me, when it comes to rhyming, you either rhyme or you don't rhyme. What I mean is you either rhyme at every line or you cross-rhyme. Here's an example of cross-rhyming if you don't know what are cross-rhymes or how to cross-rhyme,

I sat on a boat.
I was fishing on a lake.
I want a root beer float,
Or a big, juicy steak.

Notice how I rhyme boat with float and lake with steak, that's how you cross-rhyme. If you look at poetry by Robert Frost, you'll notice his rhyming scheme. He rhymes at every line in half of his poetry and he cross-rhymes in some of his poetry. Getting back on point, your poem is, overall, cute and great!:) I urge you to keep writing poetry!:)

Good work! You were very descriptive! Just split it into stanzas, and it will be a lot easier to understand!